Think Different Theory

identity shifting for entrepreneurs

Scared Because Of Identity


In this episode, I talk about how most people are scared because of their identity and comfort zone.


Most people don’t become whom they want to be because of their identity. The same fear they have of being broke keeps them from being rich.

Very few people talk about this and it is so important.

This is a realization that so many people need to have and that people don’t understand. People are just as scared to be successful as they are to fail. Why? It was very simple. I’ll tell you why in this episode.


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January 16, 2019


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This is a realization that so many people need to have and that people don’t understand. People are just as scared to be successful as they are to fail. Why? It was very simple. I’ll tell you why. It’s because….

00:13 You are now entering a new paradigm. So, here was my issue. I wonder to find the answers to life’s biggest questions. Things like how do I become happy and live with purpose? How do I make more money doing what I love and what does it mean to be truly successful in all areas of life? My name is Josh Forti @joshforti on Instagram and I ask life’s biggest questions and share the answers with you. My goal is to help you find purpose, happiness, and open your mind to new realms of possibility by helping you think differently about everything you do know and understand on this podcast. We think different. We dream bigger and we live in a world without minutes. This is a new paradigm. Welcome to the think different.

01:01 What’s up guys? Welcome back to another episode of The Think Different Theory. My name is Josh Forti and welcome to episode 10 where we’re going to be talking about identity shifting and why people are so afraid to actually go and succeed. Why I believe that people are afraid to go succeed and why they’re just as much scared of failure as they are in success without even realizing it. And actually the reason I’m actually very excited about this episode is because this, this episode came out of a conversation that I had with my mother and my mother and I had this same exact conversation today and I think it’s super important. It’s a realization that I had and once I had this realization I was like, oh my gosh, this makes so much sense and I have not figured out how to overcome this fully yet, but I believe that the first step in overcoming something and working through something is realizing like the actual problem.

01:57 Having the epiphany, having the realization that, oh, this is what’s actually is going on. Because once you identify it, you’re able to actually go fix it. And so let me explain basically how this came about. So I was listening to, I believe, I believe it was a podcast by Stephen Larsen. I don’t. I don’t think he was the one to originally say. I think it came from a book. I have to go back and look. Anyhow, in the. In the clip he was talking about this identity shift that people have and basically when you. I got to give context this because you may not know what I’m talking about here. Each person has an identity. They have an identity of who you are. It’s the clothes you wear. It’s how you talk. It’s what you drive. It’s the swagger you carry. It’s what makes you, you is your identity, right?

02:50 Well, of all things around them. So the amount of money you make plays into that. Who you hang out with. Where are you hanging out with? All of these things play into your identity. So I want you to think of everything like the best way to that I can explain to this that are explained you this to, to kind of get an understanding is if you were trying to describe yourself and your personality and what you like and don’t like so that somebody could get to know you without ever meeting you and have a visual picture of everything about you, how tall you are, what you look like, what you talk like, what you act, your vibes, where you hang out, your interest, your disliked, your likes. If you were to explain that to someone else, that’s like your identity. All right? Now when you study marketing, and if you haven’t studied marketing, I’m going to give you a marketing 100, one level or one on one class here at a very basic level, you have to understand like there’s a lot more that goes into it, but I’m going to put this in very easy to understand terms that you understand this marketing, like how I discovered this in its entirety.

03:56 Okay? So in marketing, what we’re trying to do is we’re trying to get someone to have an identity shift to come over and buy our product. What do I mean by this? Right now, I’m sitting here and I am comfortable. I have my habits. I have the things that I buy, the normal every single day things and who I am. Now, if I as a marketer actually going to say you. So like you have all those things. If I as a marketer want to get you to come over and buy my product and it’s something out of the norm, it’s something that you wouldn’t buy. It’s a new opportunity, a new cause to you. I can spark your interest in it quite easily. However, in order for me to go and get you to come and buy this product, I have to go and I have to convince you that where you’re at in your journey of life right now, your current identity has a flaw in it.

