Think Different Theory

Explore the Deep Dark Places of Your Mind


In this episode, I’m going to talk about the importance of really exploring the deep dark secrets and dark parts of your mind, and being radically honest with yourself. I will open up about some of my struggles, and talk about the process that I went through with being honest with myself, and how it affected me.


I believe this is something that is crucially important to personal development that no one talks about, and so I hope this episode will help effect positive change in your life.

Here are the key topics discussed in this episode:

  • Practicing the routine of self-honesty (03:01)
  • If you fear something, you should explore it (07:40)
  • Hard conversations with yourself will bring you ultimate freedom (15:37)
  • People will blame you for issues they need to fix themselves (21:11)
  • Being honest with ourselves so we can achieve our dreams (27:19)
  • Change is hard and affects more than you (30:00)
  • The psychedelic experience (35:22)
  • Freeing your mind is a conversation that matters (38:09)


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August 5th, 2019


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Disclaimer:   The Transcript Is Auto Generated And May Contain Spelling And Grammar Errors

00:00  Josh, why are you doing this? You’re lying not only to people, you’re lying to yourself. You’re saying that this is what you want, but it’s not. You’re saying like, this is so awesome and amazing, but you’re doing it just so that you can make money and get out of it. And I mean, I have an agency now, but it’s not my focus. It’s to fund the podcast, it’s to fund my dreams, I have no problem with doing…. If you can’t afford to do your dreams, fine, but don’t lie to yourself and say, “Oh, I could do my dreams, but I’m going to choose to do this instead.”

00:29  You are now entering a new paradigm. So, here’s my issue. I wanted to find the answers to life’s biggest questions. Things like, how do I become happy and live with purpose? How do I make more money doing what I love, and what does it mean to be truly successful in all areas of life? My name is Josh Forti, @JoshForti on Instagram, and I ask life’s biggest questions and share the answers with you. My goal is to help you find purpose, happiness, and open your mind to new realms of possibility by helping you think differently about everything you do, know, and understand. On this podcast, we think different, we dream bigger, and we live in a world without limits. This is a new paradigm. Welcome to The Think Different Theory.

01:14  What’s up guys? Welcome back to another episode of The Think Different Theory. My name is Josh Forti, and I’ve gotta be honest with you guys. This is going to be an interesting episode. We’re gonna get super deep. I’ve been actually doing a little bit of crying recently, and… just in the last few hours or so, just doing some reflecting and really getting real with myself, and really getting honest with myself, and it’s been hard. And, I do this on somewhat of the regular, and I wanna… I wanna dive into this a little bit further here today, and talk about a really unattractive or unpopular topic that I believe is probably the most important thing, or certainly one of the most important things that anybody can do in their life. And that is the topic of really exploring the deep dark secrets and the deep dark parts of your mind and being just radically, radically honest with yourself.

02:18 And, I want… I want to talk about it because I don’t think a lot of people do. And this is something that’s very, very near and dear to my heart. And, something that I try to practice regularly and something that I literally recently, I mean, just like today, I just got done doing with myself, and share with you, some of what I’ve learned, and some of what I continue to do. I always say on this podcast that I try to be as open and honest as possible, and that I try to be real with you and that, you know, I bring one out… when we do guests, I bring on people that I want to talk to because I want to learn from them. But when I do these solo episodes, I just try to be open. And, this is one of those times when it’s gonna be… it’s gonna be on this particular episode.

03:01  I don’t know. I might even tear up. Hopefully not. Let’s dive in. So, recently I have been practicing the the art, or the or the… the practice, or the routine of self honesty and having hard conversations with myself. Now, I’ve done this periodically throughout my life, but it’s one of the things that I try to do pretty consistently. I believe that most of us, I know this is true for me and I’m probably going to refer back to me a lot in this, because this is true for my life. I don’t want to… in marketing or in… when you’re teaching things, a lot of times when you attack the human there, they feel attacked. And so I don’t want to… I don’t want to attack you and like call this out on you. I want to share my personal experience, and I hope that you can relate to this, because we’re all human and I know how the human mind works, and I know how we make decisions and whatnot, and what we tend to avoid.

03:48  And I think that this is very relatable to pretty much everyone, but one of the biggest things that held me back from success in my life was not willing to be honest with myself. And so as of recently, I recently wrote a book called Mindshift Playbook or it’s more of a playbook playbook’s not really the full books, about 65 pages long, talking about the five different parts of basically understanding the human mind, how to master your mindset, change your habits and break free. And in that I, I unveil and I talk about, and one of the things that I’ve talked about recently is my journey of failure when I hit the top and when I hit, well, my version of by peak. And when I had my mental breakdown and lost just a lot, I lost influence and I lost money and I lost happiness.

04:31 I mean I was very depressed, very sad, and it was the lowest of lowest of lowest points of my life. And I talk about that and if you’ve listened to this podcast at all, you understand that story, if not, go back and listen to it. But one of the things that I’ve been fascinated with recently is this concept of going back and figuring out why that happened. Why did I reach that point in my life at all? How did I ever even get to there? And what was interesting was that so many things that allowed me to get out of that spot that I had to do. So many things I had to do to get out of that spot were painstakingly difficult. I mean, going back and making things right. I had to go be ridiculously honest with myself, like so honest with the things that were the hardest and have these really hard conversations that were uncomfortable.

