Think Different Theory

Natalie Hodson’s Mom Stole Her Identity, But She Went On To Build a $5,000,000 Business.

WHAT IS THIS EPISODE ABOUT?

Natalie is the CEO of “NAH Inc”, a company devoted to a healthy lifestyle for women, and has reached millions around the world!

Her mom stole her identity at just 19 years old, and she was faced with a tough decision… After blogging for over a decade, and going through a divorce that FORCED her to take action, Natalie built a thriving business that has helped millions of women and made over $5,000,000! For my Entrepreneurs out there, she has sold over $5,000,000 in EBOOKS! (yes, low ticket ebooks!) She’s one of the most genuine and kindest people I’ve ever met, and I am honored to have her back on the show for season 2. In this episode, I sit down with Natalie for an hour-long interview!

WHERE CAN I LEARN MORE?

Be sure to follow me on the below platforms:

Subscribe to the podcast on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Stitcher.

Instagram @joshforti

Facebook

YouTube

WHEN DID IT AIR?

February 5th, 2020

EPISODE LINKS:

Be sure to follow me on Instagram @joshforti

You can find the transcripts and more at www.thinkdifferenttheory.com/172

You can find this episode plus all the previous episode here.

Be sure to grab a copy of The Mindshift Playbook here

If you haven’t already, please rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts!

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Disclaimer: The Transcript Is Auto-Generated And May Contain Spelling And Grammar Errors

Intro (00:00:03):
You‌ ‌are‌ ‌now‌ ‌entering‌ ‌a‌ ‌new‌ ‌paradigm.‌ ‌So, ‌here’s‌ ‌my‌ ‌issue.‌ ‌I‌ ‌wanted‌ ‌to‌ ‌find‌ ‌the‌ ‌ answers‌ ‌to‌ ‌life’s‌ ‌biggest‌ ‌questions.‌ ‌Things‌ ‌like,‌ ‌how‌ ‌do‌ ‌I‌ ‌become‌ ‌happy‌ ‌and‌ ‌live‌ ‌with‌ ‌purpose?‌ ‌ How‌ ‌do‌ ‌I‌ ‌make‌ ‌more‌ ‌money‌ ‌doing‌ ‌what‌ ‌I‌ ‌love,‌ ‌and‌ ‌what‌ ‌does‌ ‌it‌ ‌mean‌ ‌to‌ ‌be‌ ‌truly‌ ‌successful‌ ‌in‌ ‌ all‌ ‌areas‌ ‌of‌ ‌life?‌ ‌My‌ ‌name‌ ‌is‌ ‌Josh‌ ‌Forti,‌ ‌@JoshForti‌ ‌on‌ Instagram,‌ ‌and‌ ‌I‌ ‌ask‌ ‌life’s‌ ‌biggest‌ ‌ questions‌ ‌and‌ ‌share‌ ‌the‌ ‌answers‌ ‌with‌ ‌you.‌ ‌My‌ ‌goal‌ ‌is‌ ‌to‌ ‌help‌ ‌you‌ ‌find‌ ‌purpose,‌ happiness,‌ ‌and‌ ‌ open‌ ‌your‌ ‌mind‌ ‌to‌ ‌new‌ ‌realms‌ ‌of‌ ‌possibility‌ ‌by‌ ‌helping‌ ‌you‌ ‌think‌ ‌differently‌ ‌about‌ ‌everything‌ ‌you‌ do,‌ ‌know,‌ ‌and‌ ‌understand.‌ ‌On‌ ‌this‌ ‌podcast,‌ ‌we‌ ‌think‌ ‌different,‌ ‌we‌ ‌dream‌ ‌bigger,‌ ‌and‌ ‌we‌ ‌live‌ ‌in‌ ‌a‌ ‌ world‌ ‌without‌ ‌limits.‌ ‌This‌ ‌is‌ ‌a‌ ‌new‌ ‌paradigm.‌ ‌Welcome‌ ‌to‌ ‌The‌ ‌Think‌ ‌Different‌ ‌Theory

Josh (00:00:47):
So, welcome back to another live stream episode of Think Different Theory Season two. Guys, I am so, so excited about today’s interview. For the second today in a row, actually, let me… let me hit this. Let me send… Send this out. The second day in a row, we have a repeat guest. Someone that’s been on before, who’s absolutely incredible and amazing. She is one of the kindest, most amazing people I’ve ever met in my entire life, and we’ve… I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know her a little bit over the past, gosh, it’s been about a year or so. Her name is Natalie Hodson, and I’m going to bring her on because, I could… I could tell her story. I could introduce her. I could do these big huge long intro, or I could just bring her on because she’s absolutely amazing. So, I’m Natalie Hodson, welcome to Think Different Theory.

Natalie (00:01:26):
Hi.

Josh (00:01:26):
Thank you so much for coming back for season two.

Natalie (00:01:28):
Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for inviting me. You and your audience are amazing, Josh. And, for you guys watching, leave any questions that you have, cause we love seeing those come in, and thank you so much for this opportunity to have me here. It’s awesome.

Josh (00:01:39):
Absolutely. Absolutely. I appreciate you coming on. It’s a… it’s a pleasure as always. How have you been? It’s been a minute since we’ve talked. Let’s see. It was… I think it was what, October of last year?

Natalie (00:01:49):
Yeah.

Josh (00:01:49):
I can’t remember if that’s how long it’s been, or if it was before that, because I traveled during that time.

Natalie (00:01:54):
That’s right.

Josh (00:01:54):
Yeah. So…

Natalie (00:01:56):
I think what happened is, I asked you for some advice and you were in Hawaii, and you guys, Josh is not this like, just nice person online. He’s like that in real life too. He was in Hawaii, and it was his time zone. It was late, and he was like, “Yeah. I’ll hop on a call with you.” And we ended up talking forever. I mean, seriously, that was awesome of you, Josh. Thank you.

Josh (00:02:13):
Absolutely. Well, I’m glad… I’m glad it helped out, and we were able to get it done. Yeah… I love how…

Natalie (00:02:16):
So, what’s new? Sorry.

Josh (00:02:20):
What’s new in your world? What is… What is new in your world now? It’s been a minute. It’s been a minute since we’ve talked.

Natalie (00:02:23):
Oooh. Lots of things are new. So, I mean, you guys know me because of all the business stuff, and we can jump into that. But one thing I always joke about is I’m a secret prepper, but I’m like not joking. So like…

Josh (00:02:35):
Like gym’s day?

Natalie (00:02:35):
Yeah. Yup. Exactly. So, I live in a really nice suburban neighborhood, and we just got chick… I have a huge backyard and a huge garden. It’s not that big of a backyard, but I have a huge garden. I planted 13 fruit trees, and we just got chickens. Well, we got chickens two months ago. So, I thought I got four chicks. I mean, I did get four checks. I thought they were hens. Well, two days ago, I woke up to a cock-a-doodle-doo, and one of my… shes was actually a he. So this morning, I’m like, “My neighbors are going to kill me.” So, I gotta figure out where this rooster is going to go. It’s going to go to a good home.

Josh (00:03:11):
So you’re in the process of figuring that out.

Natalie (00:03:13):
Yeah. Yeah. So anyways, just as a side, no on a personal thing that’s kind of going on,

Josh (00:03:17):
but hold on, I have a question. You said you’re in an urban neighborhood or a suburban neighborhood?

Natalie (00:03:22):
Yeah, just like a normal, we live in a col-de-sac, just a normal neighborhood. And so I asked all my neighbors first if they’d be okay with it. But honestly, chickens are quieter than dogs unless you accidentally get a rooster and get a rooster. Right. Because I grew up on a farm. Okay. That’s right.

Josh (00:03:35):
Yeah. I have raised hundreds and hundreds of chickens.

Natalie (00:03:38):
and I know how, and it’s hard to tell. I mean, when they’re chicks, it’s hard to tell. And then they don’t Crow until they’re like six months old, which now he’s six months old. And I was like, Oh man. So that’s kind of the situation there, but everything else is good. So we’re gonna, I called the humane society, they’re going to help me very home and we’ll.

