WHAT IS THIS EPISODE ABOUT?
In this episode, I’m going to get super raw and real with you. I recorded this episode when I was having “a day”.
I was going through things in my life where I had to go back and make right wrongs with people in my past. I had to do some hard things that were uncomfortable and I recorded this when I was in a really vulnerable and in raw place so that people can hear and feel my true emotions.
I really hope this helps someone do the same, so they can live with freedom and peace. This is a “Special Edition” episode so enjoy.
WHY SHOULD I LISTEN?
It can be so challenging to deal with conflict and uncomfortable situations, and I think a lot of us have the tendency to avoid those things rather than face them head on. Choosing the right thing usually means choosing the hard thing, but it’s so incredibly worth it when you come out the other side.
Here are the key topics discussed in this episode:
- The problem with pleasing everyone (1:30)
- Being afraid of the public eye (3:00)
- Seeing the positive side in everything (5:00)
- Playing the long game (10:30)
- Always do the right thing (13:00)
WHERE CAN I LEARN MORE?
Be sure to follow me on the below platforms:
WHEN DID IT AIR?
February 22, 2019
Be sure to follow me on Instagram @joshforti
You can find the transcripts and more at www.thinkdifferenttheory.com/29
You can find this episode plus all the previous episode here
Be sure to grab a copy of The Mindshift Playbook here
If you haven’t already, please rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts!
Remember to hit me up on Instagram in the DMs @Joshforti to tell me what you found to be important in this podcast!
What’s up guys, welcome back to another episode of The Think Different Theory. My name is Josh Forti and I’m actually not sure what episode this is going to be. It’s kind of like a special edition episode, I guess. And, you know, I’m going to get into more of that here in just a second. But with this podcast, my goal has always been, and will continue to be transparency and honesty and really documenting my journey through life and sharing those struggles with you. The good, the bad, the highs and the lows.
And I wanted to hop on here real quick. This is not a recording session – I just had “a day”. And it’s been a really rough day. And it’s been one of those things where everything continues to build. And it’s been building up for, I don’t know, probably the last week or so.
And I just wanted to kind of talk about this. And that’s why I have no idea where this is going to fall in the podcast line-up. I’m not sure what episode is going to be. But I just I needed to turn on the microphone. And I needed to record my thoughts. Because I think this is a super duper important message that so many of us need to hear. Because I know it’s something that I am struggling with. And in all that I have gone through I try to have a mindset that’s very positive, and try to have a mindset that, you know, sees the bright side and the good side of things, but I want to share just some things that I’m going through, and just be real and vulnerable with you guys here for a for a minute.
Let’s just dive in a so for those of you that have been following the podcast and have been following me for any amount of time, you kind of know, my background. I got started in the social media space a while ago, three years ago, or so, a lot of moving around and, and learning through the process of everything, and, you know, making a lot of transitions into the public eye.
You know, sometimes it was confusing, sometimes I think people didn’t know what I was going to do next. They didn’t know, you know, what, even what to expect from me sometimes, which is, which is fine. I mean, I’m learning and growing and, you know, building companies and learning all about social media, but for a while, you know, in my life, I tried to please a lot of people and, you know, that wasn’t the answer. And I knew that, but it was hard to overcome.
And so my first solution to that problem in life and in business as well even was not to make commitments to certain people; was to not, you know, do deals or business deals; was to not hang out with certain people, or even, you know, maintain any, like deep, deep commitment or relationships with people. And it was, you know, much more light-hearted to be perceived, as you know, likeable. And, you know, someone that is easy to get along with, and I wanted to know, everyone, I wanted to kind of network with everyone. And I was really afraid to make enemies and not that, you know, people were, you know, going to, like, hate me or whatnot.
But I was afraid of the public eye, and what they were going to think of me if, you know, I failed at something, or I was going to be able to fall through, or it didn’t come out, I doubted my ability to follow through on certain things sometimes. And so I wouldn’t make the deal. I would only, you know, like, I would only do things or promise things, whether it be in business or my personal life or, you know, things, there were emails that I would just kind of go, and I would just kind of hoped would go away because I wanted to avoid controversy. And, you know, growing up, I wasn’t like that. But, you know, as my life progressed, and, you know, and I became this person that tried to avoid these controversial things, I wasn’t willing to face it.