05:20  And I want to explain what that was in just a minute. Um, what I mean by that specifically, but I want to finish this thought first. This process of going and becoming a free person and mastering your mind requires you or required me to really go and know myself and know what had gotten me to this point and where I wanted to be and have identity shifts and just be radically open and transparent. And when you are at the bottom like I was and when I was there because everything collapsed around me. I was willing and able to be pretty open and honest with myself. And that was a huge blessing that I didn’t even realize was going on during that time. And so I look back now and I look at what caused me to get to where I’m at now. And then also I’m now studying what led me to my collapse or my downfall.

06:14   And I realized that I was not willing to have painful conversations with the dark deep parts of my mind. Now what do I mean by that? Well, in all parts of our life, not just in business, all of us have experiences and I had experiences in, you know, with relationships and with, um, you know, friendships with parents, with siblings, with clients, with everything where I was just afraid to go there and to talk about it. I was nervous. I thought if I just avoided this topic for long enough, it would just go away. Right? Like, Oh man, if, if somebody, uh, you know, isn’t mad at me for something. If I just didn’t talk about it for long enough, it would go away. If, if I needed to do something and I wasn’t fulfilling my end, if I didn’t, if I didn’t focus on it for very long, it would just, it would just go away.

07:00  And that’s not how it works. I mean there’s still there just because you don’t want to think about it or you don’t want to face it head on doesn’t mean that that’s not going to come up. And quite frankly, the longer that I put things off, the more power that they had over me in the more things would blow up in my face. I remember one time in specific, and it’s interesting because it’s true in all areas and a lot of times when I say these things, people automatically go to like, oh man are, do you lie about something or you know, do you know you screwed someone over or is that what he’s talking about? Like yes, but I’m also talking about just the day to day. So, for example, there was one time when I didn’t do anything wrong necessarily cause somebody owed me money and I was afraid to go ask them for money.

07:40  I don’t know, it’s like $3,000 or something. And I was afraid because I didn’t feel like I had done a very good job to deserve being paid and they had paid me their down payment. I had done my, you know, services or whatever and I just didn’t feel like I had done a good job. I hadn’t given it my best shot. I hadn’t really delivered on everything or whatever. So I was like really, really afraid to go ask for this money. And when you are afraid of something, that’s the sure sign that you’ve got to go explore it. And that’s what I didn’t do in my life up until I had my breakdown until I went and did this. I wasn’t willing to have conversations to say, Josh, you’re bad at somethings. Josh, you’ve screwed people over. Not intentionally. Sometimes you just say things and it hurts people.

08:21 And I don’t mean to screw people over with money. I mean screw people over in their lives, like offend them or be negative to them or treat people wrongly or do things that you shouldn’t have done. And I was so scared to go and do these things. And that’s what ultimately led to this downfall because so many things just kept stacking up the stacking up and stacking up and stacking up. And I just wanted to avoid it. Avoid, ignore, ignore, ignore, ignore, ignore, ignore, ignore and hope it goes away. Hope it goes away. And all of a sudden I just couldn’t take it anymore. And there was, and so I went and I started looking at these things. I started studying them and I’m like, okay, what led me to that point in my life? What were the things that I was not willing to go have conversations about and how do I go and have them now?

08:53 How do I face the difficult things? And one of the things that’s interesting that I learned is that when it comes to success and, and I will let you define success, however you want to define success. I don’t necessarily mean monetary success, but whatever, whatever it is that you want to go. Call success, money, success, influence, success, family success, whatever. Typically success in this aspect means more influence, more money, or you know, a successful business, something of that nature. The more success that you have, the bigger the circle you have, the more people that you affect. That’s just how, how it works. You’ve got to affect more people in order to have more success and if you have things in your life like I did that. I was like, you’re trying to hide. So there were things in my life back then that I was trying to hide.

09:41 I didn’t want people to know certain things about me. I didn’t want people to know about certain things in my past. I didn’t want people to know you. Areas where I had messed up, I tried to hide it all. Well, when you’re trying to hide something, just like I was, I was super nervous then and I was like, oh my gosh, what if people find out? Oh my gosh, like this. Well guess what? If you have more success now you’re even more worried. I was more stressed out. The more I grew, the more I grew, the more I grew because I’m just like, oh my gosh, now there’s a thousand people that could know then 10,000 people, like if I don’t know there’s 50,000 bills I can might, oh my God. You know? And so the more you have, the more stress that you bring onto yourself because you’re trying to hide these things.

10:19  And I had an interesting conversation on the podcast with a lady named Natalie Hodson. In fact, if you haven’t listened to the interview, I highly recommend you go back and check it out. And she said something that was very interesting to me and I absolutely love it. She said, when you own your stories, your deep dark secrets, I believe that they no longer have power over you. And I firmly believe this as well. When you are honest with yourself and you have tough conversations, you now own that now you have control over it. Now. You don’t have to be scared about it. Now. You don’t have to go and worry about someone finding out because you’ve dealt with it. You’ve been honest with yourself. You’re like, Yep, I was wrong there. Yup, I suck at X. Whatever it was. Yes I messed up here. Yes I did this.