Josh (00:03:55):
look at that. Yeah, you being nice, us farmers, I think we would have probably taken care of in a different way. So I know we’re glad that you’re being super nice to him. That, that’s good. That’s good. And you’re on a Boise, right?

Natalie (00:04:08):
I am. So I live in Boise, Idaho. So I actually grew up in, I was born in New Jersey. I’m the oldest of 10 kids. Isn’t that crazy? So I have five brothers hunting and fishing and all that kind of stuff. And then, um, I went to college here, ran cross country and track and then after school I was all over. So we were in Pittsburgh, DC, Texas. And then about five years ago I moved back and I love Idaho. I, I know when you see me online, you know, it’s like, Oh this, you know, this blonde girl. But I actually love roughing it up in the mountains and that’s kinda my, my place and I get overwhelmed with work. I kinda try to disappear into the mountains and do some backpacking.

Josh (00:04:41):
I’ve seen that from you. We talked about that briefly on the last episode as well. Kind of some of that in there. But like I followed some of your stuff and like have, I know people that know you as well and we’ve talked a little bit and that’s how you unwind.

Natalie (00:04:55):
It’s how I unwind. Yeah. And I think that everybody’s thing is going to be different, right? Maybe somebody likes to go for a run or maybe somebody likes to go to the ocean. I think for me, especially for those of us, like I have a hard time turning, turning it off, turning my brain off. Yeah. And so, and I and I have a hard time not working. You know, I work really hard. I think for those of us that have that really tough work ethic, I’m going somewhere where you’re kind of forced to shut it all off. One isn’t helpful for me. And two, it just, it just puts your mind in a different place. It makes you really grateful. Gratitude, at least for me, you know, you look at like the beauty of the mountains and how the ecosystems all work together and it helps me recognize, okay there’s different seasons for different times and that’s I think how our businesses work, how personalize work and that’s how it works in nature. So a lot of times I turned at nature for like a mental reset, you know, and just being alone where there’s no other people, I’ll go by myself a lot at the time. And it just gives you clarity, you know, clear mind to think. So that’s like, that’s my jam. But people are always different and they’re like, Natalie, you go into the mountains by yourself. I’m like, Oh, you don’t know, you don’t know me that well.

Josh (00:06:01):
My whole thing with the mountains, I see, I like the mountains. Um, I grew up actually I lived in the mountains when I was young. Um, for probably a year and a half or so. Um, like up, up little ski resort town, a few hundred people, maybe, maybe a few thousand at most, about 45 minutes outside of LA. Um, my whole thing with the mountains is that usually it’s just so far away from anything convenient and you know what I mean? And like, yeah, I know you go up there to unwind it. Unplug, which is awesome and something that I need to do more of. But I also know like you help hosted retreats up there, didn’t you? How did that go? Because I remember well last time cause last time we were talking about that you were like, what was it Myron golden who was like, you must do a high, who was it that was telling you that? Yeah, Myra. Like, raise your prices and do more, and you sold like, what was it, like a quarter million bucks or something like that in 48 hours or,

Natalie (00:06:48):
yeah, it was insane. It was an amazing retreat. Um, right now we’re, we don’t have a date scheduled for another one. I, um, I, I kind of go back and forth between the main, the mountains being my place to just kind of reset and then also like, uh, wanting to get other people to experience that too. So I think what we may do in the future is keep that only for people that are in like my business coaching program. So as a benefit for them for the high higher ticket stuff that they get to come. But we’re not, we’re not 100% sure on that yet. So I just, I dunno. I love it. You know what’s crazy about all the outdoor stuff though, Josh, and I know you’ve, you get some of this on your page I see, is um, the polarity, uh, that it attracts.

Natalie (00:07:31):
So when I, so part of the way I grew up, I told you I want a 10. And so we grew up, I mean for a long time kind of living off the land, we had a massive one acre garden and we would hunt and we would fish. And that was just, that was the food we ate for the rest of the year. And so for me, I respect that process so much. I love animals, I love animals. But, um, I also recognize that there’s a cycle of life. And for me it’s not just, I mean there’s a lot of time you go out, you scope, you hike sometimes like way into the back country. And then if you’re lucky enough to get an animal, you carry it on your back, you quarter it and it’s a hundred pounds per trip. And you know, and we pray over the animal.

Natalie (00:08:10):
And, um, so a couple of years ago I was just, I was really proud and I’d gotten an elk that year and a deer, and I was, I actually scoped myself. I’d make up on right now. So you can’t see, but I, there’s, you know, a kick on the gun and I was so excited. But, um, I did get the buck. But, um, anyways, so I posted that picture on my Facebook page and I have never seen anything like it. I got, I probably lost over a thousand followers. I got called the CU word more times than I ever wanted, even count. And I had actual death threats. I had an actual person that came and said, next time you’re innocently hiking in the woods, I’m going to pull my gun out and shoot you and your family like you did to that poor elk, which I don’t really like the sweetest, kindest person I’ve ever met in my life.

Josh (00:08:59):
That’s crazy.

Natalie (00:09:00):
Well, and you know, it was so interesting cause and then I, I just, you know, I went down the rabbit hole and I looked at their profile and they have pictures of them eating cheeseburgers and stuff and, but so I had to kind of take a step back and I thought about deleting the post because it was emotionally hard for me to get all that hate. Um, but I started to recognize, well two things. One, most of the hate actually came from people in other countries. So I had a little bit of empathy because I had to recognize, you know, we’re so lucky in Idaho here for example, 70% of our state is public. And so we can just go up into the mountains where in other countries there isn’t public land, they don’t have gun rights. So the idea of them even having a gun, it’s like this foreign thing.

Natalie (00:09:38):
And so I had to have a little empathy there. And then I also had to recognize, you know, this is a part of who I am and I’m either gonna I know repels a strong word, but I’m either going to attract people who are like me and it’s, I’m okay with repelling people that aren’t, that are, that aren’t think that don’t think the way I think. And it’s not that I’m mean or cruel or unkind. I just had to get to the place in my head where, you know, and now what I do. And I, you know, I say all the time I get, it’s, it’s crazy, Josh, like you, I’m a nice person. I’m always like, why are people so mean to me online? And I get mean or hateful comments or emails every single day. And, um, I used to really bother me. You know, it’s kinda like you can get, um, a hundred nice comments, but that one mean one, it’s like in your head, it’s like if you’re, if you’re, if you got your job and you get a job review and they see so many good things and then there’s the one area that you can improve on and like, that’s all you think about, you know?

Josh (00:10:34):
Right.

Natalie (00:10:35):
And so what I had to, um, I learned this process that’s really helped me is I, I recognize one, um, usually hurt people, hurt people. And so a lot of times when people are critical or mean to you, it’s so much. It’s usually much more about them. And what they’re struggling with. And then you even, yeah. Um, and I also learned you really can’t change people’s minds and usually if you, cause my natural instinct is to want to like keyboard warrior back and be like, you don’t know my story.

Josh (00:11:04):
You know, or even be nice about it. Yeah. Go back and be like, well, here’s why, but here’s why, but here’s why. And like, bring context round it because you have this, at least I’m this way and I’m sure you are as well. But like I feel like if people just knew me, do you want the office at all? Oh yeah. Okay. So pay em on there and she’s like, I’m a nice person. If people just knew me, I don’t like people hating me and she’s like, I feel like, what was it? Even if terrorists, like even if I got to sit down with it, like even the terrorist would think I’m a nice person. Right? Yeah.

Natalie (00:11:31):
That’s how I, that’s how I think too. You know, I’m like, if people knew me, but, um, so now I just, you know, I don’t respond. It usually just fuels their fire. And I’ve learned what I’ve learned to do actually is try to pinpoint what inside me that their comments triggered. Right? So like what was it, what was the insecurity I had that got triggered? Or what was, what about their comment triggered me? And I just try to sit with that for a minute and process that and wrestle with it. And now I just, I think I’m for the awareness and I move on.

Josh (00:12:03):
I have a question for you though, actually about this. I actually want to get back to that thing because I want to talk about, I have questions for you about identity and about belief. Um, cause I know you’re big into that and so am I. um, do you know Katie Richardson? Yeah, I love Kate. So I just hired her as my coach and Oh my gosh, she has blown my freaking mind, right? Like just incredible. But, um, I was having a conversation with my mom. So my mom and I have a very interesting relationship. My mom and I, I mean I love my mom and we’re very close, especially after the death of my brother. Like I mean that just so my mom is naturally my mother, but there are certain things that we talk about and um, I, we talk a lot about what I post and as you know, I’m a pretty polarizing person.