04:57 And that if you have this new thing that you will now ha, have this new identity, this thing will become part of who you are or is the thing that you want to become and get you to believe in that new identity of yourself so that you go out and buy that thing. Now when it sounds like that, it sounds very extreme, like major makeovers, a personality, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m simply talking about the difference between if I was trying to get. Let’s say you wore Adidas all the time, Adidas clothing and I was selling Nike. I have to convince you that you’re actually a Nike person, that Nike is who you are. You’re not a details person. I know you grew up that way, right? I know you always wear Adidas, but Nike is where it really where you want to be at because Nike stands, we’re going to just do it and it’s bold and it’s out there and they play big with that.

05:47 I mean, marketers play big, big, big with identity just like celebrities and sports figures. It’s why they pay them millions and millions of dollars to get them to wear their clothing because then the masses will be like, yeah, I want to be like Lebron James. I want to be like Tom Brady. I want to be like, you know, whoever, insert your person there because when you buy that, you’re buying an identity, you’re buying status, you’re buying a symbol of who you are and become. Okay. So in, in marketing we’re trying to shift those identities. Well in life we have these identities for everything. Our identity, it covers everything. What we drink, what we wear, the clothes. I mean the car we drive, the job we’re at as part of our identity, right? And were either ashamed of our identity or we love our identity, right? Like as who I am, I might not be too proud of it, but that’s me, right?

06:33 Like I own it. And when you go out there and try to challenge someone’s identity and you go out there and you say like, Hey, like you got to change who you are in order to become this person or this thing or, or to. To have this thing like that’s a hard thing to do, especially in the game of success because people like their comfort zone, all right? And people have become accustomed to what they’re used to and what they’re used to is their identity. It’s who they are. All right? So if you’re used to, and I’m just gonna use the money example because this is something that we all can relate to. If you are used to making $50,000 a year, right? And you shop at the stores that you shop at, I don’t know, maybe Kohl’s, Walmart, um, you know, maybe every now and then you splurge, you drive a, a nicer Toyota, you know, it’s a nicer car, nothing too crazy or whatever.

07:35 And you have made that into your daily habits that $50,000 lifestyle, that range or whatever. Okay? Everything that you are doing in your life, more or less is working in conjunction with each other to keep you at that level of comfort. All right? So if one thing changes, more often than not, it has a ripple effect into all other areas of your life. So if you go and you like decide to start working out, that’s an identity shift, but it doesn’t just, it doesn’t just effect and these can be positive or negative identity shifts, it doesn’t just affect your workout schedule, it affects your workout and it affects how you feel probably the time that you wake up, which then affects the time you go to bed if you want to do things right, right. Like if you effectively want to get on a workout schedule, you’re probably gonna wake up earlier, which means you got to go to bed earlier, which means you’re gonna probably eat healthier, which means you’re going to probably become more aware of your diet, which means you probably have to start cutting out fast food, which was your poly means you’re going to be saving money.

08:38 All those things. Let’s go ripple effect in a positive or a negative way. So if you turn on more Netflix and start watching more Netflix, that probably means that you’re going to, you know, go and eat more junk food and not go to the gym as much and not read as much. And like there’s ripple effects in all areas of life. Okay? So you see this one single action changing creates a huge, massive, massive ripple effect. And what we just talked about that on another episode, that’s not what I’m going to focus on here, but it’s super important key to this. Okay? So when I come and I tell you, hey, do you want to be a failure? You’re like, no, absolutely not. Why don’t I want to be a failure? Because it means leaving my comfort zone, right? It means having to give up what I’m used to and what’s familiar to me.

09:24 Right? And going out there, if I said I’m going to cut your salary in half to $25,000, guess what? Your salary is not the only thing that’s affected where you eat, where you shop, what you do, where you spend your money, how much money you save, what you’re able to do. All those things change your identity. Change now at this point, okay? And now you have to hang out with. And I don’t mean as an a drag a troy, but like the poorer people right now, you can’t shop at the nicer places. Now you can hang out with all your friends on Friday night. Your friends are gonna. Look at you dear we weird. Okay. You’re going to have a negative impact from where? From your current circle of influence, gay. Your current circle of influence is constantly judging you and you are judging slash measuring up yourself against other people in your state of identity, right?