11:08  Now people can yell at you all they want and they can bring it up to your attention. They can shout it everywhere. But guess what? Who Cares? You’ve dealt with it. You’re cool with it and you’re good with yourself and that’s all that matters, right? You’ve gone and you’ve made it right with the person that you’ve wronged or with it yourself. And now that doesn’t have control over you anymore. And the best example that I can think of this cause I like analogies. You know, you hear Gary Vaynerchuk talk about this a lot. You know in the movie eight mile a, m, and. M. It puts all of his weaknesses out there in a wrap so that nobody can rap. Like take him down in like a rap battle because all of these weaknesses are out there. And he talks about, yeah, I do live in a trailer park with my mom, right?

11:42  Like all the things that people would rap about him and make fun of him for. He just put it out there and now all of a sudden there’s someone rapped about it. They’re like, okay, like we already knew that. You know, and Gary, a very good job of this, I think you mean he just puts his weaknesses out there. He’s like, yeah, I know I’m struggling here. I know I struggle here. I know we struggle here. When you do that now, people can’t come after you. Now those things don’t hunt you in your life and anytime that you have a secret, it’s hunting. You and I had so many things in my life that haunted me during this time. I had so many things that I wasn’t willing to address when my brother died. Oh, actually, let me, let me back up. I want to be very clear.

12:25  Having hard conversations with yourself and being radically, radically, radically transparent and honest with yourself is not easy. It’s a hard conversation. That’s why it’s called the hard conversation. It’s hard. It is uncomfortable and I don’t know, we’ve all had hard conversations with people. If you haven’t, I don’t think you’re human, but like you know what that feeling is like when you’re trying to go, if you want to go apologize for something, you’ve got to make something great. If you’ve got to have a hard conversation with someone, you get anxiety, you get nervous, you get scared, it’s hard, you freak out and then you go and you do that. But even in that situation I want, I’m going to draw this comparison of how hard it really is. Even that hardest conversation with someone else, you still could potentially lie to them. You could not like, you can frame the narrative or even be honest, but like you can frame the narrative and you can be like, well, here’s why I did this and you can get them to believe certain things and you can frame it a certain way.

13:13  Then at the end of the conversation, they may be mad at you, but they may not. But if they’re, you know, they forgive you, they move on. Even if you didn’t quite tell the whole truth, even if he didn’t quite fix the problem, if they’re happy, we tend to be like, alright, they’re happy. I fixed the problem. Good, we’re good. It doesn’t mean necessarily the problems fixed. There might be things that were left there unsaid or unsettled and we’re just labeling it as it’s good, it’s fine, it’s fixed. And those are still hard conversations. And you know, even even when you’re dealing with someone else and you are completely open and honest with them and you know, you’re trusting them to, to forgive you or you’re trusting them to, you know, be like, you know what, it’s cool. Like we’ll move on, we’ll work through this or whatever.

13:48  Like do you have another person involved there that they have blame as well? They probably did something where some of it, maybe it was their fault and you know, maybe you kind of rest assured knowing that like, oh man, like I’m not the only one messed up here. There’s different things that happen. But when you’re honest with yourself, you can’t lie to yourself. I mean you can, you can try, but you deep down inside, you know, so when you’ve got these situations where you’re like, man, having a really bad boyfriend, I’ve been really bad girlfriend, I’ve been really bad. Husband, wife, Father, entrepreneur, leader, church member, friend, employer, employee, whatever it is. And you sit down, you have these honest conversations with Jeff. That’s hard. That’s really hard. And I remember this is recently and I tried to be open and honest and vulnerable here.

14:38  I remember recently, I might, for those of you that are maybe new here, maybe you don’t know this, but for those of you that volume, and you know this, back in March, my brother Kyle tragically passed away in a helicopter crash. And uh, those hard, that was really hard to go through. But it taught me something because when he died suddenly, and if you’ve never experienced the death of someone close to you, does it have a brother or a family member? It’s really, really, really hard to describe. It’s like nothing in the world that you’ve experienced. Like nothing can prepare you for it. It’s, it’s painstakingly difficult. But one of the things that happens when someone dies in your family, at least it happened to me, and I’ve heard this from many other people now that I’ve talked to about it, is that things in your life that are important start to show themselves more. It gives you a lot of really good perspective and I’m all about perspective.

15:37  And one of the honest conversations that I had to have with myself was that I hadn’t been a really good brother. I hadn’t been the best brother that I could have been, not only to Kyle, but to my family, to my other siblings and Kyle and I had a pretty good relationship. I mean, but even in that I went and I was like, man, there, there’s things I would have done differently. Yeah. But guess what? There are things that I can do differently right now about my other siblings. I’ve seven or I have six other siblings and I was like, man, I, I haven’t been a great brother to my brothers, haven’t been a great brother to my sisters. I haven’t always been the best child or son to my parents. I haven’t always been the best at that. I gotta go back and fix that.