Josh (00:12:47):
I am not afraid. I don’t intend to be. Honestly, I just, I think that a lot of people are whizzes and like won’t stand up for what they believe in or there’s like, like they just need to be told the truth. Right. And so, I mean, I’m pretty vocal about my support of Trump and his policies. I’ve been, you know, pretty straight forward about like, Hey, if you’re broke, it’s your fault. Yeah. I mean I’m a very personal development, personal responsibility type person. Right. And that’s my audience. That’s who I attract. And that’s who I talked to. And the big issue in this discussion that I always get in with my mom is like, and I’m curious your thoughts on this and my mom, like, you’re not going to offend her. I mean, we’re very much like that. And I’m sure she’s probably watching honestly.

Josh (00:13:22):
Um, but, uh, I’m like, mom, that’s my audience. That’s why I’m talking to, cause she’s like, Josh, there are legitimate people that need help. Right? And I’m like, no. And my mom is in no way a liberal or a Democrat by any means, but I mean she’s a Christian. She’s very, very Christian, very Bible believing. So I don’t really would say she identifies with one political party or the other, but she, I bash on those people that are on food stamps. Right. And bash on those people that are receiving, you know, welfare. And I’m like, there is a small percentage of people that need that. But like the audience that I’m talking to is not that. Right. That being said, I, um, I have a decent sized audience. I’m not near as big as you are, but like I feel like in order to evolve to the next level, I do need to be aware of what I’m saying, why I’m attracting who I’m repelling.

Josh (00:14:08):
How do you go about like, cause I’m sure there’s certain things that like, Oh, okay, like I stand out for this and this is not a problem but I’m not going to say this because this is going to offend certain people in my audience. Like how do you go about like making sure that you’re speaking to your audience and repelling the people that you don’t want? Cause like Steve Larson who we both love taught me, he said, Josh, it is just as important to um, on attract people that you don’t want in your audience as it is to attract the people that you want. How do you find the balance there?

Natalie (00:14:40):
So my response is an interesting question. A good question. Um, my response may be different than what you would expect. Um, so I 100% believe, especially from a marketing, when you know the person that you’re talking to, it makes your job so much easier because you understand their pain points and you understand their struggles and so you can speak directly to them. Whereas if you’re trying to talk to everybody, it’s not nearly as effective. It’s kind of like if you had a school and you had, you know, first graders and teenagers and you couldn’t, it’d be much harder to speak directly to that particular person when you’re trying to just generically speak to everybody. Right. Um, so, okay. Would you be okay if I told a little story real fast? I explained this. So the short answer is that I believe now that I, I am, uh, I am allowed to believe what I believe and think what I think.

Natalie (00:15:33):
And I do that on my page all the time. I also do it in a way though that I tried to show empathy for people that disagree with me and understand, you know, why they may think the way that they think and that’s okay, but this is why I think differently. And, um, part of I think where that came from and I believe that’s been part of why my brand has grown the way that it has is because people I hope can understand that even if they disagree with me or I disagree with them, I have empathy and I have compassion for where they’re at. And I believe where that came from. Um, so part of my story, and I, and I’ve told this now a number of times, but not everybody, especially if your audiences knew to follow, to, to knowing who I am, um, when I was younger.

Natalie (00:16:16):
Um, and I always feel like I need to preface this by saying, uh, my mom is just like you were just talking about your mom. Um, the goodness, the kindness in me that people are drawn to that comes from her a hundred percent. And she was one of the, she’s one of those people that, you know, there could be, you could be in a room with a hundred people and all 100 people would want to talk to her. She just makes you feel so loved. And um, but her perception of reality isn’t reality. And so when I was growing up, she was in and out of prison a lot, most of my life. And, um, one of the times I was 19 and she actually, we look a lot like if you look at a picture of her when I was, when she was 34, my age, we book like twins and um, she actually stole my identity when I was 19 and it was a bad deal.

Natalie (00:17:01):
I, um, I had to, I was basically, you know, sophomore in college and got served papers from the sheriff one day after track practice. And I, you know, was faced with a decision. I either had to testify against my mom or I would be in trouble. And so, um, Oh my gosh. Yeah, it was a crazy story. So what happened is, um, she ended up taking a plea deal so I wouldn’t have to testify. And so she, um, you know, she agreed to taking a plea deal, but because she had a history of doing this, um, what happened is I, you know, we went through about almost a year of that process and then I was at the sentencing and I remember that day, just like it was yesterday, I was sitting in the back of the room and my mom was in the front and the judge looked at me and looked at my, and she said, given the crime, I could give you the maximum sentence of 25 years.

Natalie (00:17:55):
And she said, but I’m not, and that’s because of your daughter, because I don’t want your daughter to feel like she sent her mother to prison for the rest of her life. And so, and I just had these, you know, silent tears streaming down my face. And so she got sentenced for six years. And so I was in college then I was 19. And, um, you know, we had to work through some of our stuff, but we did. And so every single Sunday, uh, after track practice, I drive two hours to the women’s state penitentiary. And I would visit her. And you know, the first couple months it was a little weird, but after that I actually really enjoyed the Sunday visits and I got to know the other women in the prison and it was fun, you know, and they were, um, you know, that experience.

Natalie (00:18:37):
I think one of the things that now it’s one of my core beliefs is I don’t think anybody is entirely good or entirely bad. Um, we all have a story, right? I think some people are good people that just make bad decisions. And, um, one of the things that, you know, I think impacted and I didn’t know it at the time, but now looking back in hindsight changed my career even. Um, there was this one woman there and her name was Cheryl and Cheryl was like crazy, right? Like she was in there for drugs and prostitution and I go down there and she told me all these crazy, crazy stories and I was like, Cheryl, I’m like this 19 year old innocent girl. Why are you telling me all this stuff? You know? And this was before, like now people can just phones, they can look stuff up.

Natalie (00:19:19):
But that, you know, internet was, I didn’t even have a smartphone then. And so, um, I, uh, I remember one day I was like, why are you like actually share? Why are you telling me this stuff? And I, I’ll never forget what she said. She said, um, she just looked at me and said, you know, Natalie, she said, nobody visits me anymore. She’s like, my kids stopped visiting me. My sister stopped visiting two years ago. These women are all that I have in here. And I, when I share my stories, I feel less alone and I’ll never forget that. And I really do believe that, that when you own your stories, those stories have less power over you. And that’s kind of the core of my whole business and my whole brand. I share, I share pretty much everything. Um, but I also believe that’s why people, um, are attracted to my brand is because they, you know, once you start telling, they talking about things that people don’t usually talk about, all of a sudden people are like, Whoa, like she’s thinking all the same things in my head that I thought, but I’m too scared to say.

Natalie (00:20:18):
And I think with you, Josh, with your brand kind of tying, looping, closing the loop, I think a lot you say a lot of things that people think, but they’re probably too afraid to say. And I think that’s why people are drawn to you. And so for me, um, I talk about all the things and I, you know, tell people my opinion, but I also think just because of those experiences I had growing up, I naturally have more empathy for people who, um, you know, I do believe that I, I believe sometimes people just make bad decisions, but I don’t think anybody’s 100% good.

Josh (00:20:50):
Yeah. So I want to dig further into the story sharing part of it cause that’s really interesting. Um, one of the issues that I’m facing right now and I’m trying to figure out in my brand and my stuff is what to share and how to share it from a vulnerability standpoint. Meaning like, all right, so hear me out here. I’m gonna try to explain this the best I can. I’ve actually, I don’t think I’ve ever quite shared it this way before. So fingers crossed, maybe you can help me walk me through this. Right. Um, I live a pretty good life. Okay. Yeah, I’ve worked my butt off. Like, I work harder than anyone that I know at least to get to this point, right? Like unbelievable amounts of work went into this, right? So like when people are like, Oh, Josh, we got featured in Forbes, found out about yesterday, which is so exciting, um, thing, different theory or whatever.