And this is kind of building off of. Actually, it’s very much building off of episode, I believe it’s Episode 16, which was, “Why Am I So Lazy?”. And if you haven’t listened to that go back, I think it’s Episode 16. It’s called “Why Am I So Lazy”. And I would just avoid these things. And it started piling up in my life, because I figured that if I just didn’t do them, then I wouldn’t have any stress.
And that stress could go away. And then life would be hunky dory. And then I realized that the less I did, the more I was filling my time with other useless things, or I was still stressed about the things that I was avoiding.
And things built up. And I did it long enough to where it kind of, it kind of felt like, there was an illusion that it was working for a while. And as I went through, and as I developed more about, you know, who I was, and who I was becoming, and I made this shift in business, I had to take myself very seriously. And I, you know, I’m in the consulting space now, and taking things very seriously and, you know, dealing with issues that are arising and facing them head-on. And really, I’ve had to go and make this shift of actually dealing with problems and being okay with being super uncomfortable.
And I’ve had to go back to, to old wounds, and have to go back to, you know, dark places that I was trying to avoid, and really address those things. And instead of trying to be a friend to everyone, and, you know, just going to be light-hearted and outgoing and, you know, making exceptions for everyone, or like the business deals that I would do, or the assumption is that I would do it, people,
I’d go out of my way; I’d be overly flexible, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And maybe I would follow through with them, maybe I wouldn’t, and, you know, other things that I didn’t follow through with, you know, necessarily, when I would go and follow through and try to go over the top too, like, make it up form or whatnot, which, you know, I do think you should make things right. But it wasn’t healthy. It was it was unbalanced. And people didn’t really know what to expect from me a lot of the times, and it was, it was frustrating for them, I assume. And I know, for me as well. But then when I when I finally faced the truth, when I finally face reality, and, and got, you know, got clear with this, you know, things started falling into place. But it made me go back and visit those uncomfortable situations. These things happened and I started doing this several months ago, and take myself very seriously. End of 2000, late 2000, I ended up late later on in 2018, and I’m taking myself seriously. And what I noticed was that some of the friendships that I had with these people, they didn’t treat me the same anymore.
And I felt like people maybe thought negatively of me anymore or were kind of judging me a different way, or they were treating me different now. And, you know, they saw things, and they weren’t as nice to me, or I know they would be talking about me behind my back. Because I would hear certain things from other people and, you know, this really had moved me the wrong way. And I had not to do a lot to get over that. Because I’m, you know, very much trying to be focused on not comparing myself to other people. And normally, I’m good at it. But there are days when it creeps up.
There are days when even people with the best mindsets. And I’m not saying that I have the best mindset in the entire world by any means. But I do believe that I have a good mindset and a very positive attitude. And actually recently, I went through a test where I went around and ask 10 people that are very close to my life. And I’ll probably do a podcast episode on this, but to talk to me about my strengths and my weaknesses. And one of the things that people said was, you know, your mindset is good; you stay positive.
And like, they’ve never seen anyone that can see the positive and bright side in every situation; I’ve trained my mind to do that. But even people like that, even people like me, have these down days and have these things where all of a sudden, it feels like, the weight of the world is on your shoulders, and you’re like, Oh, my gosh, like, just nobody like me, does, you know, like, does everybody think I’m crazy?
Does everyone you know, think this or whatnot, and, and you just get worried. And, you know, my initial response would be to go, back before I matured, and figure out how to deal with these things. I was trying to sweet talk people into things and kind of go and like, just schmooze them and be like, Oh, yeah, checking in, they could share Oh, yeah, totally get to that, or whatnot, rather than actually just addressing the issue facing had ongoing. Okay, here’s a rap because what we’re doing taking it in solving it, and very organized and orderly fashion, especially in business. And for those of you that are not in business, this applies in your personal life as well, dealing with the situations and how to go back and do that.
And most of my life is business relationships and contacts; and going back and making those things right. And just dealing with them and saying, here’s what we do, here’s how it is. And it’s a shift, it’s hard, because you’re used to like having good conversations with people, and you send like a very serious email, you want to sound serious, and you want to sound, you know, like, you’re taking it seriously. And it feels weird, feels awkward. But regardless of what that is, you have to power through with that.