16:25 That was a really hard conversation to have with myself. You got to admit that you suck at something that’s hard to do and so when it comes to having hard conversations, it’s something that no one likes to do, but it’s what brings ultimate freedom. Because the second that you go and you blame someone else or some thing else for something that’s happened or you try to avoid a hard conversation or hard topic in your life, you give that situation power. Going back to what Natalie had said, but when you own it, all of a sudden it doesn’t have power over you. Well guess what? When you don’t own it, it does have power over you, which means you’re not free, which means you’re in bondage, which means you are literally in a prison of your mind because you’re not willing to go and deal with these hard situations.

17:22 And when I realized that, and for me this came at a pretty lower point of my life, I realized that I was trapped in this prison of my own mind because I wasn’t willing to deal with hard conversations. I wasn’t free and I was blaming others. I was blaming circumstances that I claimed were outside of my control for things that I needed to go and go fix. And the freedom that came when I went and I took care of those things and it was hard. There were tears, there were me debating with myself back and forth for days and weeks when I didn’t want to go do something. Cause you got to admit that you’re wrong. And guess what? The other person involved doesn’t always admit that they were wrong. And you’ve got to be okay with that. Sometimes they’re not going to take responsibility for what they did.

18:13 But if you go and release it and you would dress it, you get freedom. And if they don’t, they’re in a bondage of their own mind. And that sucks for them and it’s awful. But you can’t control that. You can only control how you respond and it’s hard. But the level of freedom that I reached in my mind when I went and addressed things that were very difficult for me to address, it was like I was a completely different person. I can be happy now. I have freedom now you can take away like I found self worth, self identity. I became okay with who I was and you can go and you can blame and point the finger at everybody else and say, oh, it’s their fault. It’s all this. It’s all that or whatever. It’s not. If I, one of the expressions that I love, if you pointed someone and really look at pointing, there’s one finger pointed at them, but there’s also three fingers pointed back at you.

19:10  And when I, when I realized that I was like, man, I gotta fix myself and I got to work three times as hard on myself that I do on anybody else. And when I did that and I went back and made those naturally, I stopped blaming others. Naturally I start, stop pointing the finger at others because I let it go. Because like you became free. I didn’t live in this prison of my mind. I just became okay with myself and I went back and made those things right. It’s not easy. I want to continue to say that because it’s not, but so ridiculously important. There has never been a single conversation. I think that I’ve had with myself in a deep, dark place of my mind and exploring things in my mind where I had to go, be honest with myself about something that I enjoyed having.

19:49 I didn’t enjoy a single one of those conversations. I didn’t enjoy going back and making any of those things right. Not a single one, I don’t think. But I absolutely loved the outcome because every time I did it, I felt more and more free. Every time I did it, I felt more and more like, oh my gosh, I’m in control of my life. Oh my gosh, you can take away everything and I’m still me and I’m okay with that. I’m okay with that because I’m dealing with me. And you know, what’s interesting is that, um, you know, going back to the one finger at you, three, three people on another, I have some influence online. I have, I don’t know, give or take 100,000 people that follow me. And uh, what’s interesting is that I’ve noticed that there’s a lot of people that hate online and I’m not someone that typically shies away from controversy.

20:27  I, we’ll talk about politics, I will talk about religion, I’ll talk about issues that most people won’t talk about when I do that. There’s a lot of hate, a lot of fingers pointed at me. And when I started going into my own mind and when I started dealing with the root causes of issues that were so painstakingly difficult and had rough conversations with myself, all of a sudden I became with myself. And when all those haters online would go and yell at me, all of a sudden they didn’t bother me anymore. And I was like, why is that? And I started to realize that, guess what, that one finger at you or one finger at them, three fingers at you applies to them too. So for anything that someone is hating on you for online, anytime that someone’s calling you ridiculous things or accusing you of ridiculous things, just because they’re dealing with it, they’re struggling with it.

21:11  They’ve got three fingers pointing back at them for issues that they need to fix and they would rather blame you. It’s way easier to blame you or someone else than it is to take responsibility. I’ve done it. You’ve done it, we’ve all done it. But you have a choice and you have the ability to go out and change that. And most people aren’t willing to do that, which is why most people will be depressed and miserable and in a prison of their own mind for the rest of their lives. And that’s why they think different theories here. Cause I want to help free people that I’m not mad at these people. It’s really hard to be mad at someone when you know that the reason that they’re lashing out and doing what it is that they are doing is because they’re dealing with those own problems in their own mind.

21:45 It’s really hard to be an add to them because you feel bad for them, more than you are mad at them. And it sucks. And you know, and I think about that often when people get mad at me, I just go, man, you know, and I pray a lot. Let’s go. God just bless them, help them be free. Not For my sake, but for their sake. There’s always going to be haters. I can’t take care of them all, but I can pray for them and I can be like, you know what, I, I hope they, I hope they break free. Have those tough conversations with yourself. I’m not going to lie. It’s hard and it is the hardest thing you’ll do, but it’s also the most freeing thing that you do. So think about that. The other thing that, um, Natalie Hodson said in her interview, kind of going along with the hater thing, and this is something that I’ve never heard anybody say before, but I found myself kind of doing it, but I didn’t really realize I was doing it and I didn’t do it a whole lot.