Josh (00:21:40):
So like people were like, Oh, Josh, that’s amazing. Like, how’d you do that? I was like, man, I just worked for like five straight years, you know what I mean? But anyway, so my thing is like, the more I grow and the more I mature, the less, um, dramatic. I get and so the more I like pull back from sharing some like dramaticy type things or anything that has to do with me looking messy or dramatic, not because I’m ashamed of them so much, but like I’m dream 100 and Russell Brunson right now, right. I’m dreaming a hundred thing. Tom, bill, you and Gary Vaynerchuk. I mean these are big name type people and like that’s the next level of people that I’m going after you are after because I have worked very hard and this is not because I’m so great. I want to clarify. I’m not guys, I’m not trying to toot my own horn here, right?

Josh (00:22:29):
But like I get to hang out with people like you all lot and Steve Larson and Collin Wayne and Brad give, I mean these are people that are make a ton of money and like, you know what I mean? And like have very successful businesses. That’s my clientele. These are my friends. These are the type of people that I’ve worked to hang around. So now I want to continue leveling up. And my fear is, is that if I’m putting out content on social media that is dramatic or that is maybe more like when I deal with things, I don’t go through the perfect webinar script or the epiphany bridge script in my head. You know what I mean? Like a lot of times this was like pieces and in order to do marketing in order to write stories, I mean I can’t write con contextual posts that are this long every single day, right?

Josh (00:23:09):
Like sometimes I need to summarize a story down into a much more eh story in an easy to read thing, right? Where you’re not going to bring all parts of the context of the story. And I’m like, what’s the balance of being like truly authentic and real and like, I don’t know, I have a hard time like sharing struggles because I live a like, don’t get me wrong, I struggle. I struggle like a lot. I wrestled with God a lot. My brother died last year, like hardest year of my freaking life and I opened up about that. But like a lot of my problems I know are [inaudible] first world problems. It’s ridiculous, right? Like I’m like, Oh man, I’ve got money in the bank, I’ve got a family that loves me, my parents are still together. I don’t worry about finances all that much. You know what I mean? Like my life overall is pretty great. And yeah. So then I look at the problems of the world and I go, ah, well big problems in the world. I want to help. I want to get involved politically a little bit. And like things like that. Cause I genuinely want to help people, but I have a hard time being like sharing my internal struggles because I literally feel guilty that I have it. So good. Like how do you deal with that?

Natalie (00:24:16):
That’s a great question. And I agree. I actually wrote some notes down because I didn’t want to forget and like how to respond to each of those points cause there’s so many things we could dive deep in. But, um, so first I would say, I think what every level you hit, you’re going to have people who just don’t get it, right? Like I still think my family just thinks I goof off on Facebook all day and I’m like, no, I’m running a big corporation. And a lot of them

Josh (00:24:41):
really quick for context for those listening to have no idea who Natalie is or what, who are you like, just give us a 32nd, a minute long. Like, what do you do?

Natalie (00:24:51):
So I always think, you know, I probably need a better elevator pitch because when a random person says, what do you do? I’m like, well, my job is very unique. Um, so I run a big corporation. Long story short, I’ll keep it super short. Basically. Um, I started blogging a decade ago after I had my son against 70 pounds and it was just like an online journal for me. It was like a secret. I didn’t tell anybody I knew in real life and I like to cook. So I started taking unhealthy recipes and making them healthy and I was putting them on Pinterest. Now, this was Pinterest 10 years ago, not Pinterest now. And so I was taking like flip phone photos and it was bad, but I started doing some traffic to my site and I was like, you know, if I’m getting, I was a decent amount, like 30,000 people a month.

Josh (00:25:29):
Wow.

Natalie (00:25:30):
I was like, if I’m getting all this traffic I might as well try to monetize it. So I got certified as a personal trainer and I started writing eBooks and then, and it was doing okay, you know, as a stale mom selling eBooks, writing. It was going well. And then I went through a divorce about five, almost five years ago. And um, we had agreed on, you know, no child support or alimony. We did 50, 50. And so all of a sudden I was like, okay, nataline your back’s up against the wall financially. And I remember that day vividly, I was, I had this little town home I was renting. I was sitting on my couch, I pulled my Wells Fargo app on my phone and I had like three months of rent left and no income coming in. And that was it. And I was like, Hey, I have to figure this out.

Natalie (00:26:09):
And so that’s when I started, um, re writing more eBooks and that’s when I learned about funnels and click funnels. And I had never, I didn’t know anything about internet marketing. I had never collected a single email address. I didn’t know about any of that. I was not a traditional marketer. Um, and so I looked at my Google analytics and my number one blog post was this weird word called diastasis wreck day. And the second one was pelvic floor dysfunction. Essentially in normal language. That means a lot of times after women have babies, if they laugh, costs knees jump on a trampoline, they’ll pee their pants a little bit. And I had this video of me, I had owned a company where we filmed workouts and I peed my pants on camera. And I was like, and I also had a doctor friend who knew how to fix this problem.

Natalie (00:26:56):
Anyways, long story short, we ended up writing an ebook that is a four week program that fixes this problem. And I knew I had to have a heart to heart with myself and I had to say, King Natalie, are you willing to tell the whole world that you used to pee your pants? And I’m so grateful. I did in hindsight. But we launched the program. I use that video. I um, and the program works. That’s, you know, it was a good program. It wasn’t copy book. And I partnered with a doctor to write it. And um, I remember I reached out to her the day after Thanksgiving. I said, Hey, I have this idea. We started writing it the day after Christmas and we launched it January 31st. So a month, a month, a month, within four months of launching that $37 ebook, we had sold over a million dollars of that $37 ebook. So then they continued to write more eBooks.

Natalie (00:27:42):
Yeah, it’s continued to go and go. And I have a lot of eBooks now. I was like, well, that works so well, let’s do more. And so I’ve written Crock-Pot cookbooks and I’m not a chef, but what I did is I just looked at the areas that people were already coming to me with questions and I just started answering them. People wanted to know my crock pot recipes. It’s like, okay, I’ll write a crockpot cookbook. Um, so we started in, did all eBooks, and now what we did is after a couple of years, I was like, gosh, I’ve learned so much along the way. I felt like I had this moral obligation to teach people how I did it. And so we have something called peak business Academy where I teach other people how to do, create something similar to what I’ve done. And then we do challenges and retreats and that kind of stuff.

Natalie (00:28:21):
So in a nutshell, what I tell people in one sentence is I have a company where we sell digital products, eBooks, membership sites and courses, but it’s a lot more than that. And you’re primarily, you’re primarily selling to women in the health space. Yeah, we started in the fitness space. Now I’m, I get more excited about the mindset and the personal development piece, but fitness will always be a part of my brand. So I believe a strong woman is somebody who is strong in three pillars. So strong, physically strong, emotionally and strong financially. So all my content, I’ll say, okay, this falls underneath this pillar here, underneath this pillar. So anyways, roughly how many customers do you have? Or we’ve heard it over a quarter million, maybe 300,000 people through our programs in the last three, two and a half years. Three years.

Josh (00:29:04):
Congratulations. That is, that is absolutely phenomenal.

Natalie (00:29:07):
Yeah. And then we have social media reach of about 2 million people between Instagram, Facebook and Pinterest. We use Pinterest a lot. Actually. Pinterest, by the way, for those of you guys listening, if you’re in the marketing space, it’s like the untapped area that people should be on right now, in my opinion. Well, if your audience is women, there’s more women. It’s the third largest search engine in the world. I didn’t know that. And we have, um, we have a process where we, um, spend a couple hours a month. We put up a number of pins. So we batch it beginning of the month and we get one to 2 million unique impressions per month almost for free using Pinterest. So no paid advertising. Yeah. So anyways, just a little tip. Okay. So going back to that vulnerability testing. So this is what I think. Um, I think, I believe in [inaudible].