10:13 Because guess what? You don’t know people below you. You don’t know people above you. You only know the people that you know and where you’re at in that identity spot. So now, if you all decided to become poor, the people that knew you had a lot of money or knew you had money for $50,000 a year, we’re making it good. Now they know you’re broke. Now you appear like a loser. They’re going to think differently of you simply because you’re not doing it like them. And they’re going to think, oh, we’re better than you, or whatever. It’s identity thing. We’re scared of that. All right. The same is true when you go and try to get rich. The same is true when you go and try and get success. It doesn’t feel the same, but it’s the same. I don’t know, mental battle that you’re playing in your head because all of the sudden when you go and you want to go become successful, like here’s the thing, if somebody came to you and you won the lottery of $100,000 and you’re still making that $50,000 a year and all of a sudden we just plopped down a one payment of $100,000, it might change a couple of your habits for a little bit, but it’s not going to radically change your life.

11:16 Your friends aren’t going to think differently of you. You’ll one one time, $100,000. The rest of your life is not going to change. Why? Because the rest of your life is not changing, right? That’s why your friends don’t care. That’s why the people around you, you don’t care, but if I were to stop all the sudden add 100,000 dollars. If I’m sorry if I told you, hey, I’m going to add $100,000 a year to your salary by giving you a better job, but that also means that now you have to work longer hours. Now instead of working in a factory, you are working at a better career. Job, shirt and tie. Right? I got really made fun of when I first shifted in the entrepreneurship world, I started dressing nicer. This is before I realized I didn’t have to, but I wear a shirt and tie.

11:58 When I first got started in the insurance world and partnership world, people viewed me differently. Why? Because now all the sudden your entire life changes and you’re scared and if you’re building a business right, you’re going to excuse me, go and try to make more money. You’re afraid if you want to buy a nicer car, you want to have a nicer house, but you’re going to feel guilty because, oh my gosh. Now you’re now like what? My friends think. That same feeling of what one of my fence thing happens when you have less money to them or you have more money to them. The same feeling of this happens to your parents, to your, your spouse, your kids, your whatever. Right? If you’ve got kids yet, I don’t. Probably many of you don’t layers know what I’m saying because when you go and chase success, it’s not just the money that’s changing.

12:45 It’s so many areas. You have to become a new person when you go become successful. I am not the old Josh Forti, alright Joshua Forti from 2012 back bale and hay. The a lot of qualities are there, good hard work ethics and things of that nature, but I am not the same person. I killed old knee and put on new me and I went out there and I became a new person. I have a new mindset. I have a new way of thinking. I have new actions. I hang out with different people. I think differently. I go into all these things because I became a new person in my chase of success and like whatever. And some of you may be sitting there thinking right now, well, I like who I am. There’s nothing wrong with me. I might not maybe make as much money, but like I’m not a bad person.

13:32 That’s your identity. Okay? You’re sitting there going, I’m not a bad person. I like who I am. There’s nothing there. Nothing wrong here. Right? You go into defense mode, you got to learn to look at things objectively, by the way. But anyway, so when you go and want to become successful, some people don’t struggle with it that much. Some people are like, Nah, man, I want to be rich. That’s my identity. Rich, rich, rich. I don’t stop in time. Rich, they have no problem jumping. But a lot of people don’t. When I first started, it was far less of a problem for me. I didn’t have a lot of friends. I was left with the party. I was loud and obnoxious. I know a lot of people liked me. Um, and so I went out and didn’t care what people think. And here’s the thing, there is a difference between not caring what people think and struggling with the identity shift, not caring what people think about the actions that you do.