22:32 And then she said it and it was like amazing and I was like, Whoa, I don’t know how you got to that, but I’m so glad I heard this from you. That’s why I say guys, like when I do these interviews with people, I’m sitting here learning just as much as you are. That’s the reason I have them on here. I mean, I really truly believe that. She said, Joshua, when somebody attacks me online, you know if they’re a hater and I ignore the hater, but if I see the comment and it triggers me, if I feel the need to respond, if it makes me upset and it makes me mad, I pause, I stop and I ask myself and I said, what did they say that triggered me? Because I need to go work on that. Why is what they said so offensive and why did it trigger me?

23:07  What is causing me to want to react and go and identify that and go and fix that about myself? And when you do that, all of a sudden you’re, you’re literally taking away the critic’s power. You’re taking away the power of negativity. Because you’re saying, what do I have to fix so that I don’t get bothered by that anymore and not listen to that anymore? Because listen, some haters, some critics, some people online, they have points. And so you look at that and you go, okay, do they have a point? Oh yeah, that triggered me. I got to go fix that in my own life. That’s hard because you want to just clap back at them and be like, hey, you know, no, no, no, no, no. I’m not like that at all. But is that really the best response? It’s, it’s really, really, really hard to do.

23:48  And so I, um, and I started doing that and I learned so much about myself and so much about where, you know, hate is stemming from in my own life and negativity and, and, and everything of that nature. And I just, I think that people really need to have honest conversation with themselves. And I kind of to the last kind of point with this that I want to touch on is I want people to have honest conversations with themselves about entrepreneurship and about business and about their careers. Because like you’ve got to do it not only with your life, and this is so important. I mean, this is much more important than your career. I would, I would venture to say you’ve gotta be honest with yourself about your relationships with your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, with your kids, if you have them with your friends, with your Ra, family, with friends.

24:29  I mean like with everybody. You’ve got to have honest relationships with your employees or employer, whoever you’re working for. But you’ve also have to have honest conversations with yourself about you and what you want out of life and why you’re choosing to do what the things that you do. And this goes right along with the question of why, but part of the reason that I reached the point in my life when I had that mental breakdown is because I was dishonest with myself about what I actually wanted out of life. And I had convinced myself that my dreams, the thing that really, really excited me wasn’t that important and that money was more important than that. And one of the things that’s happening in this social media, online world that we have here today is that there is massive, massive, massive opportunity. I mean, there’s more opportunity now than there ever has been before.

25:13  And so it used to be that when you build a business, like entrepreneurship wasn’t sexy. Entrepreneurship meant you were starting a business and you were going to turn a profit for two or three years. You weren’t going to make us sick. You were gonna make six figures for like five years plus, right? Like, I mean, that was a big deal. And now you can make six figures in like a month or six months or a year getting online. No problem. There’s opportunity everywhere. But because of that, people also get distracted by fast money and people want to go and they choose to not be honest with themselves about what they want. And they choose to justify things that are gonna make them money and convince themselves that that’s what they should be doing in life because they don’t want to be honest with the fact that they are broke or that they don’t like having money or that they want certain things.

25:55 If you want to go be super successful owning an agency, that’s fine. Go and do that. But if you don’t want to own an agency and you’re doing that just to make money, be honest with yourself about that and be like, Hey, I’m not doing this because it’s what I love to do. I’m doing it because I want to make money. And I didn’t do that. I had dreams, I had goals. In fact, one of the reasons that it took me so long to start this podcast is because I’ve wanted to start a podcast for a long time, but I felt like nobody would listen. And I felt like it was stupid. I felt like I didn’t have anything to say. I felt like, man, this sa, I don’t know, like, I don’t know. Maybe I’m kind of smart. Maybe I’m not. But I, I don’t know.

26:33  No one’s gonna listen and I don’t have the money right now to go and do this. Like I got to go. I Dunno, I got to go do this other thing. I’ve wanted to start a podcast for a while, but I didn’t because I would lie to myself and I downplayed my goals. I downplayed my, my desires and my passions, and I convinced myself that I wanted an agency and that agency was the way to go. Or I wanted to sell cores. And the selling course was the way to go. I wasn’t honest with myself and I had to sit down and have this ridiculously hard conversation with myself that was like, Josh, why are you doing this? You’re, you’re telling people you’re lying not only to people, you’re lying to yourself. You’re saying that this is what you want, but it’s not. You’re saying like, this is so awesome and amazing, but you’re doing it just so that you can make money and get out of it.

27:19 And I mean, I have an agency now, but it’s not. My focus is to fund the podcast to fund my dreams. I have no problem with doing it. If you can’t afford to do your dreams, fine, but don’t lie to yourself and say, oh, I could do my dreams, but I’m going to choose to do this instead. No. If the reason you can’t, we’ll go pursue your dreams right now is because you don’t have any money. Fine. Who Cares? But be honest about it. If you’re scared to go chase your dreams because you’d be more comfortable chasing your dreams if you had 25,000 or 50,000 or a hundred thousand dollars in the bank, fine. But be honest with yourself about that. Most people aren’t. Most people would rather, they’re too embarrassed. They’d rather go and lie to themselves and get comfortable or whatever, and then because they weren’t honest, guess what happens?