Natalie (00:29:54):
So you know, Bernay Brown’s content, she’s like a, she’s a, she, if you haven’t watched your Ted talk, anybody listening, go watch it right now. Her work, it’s briny. So it’s like Renee with a B in front of it. And her work changed my life. A YouTube, Renee Brown power of vulner vulnerability. And um, her books, she has a book called daring greatly and rising strong. I call them the magic books because every time I read them and I’ve read them five or six times, I get something different out of them. Like every single human on this planet should listen to her content. But, um, what she did is she taught people that vulnerability is the ultimate human connector. And she taught us that we need to be vulnerable and that vulnerability is actually a strength. But what nobody’s really talking about is your exact question is how do you actually be vulnerable and, um,

Josh (00:30:44):
specifically to like how to be vulnerable and how do you, how to do it in such a way where it doesn’t seem like you’re complaining. Yeah. It’s like cleansing. Yeah. Cause you just feel like you have, it’s so good. And then there’s these other people that don’t, you’re like,

Natalie (00:30:59):
well first off, I think it’s so important to stay in gratitude. Right. Um, in fact, do you follow Tom, bill, you or David Goggins they talk about the 80 20 rule.

Josh (00:31:08):
Okay. Really, really, really side note real quick. Tom. Bill, you spoke in funnel hacking live, which super sad. You weren’t there. Um, I got to meet, I got to meet him afterwards. Right place. Right time. He’s coming down the escalator. Down the bridge. You were, were you there last year? I was there last year. So you know, like you come out of the conference hall, there’s that bridge across there. So I’m like walking up as he’s coming down and there’s like 50 people around him, but it’s like half of it was like they were all behind him. So he came up and I was like right there and all the people swarmed around him. And I’m Tom bill, you runs impact theory for those of you guys that don’t know, he has impacted my life so much. I mean I named the show after it, right. Impact everything given theory. So I got to meet him and then I got to ask him, um, we have it all on video. It’s a five minute video clip. I asked her about the death of my brother and about truth and like where he finds truth and everything like that. So I absolutely love Tom. Um, super, super cool experience there.

Natalie (00:31:58):
Tom’s amazing. I w I got a chance to speak at the influencer event Brendon Burchard put on a couple months ago and he was one of the speakers and so we could spend time backstage too. And I have post it notes all over my house and almost all of them are. And they’re words that just inspire me almost all are Tom’s words. And I started that a couple of years ago when I needed, when I was going through my divorce and I needed that reminder that action and identity are what matter. And anyways, I showed them those and I told them the story of my kids, how he’s impacted my kids. And he filmed a video to my kids on my phone. Like Tom is an amazing human being, but what they talk a lot about is the 80 20 rule. So 80% of the time you live in gratitude, 20% of the time David Goggins calls it the cookie jar where have these things that like rile you up and you’ve reach into that for motivation for, to get that fire underneath of you.

Natalie (00:32:45):
And I believe the same is true of vulnerability, right? In real life. We don’t walk around to our friends and family 100% of the time being vulnerable, right? And so you wouldn’t do that with your audience. And so 80% of the content I put out is just really good content that helps people, that serves people. And then 20% is where I share more of the vulnerable stuff. And I have a, so what’s interesting, so take a step back. Before I really understood all of this, I was, I just knew that when I was vulnerable it worked. But I didn’t understand why and the like the science, the geek in me wanted to figure that out. So I like geeked out on all the research papers of vulnerability. And what I recognize is that there’s a link between vulnerability and shame. So they’re like oil and water, they can’t survive together.

Natalie (00:33:29):
So typically the more vulnerable you are on a topic, the less shame you feel about that area and vice versa. The more shame you have about something, the harder it is for you to be vulnerable. So I realized that Lincoln, then I was like, okay, well what’s Shane? So I started to geek out on shame. And I’ve read probably every research paper out there. And in a nutshell, the definition of shame is the belief that you’re not good enough and that you’re not capable of change. And so what I started to realize is that the more vulnerable I was willing to be on any topic, one the shame I had around that. Once you own your stories, those stories no longer have power over you. The shame went down. But we’ll so cool. And this was like the coolest part about having an audience, people that you can speak to is that when I started to infuse my content with, so also some people hate the word vulnerable.

Natalie (00:34:16):
I just say real. Okay, if you don’t like the word vulnerable, it’s just being real. Um, what happened is that then by default when my audience was taking in that content, they started to feel like they were good enough and that they weren’t capable of change. And when people believe that they’re good enough and they’re capable of change, guess what? They’ll rally around you. They’ll buy your content and they’ll trust you. And so, um, I have like an 80 20 rule. But if you actually look at like Hollywood for example, right? You notice the top influencers are very, very subtly good at being vulnerable. If you look at, um, Joe Rogan for example, he’s like crazy, but he doesn’t just share his stories like he like puts it all out there, right? If you look at Tom Bilyeu, Tom bill, you talks about how his wife’s dad said no when he asked him to marry her because, yeah, because he thought he couldn’t ever provide, if you look at the rock, right?

Natalie (00:35:07):
He’s like the number one most loved Hollywood celebrity. He talks openly about depression and Demi Lovato talks about eating disorders and her lyrics and Ellen degenerates talks about sexuality. And so if you look, there’s a lot of people who are subtly very good at this, but it’s not all in your face all the time. It’s about an 80, 20 rule. And what’s cool is that if you look at the, um, through research, statistically, there’s actually a number of topics that people feel shame around. Do you want to guess what the number one topic for women might be seen as like body image? Exactly. Bingo. Body image. Do you want to guess what it is for men? It’s gotta be finances. Yup. Not being able to provide for your family.

Natalie (00:35:50):
Isn’t that crazy? And then the list goes on. I actually have one list right here. Pull that link, pull it up. So the list goes on there. 16 topics and it’s, um, motherhood and fatherhood not being a good parent and family problems. Um, money, employment, mental and physical health, sex, aging, religion, stereotypes and labels. Uh, speaking out, that’s more for women than men. Surviving trauma and abuse and addiction and home runs. I can understand why every single one of those make sense, huh? Well, and so exactly. And so what I do is I say, okay, statistically we know that most people on this planet have felt shame around one if not many of those topics. And so what I do with my content is I say, okay, what, you know, uh, Russell Brunson talks about his arsenal of stories with creating epiphany bridges. I took that, I adapted that a little bit and I said, okay, let’s look at this list and what are my arsenal of stories on any of these topics.

Natalie (00:36:45):
And so, um, you know, I know that when I’m willing to tell my stories, people will relate to that. So how can I brainstorm my list of things that, um, I have had shame over in the past because I believe that anytime you have shame, you’re gonna hit a ceiling of how high you can go in. And so once you’re willing to address the shame, um, then you’re released by the chains of shame. And so to specifically answer your question, how do you do it? I kind of have a four step process that I’ve learned. So first off, it’s really important to remember. It’s important to remember to share scars and not open wounds. Now, um, I say that meaning like let’s give an example, right? So, um, the reason I say that is because any little shred of criticism, if it’s a wide open wound can shatter you into a million pieces.

Natalie (00:37:36):
And sometimes you just need to wait to share until later. And so let’s say you’re like going through bankruptcy like tomorrow. I wouldn’t recommend sharing that right now because one, it can make you, it’s just weird. And it counsel, you can make other people feel a little bit uncomfortable, but that’s an amazing story to share later once you’ve worked through it once it’s more of a scar. And so one of the tips I have, the problem is it’s hard sometimes to share things later because you’re through, you’ve worked through it. So it’s hard to remember those real raw emotions. So what I do is I just pull up my notes on my iPhone and I shorthand not full sentences, but I jot down those raw emotions that I’m feeling. So then later when I’m trying to write about it, I don’t have writer’s block. I can remember sometimes I’ll even, I’ve, I’ve not released anything like this, but sometimes I’ve used them, filmed myself when I’m melting down to use later, just as a reminder of how I felt in that moment. Um, and then real quick, I just want to go back to the example of sharing, uh, scars, not wounds. I think you said

Josh (00:38:36):
making people feel uncomfortable. There’s a guy we had on the show here earlier and um, I know, I’m sure you know who he is and many of the listeners probably do as well. But like look at Matt Maddix who by the way, I like Matt, right? He and I are friends. It’s on my funnel hacking live, you know, we talk. But like that would be an example of making a lot of people feel really uncomfortable by sharing something that you’re going through at an improper period of time. Right. And like keep in mind, you get a lot of views, right? Like if you were going through bankruptcy tomorrow and we’re talking about it, it’s a lot of them, like a lot of people would view that. But think of how, and you know, if you go back and look at it, a lot of people were very, very uncomfortable.