14:23 Because here’s the thing. I didn’t care if people thought I was weird for chasing my dreams or people thought I was weird for using social media. None of that bothered me. What bothered me is when people started viewing me differently, when I started having or making more money or doing nicer things, like they thought I was like high and mighty, and they started acting like, oh, you just think you’re above us when not me. My happy go lucky. Helpful personality didn’t change my accident, changed my thought process changed or whatever, but I still cared about people and I wanted to be friends with a lot of those people. But so many of them treated me differently because I had that bothered me because it was an identity thing for me. All right? The act of being different in bother me, but the perception of what people thought I was becoming did, and it’s a struggle and it will hold you back from success.

15:17 It will and you’ve got to be able to rise above that. You’ve got to be able to go and understand that, hey, it’s just a new identity. It’s a new way. It’s, it’s a different way of life. You grow up and let’s say, Oh gosh, I’m going to be, I don’t know what the numbers are here, so don’t like, don’t hold this as absolute fact, let’s say throughout your life. The average person, you and me, I grew up in a pretty small town, but let’s say average, you know, let you grab a big down. You come in contact with over the course of the first 18 to 22 years of your life, like 20 years of life, you’ve probably come in contact with, I don’t know, 10, 20,000 people like actually in contact with maybe like multiple on a regular everyday occurrence. You come in contact with like 500 to a thousand unique people, right?

16:12 That you actually like would know and remember their name type deal. Like it’s not that many people, but your environment and who you’re surrounded by. Let’s just say it’s a hundred and 50,000 people, 200,000 people that you see in your hometown city, wherever you’re located. It’s not that many 150,000, but that’s like the population of the city. Those people all have that. Like that standard. There’s a standard of living in that city that people will become accustomed to have that 150 or even quarter million people. That’s like one point, oh, oh, one percent of the seven or 8 billion people that are on this planet, the seven or 8 billion different ways to live life, the literal hundreds and hundreds of different ways to go about the same thing and the identity or identities that people have, and when you understand that different does not mean good or bad.

17:06 It’s simply means different. And so when you’re out there and you’re struggling, the thing that I do for me is I encourage you to always base everything in absolute truth. You’ve got to find absolute truth. I believe that absolute truth comes from the Bible. Not everybody believes that, but that’s a discussion for another time, but when you have a set of absolute truths that you can balance what you believe in this why it’s so important to know your core values and what you stand for, okay, because you cannot base your identity in what other people think of you because if you do that, number one, you’ll never please any anyone because everybody’s going to have a different opinion and number two, you’re always going to be afraid of change all the time because you’re literally going to just settle in forever in or for whoever you’re around.

18:00 That’s why people that get picked up from one place and drop them a completely new city with no choice of their own. You know, they move for a job relocation or they’re a young kid and they moved cross country with their family or whatever that thing is where you’re literally a country person and you’re a city person or vice versa. All of a sudden they become much more open-minded. Why? Because they had to. They didn’t have a choice all of this out and they were put into a completely new environment with a completely new way of doing things. That’s why traveling and go traveling abroad and seeing different countries and societies and the way they work is so informative and that’s why you learn so much because it’s a new way of doing things. It’s just different. Okay? It’s, it’s what you’re not used to.

18:42 It’s out of your comfort zone. Therefore it’s out of your identity, so rather than seeing that thing and being afraid of it, you need to ask yourself, does this line up with what I believe? And if the answer is yes, then you can look at it and go, is this something that I want to do or not? First you ask yourself the question, is it right or wrong? If the answer isn’t there and remember, just because it’s different doesn’t mean it’s wrong, and just because it’s different doesn’t mean it’s right. Go in and I look at everything from an absolute truth perspective. Hey, it’s not. Do my parents think this is okay? It’s not just my best friend thing. This is okay. It’s not really even do I think it’s okay for the very first question, it’s, is this right or wrong? Does this line up with my core belief values?