28:02 They never go back to their dreams because they’re too embarrassed to quit what they’re doing and to take a pay cut and to go through the process of changing. Building a business takes a lot of focus, a lot of energy, and to walk away from a business that you’ve built to go do something that’s gonna pay you less money and take a long time to build is hard. Most people never get to that, but if you can just be honest with yourself going in and say, my goal is not to build an agency longterm, fine. Now you can go and do this. Guys, this is what I did with think different theory. My goal would think different theory was to go and build this amazing podcast and community around it, but I was also honest to myself that said, you know what? If I want to do this right, I don’t want to monetize it right away.

28:45 It’s going to cost me a lot of money. I don’t have the, the ability, I don’t have enough money in savings right now to be able to fund one or two or three years of podcasting and not bringing another income before I start making money with a podcast and I firmly expect the podcast not to make money for awhile. It costs me money. I’m negative when it comes to the podcast. So what did I do? I was honest with myself and I said, you know what? I’m going to start vivid with learning in my agency with a business partner. I’m going to design it to sell. I’m going to have an exit plan. I’m not in this agency because I love it. I’m in it because I want to learn. I want to learn what it takes to build a real business. I want to learn what it takes to go out and do those things and then I want to sell it and I might sell it in a month.

29:23 I might sell it in six months. I might sell it in three years. I don’t know when that time is, but it’s going to happen when I’m ready. And I’ve been honest with myself about that and I’m not trying to, and I tell people that openly. I’m not trying to fake it and be like, I’m going to try to grow this $10 million agency is gonna be awesome. We’re going to be the greatest agency. Know what am I saying? I’m saying, listen, I’m building an agency. I wanted to do good work. I want to serve amazing, mean I wanted to serve our customers with amazing customer service and experience. I want to learn what that takes while I build my dream. And then as soon as my dream is self-sustaining and I can get out of it, I’m out. I’m going to my dream and that’s fine.

30:00 I don’t have the money. I’m not filthy rich. I’ve got plenty of money in savings to be able to live for awhile. But I want to blow up a podcast. I want to really go and do this right. Takes honesty. Most people are willing to have conversations with themselves about why they are angry about why they’re, why they’re, uh, sad, why they’re depressed, why they’re not happy with their career, why they’re not happy with things. And if they would just be honest with them. And it’s so uncomfortable and it’s hard to change because you’re not only changing yourself most of the time. There’s other people involved. If you want a company and you make a change, you’re affecting employees or contractors or clients or business partners. If you make a change in your personal life, you’re affecting family relationships, things of that nature, like change affects more than you and when your going through personal change, other people are affected by it.

30:46  So in the immediate future it seems easier to just ignore it. It seems easier to say no, it’s somebody else’s problem that I’m mad. It’s somebody else’s problem that I’m not happy. It’s somebody else’s problem, that I’m this or that or whatever, but it never works out that way. It’s always going to lead you down a path of being in a prison of your own mind because if you’re not willing to just be honest with yourself, then you’re not going to be able to be honest with other people either and people are going to see through that eventually. It might be good at hiding it. You can hide it for a while, but it’s always going to show through to the ones that are closest to you if you just take care of it now. Yes, it is embarrassing to make a shift. Yes. It is embarrassing to admit that you’re wrong.

31:25 When I shut down some of my core stuff, when I stopped my 365 days to seven figures, when I stopped a lot of these projects that I started very publicly. Okay. It’s like guys, my 365 days, seven figures. And for those of you that don’t know that that was, I had this thing is, I don’t know, probably two years ago now, it was two years ago. Um, I started, this ad was over two years. I failed now. Um, I started this thing where I said I was going to live stream my way to $1 million. I was going to live stream every single day. One video, I was gonna call it 365 days to 2 million bucks and like 170 some days in is when I was getting ready to have my mental breakdown and collapsed. I stopped, I quit and I was like, I can’t do this anymore.

32:00 And I publicly had to stop. There were thousands of people following that. Like I got over a thousand views on every video. Some of them got two, three, 4,000 views. Okay. And all of a sudden now I’m publicly announcing that I’m quitting and changing and doing this because I’ve got to fix myself first. You know how many people thought that I quit because I wasn’t going to be able to make $1 million? You know how many people thought I was going to quit because that, you know, I was going to be a failure and I didn’t want the embarrassment later. Lots. It sucked. It was awful. But you know what? For the last year, I’ve never had anybody mention that to me. Nobody calls me a failure about that. Maybe some people think it, but it hasn’t affected things now. It affected a lot of things. Right? When I changed, it was hard.

32:37  It was embarrassing. It sucked. There’s the best thing for me because I was honest with myself and I realized that I wasn’t after 1 million bucks when I set that goal, I had terribly messed up. I’m terribly messed up, mine a terribly messed up priorities and that was really, really difficult. That’s why I just want to encourage you to have these conversations. Item the day I sat down and I just, there’s tears in my eyes. I was crying cause I was like, man, I got to go fix some things and I’m constantly doing this and you know, it’s easy for someone like me to go and, and you know, whatever your skill set is, whatever you do tend to do pretty well. We tried to tend to justify it so it’s easy for me to sit here and this is one of the thoughts that popped into my mind today.