Josh (00:39:16):
Even I like, we had them on the show like a week after it happened. Cause I was like, I was like, if you’re talking I will interview you. Right. And so we brought him on and it was very, very interesting. Even then he was settled down a little bit, but like it certainly hurt his brand overall. Um, from a lot of people’s perspective. Now he’s off doing his thing. Once again, Matt, if you’re listening, you know, I respect him as a friend, but that’s an example of not sharing a scar, but that’s an open wound. He was hurting. Right. There were some definite things that he was going through in his life that needed to be addressed. That probably wasn’t the best time to, to share that. Um, but, and that’s the result you get from it.

Natalie (00:39:52):
Well, and there is a little bit of a gray area there too, because sometimes when you share it, actually having a supportive tribe of people around you can be helpful. Right. For example, you shared, you know, what happened with your brother when it happened? I went through an ectopic pregnancy a number of years ago and I wasn’t planning to share it, but I was just so pissed off and angry that I just shared it and it was amazing. I just heard my rooster Crow. Um, uh, it was amazing because I had strangers send me cards of support. I mean it was, that was helpful. So there is a teeny bit of a gray area, but

Josh (00:40:29):
I would say that probably in that time like if, if overwhelming majority of the people that you know are going to be supportive, I mean there are very few people that would see the death of Kyle and be like, yeah, you suck. Like that’s not going to happen. And then in fact I actually got much more blow back after the fact once it was a scar. I mean I’ve had people when I came out and supported Trump, I’ve literally had people messaging me saying, I hope like I’m glad your brother died. I hope it happens to the rest of your family members. I mean like, like just terrible, terrible things. So like I, there is that gray area in there. I would agree.

Natalie (00:41:01):
Yeah, I agree. So, um, I do have a kind of a, and we went a long time on this topic, but I do have kind of a four step system that I follow and, um, my rooster, I’m hope you can’t hear that. Sorry guys, if you can. And while that’s real life. Um, so I, uh, I basically, I, it’s a four step process. So step number one is I lead with the bra, the vulnerable stuff, but how you were feeling because what happens is in that first sentence, people will see that and they’ll be like, Whoa, like she’s she or he is saying all the things I’m thinking my head, but I’m too, you know, let’s say one of the topics is addiction. Let’s say start talking about addiction. You had gone through or you know, the, the story about my mom, right? You lead with that, that vulnerable stuff.

Natalie (00:41:42):
Um, and then what you do is you show yourself a little bit of grace and take responsibility for what got you there. If it was like a mistake you went through. Um, three, I look back at another time in my life where I had felt kind of similar and I relate it to that. And then for I am, the most important part is that I loop it back around with how I worked through it or if I’m in it, how I plan to work through it. And the reason that’s the most important is because one, it turns it from a negative what you were worried about being whiny to a positive. And then secondly, um, it gives other people a hope, a plan, and they’re like, okay, well that’s how she worked through it. I could do it too. And so that’s kind of my process and it, it didn’t, it’s not like I sat down and wrote out a process.

Natalie (00:42:23):
I just noticed that most of my viral posts followed that. And so now I, I follow that model because you know, you, you grab people’s attention by being vulnerable, but you finish it on a positive note. And that’s kind of how I turned, you know, being vulnerable and sharing and not seeming whiny as to like, okay, let’s look at the silver lining in this, or let’s look at how we can work through this. And then it gives people, you know, it’s like the four minute mile. Well, if she felt the same way I do right now and she worked through it, I could do it. Yeah,

Josh (00:42:52):
I can do it too. I can. Interesting who, who is bad or how do I want to phrase this question? What has been the biggest, um, response to a post or to a story that you’ve shared? Like what, what story or like what, what moment has it looks like you might have one in mind right here. Like what’s been the biggest response positively when you’ve done in shared something like this?

Natalie (00:43:18):
So I can tell you, um, it was a video that added 100,000 organic followers to my Facebook. Yeah. So basically you were talking about during 100 there was a blog or a influencer out there and her name was Heidi pal. Her and her husband had a TV show on ABC called extreme weight loss. And, um, I just liked following her. She has four kids and, um, I was following her and she was doing this series on perfectly imperfect. And I was like, I’ve talk about that. I would be, you know, in my head I’m like, I’d be great on this. So I went to her website, there’s no contact button. So I was like, really bummed. I was like, dang it. And um, and so I, the next day woke up, I was like, no, I really want to do this. So I just started guessing. I put in like 10 different email addresses like HP, a Heidi Powell.

Natalie (00:44:03):
Dot. Net contact at Heidi Paul. Dot net. Adland Heidi and all them came back, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce. But one of them went through and her assistant, Lisa wrote me back and she was like, actually, we’ve heard about you and we’d love to have you as a feature. That’s crazy. And so, um, I actually decided to film a video and at first it was a nine minute video and they nixed it. They were like, this is too long, her audience on pay attention. So I redid the whole thing and I led by talking about perfectly imperfect. And I kind of started with like, you know, this makeup hair done is what most people see, but, and then I flipped the camera without any makeup. I was like, but this is actually higher. But the part that made me the most nervous was, um, I stood up and I, you know, when I stand up and I’m in shapes, I’ve got sick, you know, good abs and I was like this, I’ve had some beautiful professional photographs taken.

Natalie (00:44:56):
Um, but what most people don’t see is that when I bend over, I had two 10 pound babies and my skin is really stretched and wrinkly. And I showed it and I zoomed in on it and I was scared to death to show that. And now I’ve talked about it so much. Now it doesn’t phase me. Like he said, I’ve said three times now, once you own your stories, the stories don’t have Harvey. But I had so much shame around this body image, this idea of wanting to look amazing and be in good shape. And um, I was, I remember going to hit post and my hand did this. I was like shaking and I, um, I couldn’t look at the computer for like 30 minutes after cause I was certain I was going to come back to internet trolls. And it did, it was the opposite.

Natalie (00:45:38):
It was so many women saying, Oh my gosh, you know, and this was a couple of years ago. I feel like more people talk about it now, but they were like, I’ve never, you know, I have that too. And I never knew somebody else did. And um, that cause kind of what kicked off a lot of my wanting to talk about stuff that people won’t talk about because I realized the power of it and not say this is where I feel like it’s a, it’s a fine line between me talking about, it’s not just a marketing ploy, right? It’s not just, Oh, what can I do that will get attention from people. It’s genuinely how can I help people? And where, you know, because I do believe that that’s true power when you can positively influence people, when you can make people, when you can reduce their shame. And again, the definition of shame is that you’re not good enough and you’re not capable of change. If you can get people to believe that they are good enough, they are capable of change. That’s true power that you can have.

Josh (00:46:27):
And I think one thing, and we talked about this on our last show as well, I think one thing that’s different and that a lot of the average person doesn’t understand about maybe your life and my life is we have chosen whether indirectly or directly to be an influencer, right? Like I don’t think reading your story, I don’t think you were like, yeah, I’m going to be [inaudible]. Right. And me, I mean I’m pretty vocal about wanting to become that. But like when you, when you do that, the dynamic changes and it’s not, you’re no longer just a marketer, right? And so like I look at something, people that are marketers and they are really good at marketers but me, I’m like I am a marketer. But more importantly I am a communicator, right? Like I need to learn how to communicate well. Oh, it just so happens that marketing is like the highlights and the best pieces of all communication, right?

Josh (00:47:24):
So when you’re an influencer, you add elements that you wouldn’t use in marketing, but you do have a lot of the elements that you would use in marketing. And so the blow back that I have typically seen, and I would imagine question Mark, that you see this as well typically comes from those people that are like, Oh, you’re just using this to get views. You’re just using this to get dollars or like whatever. And it’s like, well no. It just so happens that the same process you use to get dollars and views is what you do to tell a good story is what you do to be open and vulnerable. And I can use pretty much any elements of my life to relate to someone because I am a normal person. Right? And I don’t have any super powers. I might be weird, right? I might not let, you know, things happen. I might live a different life, but like those same struggles come in. And so I think a lot of people like look at influencers as these people that are like, Oh, you’re just trying to do it to get money. Cause some of them do. But like I’m just over here. Like now I’m just trying to live my life and I’m trying to relate to you people because like, this is what I’ve chosen to do with my life. You know what I mean?