19:26 If you’re a Christian, like me, absolute truth, the Bible doesn’t line up with that. If you’re not a Christian, you have a set of absolute truths. Then you line up with that and go, does this align? If the answer is yes, then you go, okay, is this something that I want to do it not just because you just because of the lines doesn’t mean you have to do it right? Like there’s a lot of things that are totally fine for me to do, but that doesn’t mean that’s what I want to do, so I go, I say is okay, yes. Then I get my permission to either follow it or not follow it and then everything that you know to be true, now you have to do the same thing too. Why do you, and this goes back to the question of why like why do you think that making a lot of money’s bad or being broke is bad or whatever?

20:01 First off, does that align with your core values? Yes or no? Okay. Yes. Well, that is a bad or good. Well, it’s more of like, do you want to do that or not? There’s nothing inherently wrong about being poor. There’s nothing inherently wrong about being rich or anywhere in between, so the question then becomes, okay, do I want to go do it and if so, then what’s the route that I want to go do it, but stop placing your identity in what other people think. Place your identity in absolute truth and don’t be afraid to change and adapt when you’re able to go and open your mind and be open to new realms of discovery. Okay? Your life will change. I grew up and this is very controversial probably in a lot of Christian worlds, but I grew up believing and being taught that the Bible is absolute truth.

20:55 That’s what I grew up to believe, but let me tell you, I tested that. I had a realization one day that I said, if I want someone to become a Christian, let’s say I was out, you know, administering to them or someone was asking about my faith and they were interested, become a Christian and I shared my faith with them and then they’re like, well, I’m Muslim and I want to share my face with you, and I go, no, no, no, no, you’re wrong because you’re Muslim, right? Or you’re wrong because you’re Catholic or atheist or whatever. Why would I expect them to listen to my side of things if I’m not willing to actually go and open my mind to listen to? There’s that. What if I am wrong? There’s always an option that you’re wrong, and so I did and I’ve listened to many different other faces in ways of thinking and beliefs and thought processes and ways versus X.

21:33 Why? Because I’m constantly learning and I’m going back and saying, okay, what do I believe? What do I believe? Does this line up? Could I be wrong here? And I’m constantly being okay with shifting my identity and shifting my beliefs as I learn more. Yes, I want to stick to what I know is true and yes, I’m always going to err on that side, but I cannot be so closed minded that when someone else presents a new idea that I automatically shut down because it’s not it in what I can understand, not what I’m used to or not within my comfort zone. All right? Be bigger than that. Have a bigger thought process and that, think different about that and it will change your life and understand that if you’re scared to be successful, that’s normal because it’s an identity shift. You might not even realize you’re scared to be successful, but understand that that’s a thing.

22:24 Go out there and rather than being scared to be successful, change your environment, go out there and change your environment. I cannot stress to you the importance enough of getting around like-minded people and then that will really help you. Alright. Alright guys, if you have any questions on this or give me any want to give me any feedback on anything @joshforti on Instagram @joshforti on Instagram. We’d love to hear back from you, me know what you thought. Did you like it? Did you not like it? Did you agree? Do you disagree? Do you want more like this? Hit me up there. It’s always a good time over there on the gram @joshforti, I will see you there guys. As always, thanks for listening. Hustle, hustle. God bless. Do not be afraid to think different because those of us that think different are going to be the ones that changed the world and when remember, when you think different, you’re going to be misunderstood, but that’s okay because it’s 100 percent worth it. Alright? I love you all and I will see you on the next episode. Take it easy, fam. Peace.

23:30 Yo, what’s up guys? You’ve been listening to the think different theory with myself, Josh Forti, which I like to call a new paradigm of thinking and real quick, I got a question for you. Did you like this episode? If you did, I want to ask a huge favor. See the biggest thing that helps this podcast grow and that will spread this message of positivity and making the world a better place is if you leave a review or rating and subscribe to the podcast. What that does is it basically tells the platforms that this is out on, that you liked my stuff and that I’m doing something right, so if you could take like three seconds out of your day and subscribe, leave a rating and review, I will be forever grateful for you. Also, I want to hear from you, I want to know your feedback, your ideas, and your questions for future episodes, so be sure to hit me up on Instagram in the DM @joshforti or via email