33:14  I’m like, Yo Josh, listen man, you’ve been doing this for over a year now. You’ve been constantly making things right. You’ve been having these hard conversations. You’re way further along than most people are. You don’t have to go and do this anymore, right? Like you’ve done it for a long time. Like you’re better than most people. You’re, you’re this or like at this than most people, right? I’m not at better than anybody, but I had to be honest with myself and go, no, I still gotta go fix these things every single day. Make myself better, make myself better, make myself better. If you don’t follow me on Instagram @JoshForti Kirsch should go follow me over there every single day I posted a picture. It’s great day to make sure it’s a great interchange. Change your life for the better. On my Instagram story. Why? Cause I got to remind myself every day.

33:56  Same thing with these conversations. They’re hard, they don’t get easier. They might become a routine, but it doesn’t mean the pain’s not there. I got to go make things right with my family. I got to go make things right with friends. I got to go make things right back in my past before I even got started in entrepreneurship because those things are now effecting me and you go down this rabbit hole and all of a sudden you start changing all these things and then this little thing happens. You start realizing that all those things you used to have hold over you. They no longer do, and all of a sudden your mind becomes a little bit more free and a little bit more free and a little bit more free and all of a sudden you go, man, if I fix pain, if I go through pain, I’m going to feel better.

34:33  If I go through pain of fixing myself, I’m going to get better. I’m going to be more free at the end of it. And all of a sudden you start to be like, okay, where can I fix myself more? And I just, I have such respect for people that are honest with themselves and I, my heart breaks for the people that, that don’t understand this. And it’s the reason I’m having this conversation with you now. Most people don’t get this. It doesn’t make them bad people. It just means that they’re trapped in their own mind. I’ve been, I’ve been pretty open about my, uh, maybe not open enough actually. Well here, here it goes. I’ve been pretty open about my use of, um, of different types of drugs to increase spirituality and to increase self actualization. Whether it be you know, psychedelics or even marijuana in, in certain doses or amounts can really bring out a lot of awareness in you.

35:22  If you’ve never, if you’ve never done it, don’t, don’t hate on me for it. If you choose not to do it, I respect that. Right? It’s not for everyone. I get that. But if you’ve never done it yet, it’s impossible for you to really understand because especially on a psychedelic experience, it’s unlike anything you’ve ever, ever, ever, ever experienced, ever in your entire life, ever. And no matter how much you read about it, it’s just, it’s mind boggling. Lee is an experience. Like you can’t even get described, but it’s not for everyone. And in fact, if you’re not in a good mental state, I urge you to please stay away from it. You’ve got to be in a good mental state. You’ve gotta be in a good mental state if you do a psychedelic, and even, even weed and marijuana, if you’re super depressed. Yes, it makes you like, brings out happy vibes and everything like that.

36:03  Like even bad, I would say stay away from, unless you know you’re doing it in an appropriate setting. Um, I just, I need to clarify that. I’m not going to do it every time, but I need to say that just so that people know very much. I’m not advocating that everybody go out and take psychedelics or smoke weed, like I’m not opposed to these things in any, any way, but there is an appropriate time to do them and there’s an appropriate time to not do them. Right. Um, and it’s not like I’m tripping psychedelics every day, but I have done it and not too long ago I was in a state of reflecting and meditating and being thankful to God or whatever. And, and I was, I was high. And, um, I remember sitting there on my couch just crying and being so thankful and being so grateful for understanding how powerful, having hard conversations with yourself and being honest and exploring deep, dark parts of your mind is, it’s so freeing when you understand how powerful that is.

37:02  And I remember just crying and saying like, you know, God, I’m a Christian. I’m a believer and I said, God, just thank you. Thank you so much for giving me these experiences to go through and, and make it. I don’t mean that the psychedelic experiences are the, the drugs, Raiders, I mean the, the experiences to know and the knowledge to know and to go and learn to have these hard conversations with myself because I’m like what I’ve been able to do and the freedom that I’ve been able to have and the identity shifts that I able to have and being okay with myself and the person that I’ve been able to become because I’ve had these things. It’s been the most life changing, freeing experience in my whole entire life. And it, it broke my heart in that moment because I, I remember sitting there going, there are so many people that don’t do this.

37:40 There are so many people that don’t understand this. There’s so many people that literally think that if they just ignore it and avoid it, and like I used to be like, it doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means that you’re trapped, but these people don’t understand it. And just broke my heart. And I was like, I’ve got to go change this. And it’s a huge reason for the thing. Different theory. You guys know. It’s, I think different theories for those that want more out of life and want to dream bigger and think bigger and live a life without limits. But it’s the whole purpose of thing. Different theory is to ask the right questions and have conversations that matter. And this is a conversation that matters. Freeing your mind is a conversation that matters. Having a hard conversation with yourself as a conversation that matters.

38:15 It is a conversation that is so radically important and will change your life more than almost anything else. And, um, I just really hope people understand that because it will fundamentally change your life. And so I just remember sitting there being so thankful and so grateful and, and being in tears and I’m, I’m, uh, one of the things that I don’t think people understand about me is that I’m actually an empath. And it means I feel things and an empath, if you go and like actually study what an empath is and you know what they’re able to do and what not, like an empath is very, very much able to feel the pain of other people. And I know a lot of people don’t believe that about me. They’re like, oh, Josh, you’re a heartless, Yada, Yada, whatever. And I, you know, I used to be right, like I used to be a lot more heartless than I am now, but I, I can feel the pain of other people when I see other people going through pain.