Natalie (00:48:19):
Yeah. And I think I totally agree with that. And I think for me, my heart is in helping people that just, that’s what gives me my motivation. And so I’ve, I am a communicator that has had to learn to be a marketer, I guess, if that makes sense. So I wasn’t a marketer first. I had to learn those so that way I could run the company and impact more people. But for me, my heart isn’t like when I can, when I get a message from somebody saying that I positively impacted them or I’ve changed their life, that in fact, you know what I do. So we, I have hard days, we’ll have hard days, right? Is um, I create what I call them anchors, um, for myself. And so on those days where I’m feeling like stressed out or overwhelmed, I keep screenshots of all the kinds of messages that people have sent me and that might, that’s in my anchors album or I have pictures of like the day I bought my house as a single mom with my kids and I standing on the front porch. Like I have that as an anchor. I have certain things that in a moment can reset me. I have a playlist, same thing with working out, right? You have days where you don’t feel like working out. I have music that I can listen to that song and I’m like, all right.

Natalie (00:49:22):
Yup. And then, yeah, well I, I’m just gonna say, and then I have affirmations around my house, like I talked about. I have, um, you know, I have one right here. Every choice you make or feel to make not only follows you into the future, it actually writes your future. Your choices matter a lot. Act accordingly, you know, say yes, figure it out even if it scares you and if it scares you, more reason to say yes and get after it. You know, things like that that um, that keep me in the right mindset are anchors and affirmations.

Josh (00:49:48):
Hmm. I want to talk real quick about stories and about specifically the stories we tell ourselves. Um, cause you know, you’re big on mindset and belief and shame and, and one of the things that you say a lot, which I love and actually I think you were the first person that actually said it like this, which really stuck with me was um, if you put your stories out there, they no longer have power over you. Right. And I actually did an episode, I think it was before, um, you came on the podcast, uh, which kind of talks about that similar thing, which is you’ve got to face the deep, deep, dark demons of your mind, right? Like you’ve got to face those dark things because when you face them and you take care of them now, they don’t have power over anymore or over you anymore. And I think this is something that a lot of people are afraid of. Um, and Katie, we talked about the case. Do you have a coach by the way?

Natalie (00:50:35):
Uh, not currently. We did. I did for years and years and years. I’m in between. Right,

Josh (00:50:39):
okay. So you’re [inaudible] but like you, you understand the importance of coaches and the power of coaches.

Natalie (00:50:44):
I’ve always been, I’ve always been in a coaching group, whether that’s for physical fitness, whether that’s for business, where it’s for mindset.

Josh (00:50:50):
Yeah. So one of the things that, uh, Katie has taught me a lot and has drilled home. And then once again, you heard it before, but all of a sudden you write a $60,000 check. And you know, you, you start to pay attention a little bit more, right? Um, but you go, uh, she says the stories you tell yourself about you control you, right? So whatever, whatever story you’re telling yourself, that’s a lie, right? Because there’s, and I think I have to con, uh, bring context around this year cause I think it’s super important. I believe there’s two types of truth in the world. Okay? There’s absolute truth, which is eternal, right? That is morality. The law is upon which we all operate by, which we’ll never fully understand. Some of the things we have to accept by faith, then there’s a second day, but truth, which is like we’re 90% of our days are made up.

Josh (00:51:33):
And that is our own personal truth, right? And our truth is defined by the stories that we tell ourselves. So whatever you’re telling yourself right now, it’s a lie. If it’s holding you back and whatever version of yourself that you want to become, you just need to start telling yourself the story. And like by default, you will start acting out of that, right? And so I want to talk to you a little bit about how owning your stories allows you to create room for new stories to come in. Because that’s one of the big things that I found was like, Whoa, when I went through and face, cause I had some, had some stories, right? I had some stuff that I had to go face, some demons, but when I did that, it’s not only that they stopped holding me back is literally that I now had room to put new stories in my mind. You know what I mean? So like I’m curious, just talk to me about stories right now and um, and how much has it changed?

Natalie (00:52:21):
I love that you brought this up because you know, I just talked to, I post it and it’s all over my house where the one next to my bed that I look at every single day is it word for word what you just said? It’s identity equals the stories that you, the story you tell yourself about yourself. But the beautiful thing about identity is that it’s malleable. And so I believe that. So there’s two sides. There’s two ways to look about this. Sometimes it’s hard to just tell yourself, Oh, I’m going to be a different person, right? Because our subconscious is like, well, wait, I’m this person over here. And so what I always tell people what I’ve done myself is you really need to start to think about the way that you think. And most people don’t do that, right? Most people are just like, yeah, these are just the thoughts.

Natalie (00:53:05):
I think that’s just what my brain does. But when you really start to pay attention, you can shift that and you can do it in a series of ways. So one of the things I start to do is I say, okay, I’m not going to ask myself why questions? Why did this happen to me? Why can’t I follow through on everything? Why do I suck so bad? Why don’t these people like me? Instead I flipped them to how questions or questions. So how can I model somebody else who has successfully done this in the past? How can I figure this out? How can I educate myself so I can do something similar? And when you start to look at, because what will happen, and science has proven this, your brain will naturally fill in the holes of the questions that you’re asking. And so if you’re asking yourself negative questions, subconsciously, you’re going to start to find negative answers.

Natalie (00:53:48):
But if you start asking yourself positive questions or questions like, who can I model? How can I figure this out? Your brain will subconsciously start to fill in those holes. And the, um, the, what is it called? Oh, I’m having a brain funk right now. But the way that, like the neurons, the neurons in your brain transmit to each other will shift. And that’s been proven by science. And so, um, one of the things that I believe, and I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of a gal named Katie Byron. Um, she has really cool work that she’s in. It’s called the work of Katie Byron, and she has a four step process that she puts people through and her whole thing. She has a cool story. She used to be super depressed. She was, she had, what’s that word where you’re afraid to leave your house?

Natalie (00:54:27):
Um, she had like a massive fear of people and she started to believe, and she dug into the science of it, that it’s, um, your thoughts actually create your reality. And so she created this, these four questions. And I still ask myself these questions at times when I’m starting to feel that my mindset is slipping back. And it’s, um, so let’s say for example, you walk into a party and you’re there and everybody knows talking to other people and you start thinking to yourself, I don’t belong here. Nobody here wants me here. I, you know, I’m awkward. And you start like feeling really uncomfortable. So the four questions you would ask yourself is, one, is that thought true? And it can only be yes or no. I can’t be. Well, maybe. And it might be yes, it might be no. The second question is, is this thought absolutely without a shadow of a doubt, with 100% certainty?

Natalie (00:55:14):
True. And usually what you’ll find is that no, that thought, you know, that’s not absolutely true. And then the third question is, um, uh, how does it make me feel when I believe those thoughts are true? So when you feel like nobody wants you there, you start to feel small and insecure and feel bad about yourself. And then the fourth question is, what would my life be like without that thought in my head? And without that thought in your head, you’d go to the party and you’d probably be like, Oh cool, there’s good food over there. Or Hey, I see this person over there that’s talking to somebody else. I will talk to them in a minute. And so you can retrain the way that your brain thinks using those four questions. And her stuff’s awesome. Like I used to geek out on her YouTube videos all the time.

Natalie (00:55:55):
But you know, for me, um, I think focusing on identity has been the biggest thing that has shifted my life. And Tom, bill, you taught me a lot about that, that we have the opinions are adaptive species like we are, but it doesn’t feel comfortable at the beginning. And so what you need to do is you need to learn to train your brain. For me, and this is where I know I’m different than most people out there. Like most motivational goobers will say shoot for the moon because even if you miss, you’ll hit the stars or you know your, your, what does it be? Hag, big, hairy, audacious goal. I’m not saying big dreams and big goals aren’t, there’s not a time and a place. But I also believe that what I do is I tell people to scale it way back and we do something called micro goals where you focus into like, and if it feels weird at first cause you’re like these are too easy but what you, but it’s not about the goal itself, it’s about the process.

Natalie (00:56:50):
And it’s about learning to teach yourself that you can say you’re going to do something and then actually do it. And then what happens is you give yourself small little wins. I actually had people write them on a check on a whiteboard and in fact, well it’s half a racer. And I happened to have it right here cause I was doing this in a presentation. It’s my hand erase that. But I take their micro goals, break it into personal business or financial and family. And then when you hit them, you put a big red check Mark on your whiteboard. And what that does is it gives you a win and a win. We’ll give you momentum to give to the next step. And I teach people focus on good, better, best, right? Because a lot of times we get into what I call the three piece, perfectionism, paralyze or procrastination paralyzation.

Natalie (00:57:31):
And so we’ll like, I have to be perfect, I have to do everything perfectly. And then you can’t do it. So you procrastinate and then you feel paralyzed and you just stay exactly where you’re at. And so what I tell people is oftentimes you’re trying to go 20 feet with a 10 foot leash attached to you. And so instead of trying to go 20 feet and getting nowhere, let’s focus on just going 10 feet or even five feet or even two feet. But two feet forward is better than staying exactly where you’re at. And the way to do that is through this process called good, better, best. So you aim for best. If you can’t do best, it doesn’t mean you’re failure, right? Right. Subtle difference in words. Um, and this is what I believe creates your identity is when I was able to separate, just because I failed doesn’t mean I’m a failure. Subtle difference in words, big difference in what they mean. One’s an act and one’s your identity. And so if you can’t do better, focused on best that day, if you can’t do best focused on good but good is still gonna move you forward instead of staying stuck in perfectionism and realization.

Josh (00:58:28):
Yeah, and I love that. And, and one of the things that, um, gosh, there’s so many things there that I’m just like, Oh, so good. We can talk forever. Diver on that. Um, one of the things Katie told me like was right when I hired, I was like the first thing, right? I was like, I hired you to be my business coach, right? And so I sit down and like, here are all my business problems. I don’t know that I should do this or this or this or this or this or this. And the very first thing that she said to me, and I’ll never forget this, she’s like, Josh, the first thing that we need to do is we need to understand that language is power. And I’m like, okay, what do you mean? Like I know that I think like, you know, what does that mean?

Josh (00:59:05):
And she goes, well, the language that you speak determines the questions that you ask determines the answers that you get and the answers that you get, that is how you operate, right? So the stories that you tell yourself comes from the language that you speak, right? So need to choose your words carefully. And that’s by the way, not just audible words, that is the words of, through in the stories that are going through your mind. So if you’re telling yourself, even if you can’t hear it, it’s in your head, these words that is going to determine the reality because you’re basing your information. I mean, like you said, the subtle difference in failed and failure. Why we’re talking like a couple of letter difference, massive, massive, massive implications longterm. But because we’re so focused on just this little short term and we’re like, ah, we don’t see how that’s going to change things in the longterm because we’re not looking in the right place. And so once she like told me that everything I do, I go back to, I’m like, okay, what’s the story? I’m telling myself? What questions am I asking myself? What language am I using? I think that’s so

Natalie (01:00:02):
100% yeah. Just because you screwed up doesn’t mean you’re screwed. Just because you failed doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Yeah. And I think, and I’m going to go back to this cause this is like my thing that I love is that I also believe that areas that we have shame around until we’re able to address those head-on, you’re always going to hit a ceiling. You’re always going to get stuck, you’re always going to feel like you’re not good enough. Right? And so I just tell people, one, figure out the area that you have shame and then add the word yet, I’m not good enough yet. What do my goals demand of me and what is, what are the actual things I can do to take action to make forward movement? Even if it’s just one step forward, what can I do every single day to prove to myself that I can say I’m going to do something and then actually do it.

Josh (01:00:42):
I love that. I love that guys. Um, if you have found value of any sorts in this live stream, I just comment hashtag value down below, whether it’s on Facebook or on YouTube. And if you’re listening on audio, I don’t know, be sure to leave a rating and review or something like that. You know, cause we need him more subscribers. The better, right

Natalie (01:00:59):
you on iTunes that will help us a iTunes rankings. If Josh has helped you in any way, shape or form, just go review his podcasts on iTunes and I’ll help them out.

Josh (01:01:07):
I appreciate that Natalie. Um, Natalie, I want to be respectful of your time. It’s been about an hour. Um, thank you for coming on. This has been phenomenal. It’s been so good to have you back on. Oh, there you go. I see you. Oh, are you back? Are you gone? No, I, you were frozen there first. Oh no. Okay. I said, Natalie, I want to be respectful of your time. Thank you so much for coming on. Where can people find out more about you if they want to learn a little bit more about what you do?

Natalie (01:01:29):
Yeah, so on Instagram it’s a, at Natalie Hodson, that’s H O, D, like David, S, O N like Nancy, the number one, uh, Facebook, Natalie Hodson official or, um, you know, we have our, our challenges that we do every month. It’s challenged on Natalie hodson.com and just Natalie Hodson all over the board.

Josh (01:01:47):
Natalie Hanson, just Google her. She’s famous guys. She, she, she’s famous without wanting to be famous. Um, Natalie, thank you so much. Any last words or anything that you wanted to share or leave us with?

Natalie (01:01:58):
You know, I mean the Think Different Theory podcast is amazing. It really is. And I hope you guys are listening and really taking in the guests that he’s bringing on, that Josh is bringing on, and the insight that Josh has, because the one thing that I’ve learned is that, I believe I’m not that good at that many things. I tell people that all the time. My only superpower is I can communicate well, and I can connect with people. But, I think one of the keys to my success is I’ve found people, even people who maybe were just two steps ahead of me, but I found people who were doing the things that I wanted to be doing, and I tried to learn, ‘Okay. How can I model what they’re doing, and how can I take the advice that they’re giving, and actually implement that into my day to day life?”

Natalie (01:02:36):
So, if you guys are watching Josh’s show, like, every single show that you watch, at the end, put a list on your notes section in your phone, or make a mental note. Right? Post-it notes like I do, and say, “Okay, here’s one thing that I’m going to implement from what I learned from Josh today.” And, I promise you, you do that five days a week, for 52 weeks a year, you’re going to have some significant massive change in your life. And you’re going to learn to think different. Right? To shift the way that your brain thinks, and to learn to level up like all the people he has on his podcast. So, Josh is a good dude. You guys are in good hands with him.

Josh (01:03:06):
I appreciate that, Natalie. Thank you so much. That means… seriously that means a lot. So, thank you so much for your time. Guys, this has been Natalie Hodso. The amazing Natalie Hodson on Think Different Theory. As always, hustle, hustle. God bless. Do not be afraid to think different, because those of us that think different are going to be the ones that change the world. I love you all and I will see you guys. Tomorrow we have Collin Wayne coming on the podcast who is… he runs about a $50 million a year steel company, was invited by Donald Trump himself to the White House for Made in America Day, for companies that were made in America. He was chosen from Alabama. He’s a great, great dude. A good friend of mine, and really looking forward to having him on. So don’t miss out on that tomorrow. 12 O’clock Eastern time, 9:00 AM Pacific. Natalie, thank you so much again. Guys…

Natalie (01:03:51):
Thank you, Josh.

Josh (01:03:52):
I love you all, and I will see you very, very soon. Take it easy fam.

Natalie (01:03:55):
Bye.

Outro (01:03:56):
Yo, what’s up guys? You’ve been listening to The Think Different Theory with myself, Josh Forti, which I like to call, “A new paradigm of thinking”, and real quick, I got a question for you. Did you like this episode? If you did, I want to ask a huge favor. See, the biggest thing that helps this podcast grow, and that will spread this message of positivity and making the world a better place, is if you leave a review, a rating and subscribe to the podcast. What that does is, it basically tells the platforms that this is out on, that you like my stuff, and that I’m doing something right. So if you could take like three seconds out of your day and subscribe, leave a rating, and a review, I would be forever grateful for you. Also, I want to hear from you. I want to know your feedback, your ideas, and your questions for future episodes. So be sure to hit me up on Instagram in the DM @JoshForti or via email contact@ThinkDifferentTheory.com