38:59 It really, really, really negatively affects me. And it’s the reason that like, it’s really hard for me to be around a lot of negative situations for awhile because the feel the pain of other people and I just want to help people so much. And I remember sitting there in this state, and once again, if you’ve never experienced altercations of the mind and things like that, it’s kind of hard to explain. But I went and I was in that state. I remember crying. I remember just feeling this overwhelming burden of wanting to help people and wanting people to be free. And I’ve had this realization in my life that I am not able to help everyone in the world. I can’t. There’s 6 billion, 7 billion people, however many people there are in this world, and each person is called to help people in their own way. Some people are called to help the homeless.

39:48 Some people are called to help you know, immigrants, if we want to go there. Some people are called to to help really rich people that are miserable with their lives. Some people are called to help the, the single moms of the world. Some people are called to, you know, to help the masses. Some people are called to help one singular individual. Some people are, are called to, you know, witness to, you know, certain other religions and you know, like whatever. So everybody has their own unique thing. I believe we’re all called in some way to help people in some way. I truly believe that and my way. And the thing, and the reason that I feel like I’ve been put on this earth is to help people that have the ability to go out and help themselves recognize that they can. Because most people think that they can’t.

40:33 Most people are in this prison and they live in poverty, not even in financial poverty, although sometimes that is the case, but poverty, a poverty mindset and they’re trapped and they’re sad and they’re depressed and they’re ungrateful and they have no purpose because they don’t understand that they have control of their mind. They don’t understand that if they were willing to have hard conversations that it would help them. So tremendously ignoring conversations is like a drug you take ahead of it. It feels good if for a second blaming somebody else feels good for a second, but it doesn’t take care of the root issue. Right. And I just, I really, really am passionate about that and I want to help people. And I just remember as I sat there, I was just is overwhelming emotion of like, I’ve got to go help people understand this.

41:18  I’ve got to go help people get out and that’s where we’re going. What does this podcast about? It’s about thinking bigger. It’s about asking the right questions. It’s about having conversations that matter. It’s about thinking different. Who’s this for? It’s for people that want more out of life. It’s for people that want to be free. It’s one of people that want to go out and create their own reality and make the world a better place and go fall in love with life. That’s who this is for. For people that want the highest level of success, however they define success, you know, and where are we going? Well, that’s where we’re going. We’re going to go free people. And when you join the movement, when you subscribe to the podcast, when you leave a rating and review and you join the email list, when you buy a tee shirt, when you’re here, that is what we’re doing.

42:01 We’re going and helping people break free and become the best version of themselves. Teaching them about truth and helping them fall in love with life so that we can make the world a better place. And I firmly, firmly believe in that. Anyway, I know this was a longer episode. I don’t normally do solo episodes this long, but I think this was a very, very, very important episode and I’d get got through without crying, which is good cause I’m a little bit emotional right now. I’m an empath. Like I said, I feel people’s pain and I, I do want to see everyone succeed and uh, yeah. Anyway, that’s all I’ve got for you is this, if this episode was helpful, please, um, if this spoke to you, please do me a huge favor. It’s take a screenshot of it posted on Instagram, tag me in the, you know, tag me and tag me in Instagram story.

42:44  Tag me in an Instagram post, tag me on Facebook, tag me in wherever you’re sharing and I want to see it add Josh forties by username everywhere. I want to see this. I want to know, like, I want to hear from you. I’ll, I love receiving your guys’ DMZ. I love it. And I want to know if this resonated with you. And so I’m, I appreciate you guys. I love you. Seriously. From the bottom of my heart. Go and have conversations that actually matter. Go out there and have conversations with yourself that are painful. Explore painful parts of your mind. Explore painful things and scenarios that you don’t want to do. If you’re afraid to go think about something or talk about something or don’t want him to run into someone because you’re afraid of them, that is what you need to be focusing on because that’s what’s going to bring freedom.

43:23 That’s what’s holding you back from getting there. That’s all I’ve got for you as always, hustle, hustle, God bless. Do not be afraid to think different because those of us that think different are going to be the ones that change the world. I love you all and I will see you on the next episode. Take it easy for them. Peace.

43:40 Yo, what’s up guys? You’ve been listening to The Think Different Theory with myself, Josh Forti, which I like to call, “A new paradigm of thinking”, and real quick, I got a question for you. Did you like this episode? If you did, I want to ask a huge favor. See, the biggest thing that helps this podcast grow, and that will spread this message of positivity and making the world a better place, is if you leave a review, a rating and subscribe to the podcast. What that does is, it basically tells the platforms that this is out on, that you like my stuff, and that I’m doing something right. So if you could take like three seconds out of your day and subscribe, leave a rating, and a review, I would be forever grateful for you. Also, I want to hear from you. I want to know your feedback, your ideas, and your questions for future episodes. So be sure to hit me up on Instagram in the DM @JoshForti or via email