And you have to, like, just know that that’s the right thing to do. And that’s how you’re going to address those issues; you got to be okay, with going back and digging into those super uncomfortable situations. And listening to that message that you know, that voice clip or whatever, from someone that you don’t want to listen to, or you’re just trying to avoid or respond to that text that you don’t want to respond to.
Or, you know, calling that person back that keeps calling you or, you know, you have to make things right, with or going back and replying to an email getting people over, maybe even making a payment that you have, you know, default on all these things are hard. And I had to go back and do each one of those things in with emails and texts and messages wherever and go back in and make those things right.
And it’s hard. It’s not easy; it does bring a level of stress. But once you actually power through and get through this. And it’s not once again, there’s no instant gratification from this, you may feel better. Like once you send the email, I kind of like oh it’s great it is off my chest. But like a lot of times, it’s multiple messages, it might take days or weeks or months to be able to solve that problem. And, you know, those are things that I’m going through right now. And trying to figure out and trying to go and go back and you’ll follow up with things and make things right and go through things. And a lot of times, you might feel like you didn’t even do anything wrong. And maybe you didn’t, you know, maybe you’re not in the wrong, but maybe you know, you were the contact person, or you were you know, you could have done a better job of making things right, or making certain things left on a good note.
And, you know, doing that, and that’s what you’ve got to do. And it’s something that I’m going through, I’ve had to do, I’m continuing to work on in my life right now. And going through those struggles and those issues. And so it’s hard. And I just really wanted to get on here and document this process of going through that. And, you know, talk to you about like, it’s not easy, it’s so, so, so hard. And we all go through it. Most people just won’t admit it, and they won’t talk about it. And, you know, it’s something that I think we need to bring more awareness to.
Because you do have to do the right thing, you do have to make things right. And, you know, your reputation is all that you have. And you want to maintain a good reputation; you want to you know, and I think it’s really important.
Understand that. Money can be taken away money, you can make more or lose more, and you know, material things, whatever that thing is. But your reputation is the only thing that like you like that you truly really have to your name that people view you negatively, you know, or that there are things that are weighing on your conscious from that that you can go and make. Right. It’s one of those things where you just going to, you going to go and actually do that and be okay with being uncomfortable for a while. And it’s going to be the most freeing thing. And I know I’ve had to do this in the past. And you know, oftentimes, absolutely, I know I had to do in the past.
And in the past, it has taken days, weeks, months, even years before I see the payoff of it. But I know when that day comes in, I look back, and I go, I am so glad that I did that I am so glad that I mended the relationship with that person. I’m so glad I took care of that issue. I have clarity. I can focus on. I know what steps I’ve taken care of issues in my past,
I have, you know, not going on. And you can’t dwell on those issues. You can’t, you know, like be letting those things haunt you for the rest of your life. Do what you can to make those things right. And be okay with the outcome of the other person. Remember that, okay, you have to be okay with what the other person says. Because you can’t control the outcome, you can only do the best that you can do.
And sometimes that’s really, really difficult. And there’s a lot that you have to go through and go into. And maybe you have to pay money. Or maybe you have to go, you know, volunteer somewhere. Or maybe you have to go through and do something that’s uncomfortable for you. But then there are other times when maybe you weren’t at fault.
And, you know, there, I know, there are issues where I’m not at fault. And it’s not necessarily my responsibility to, you know, follow through with something, but it is my responsibility to make sure that situations, right, if the person is still mad at you, the person’s ignoring you won’t respond to you, or, you know, is very mad at you. And the response, you know, responsive to you and still yelling at you. And you’ve done everything that you can do.
You’ve got to be okay with that and accept that and, and move on making; after you make sure it make sure that you’ve done everything you can like, give it your all, and you know, that’s what I’m trying to do with the with these things going back. And like Okay, this one is I’ve done everything that I possibly can and just you know, making sure that those things are you in place and being okay with whatever it is.
It is hard. I hate rejection. I absolutely hate rejection is the worst thing in the world. I’m an extrovert and want people liking me. And having that rejection is super duper hard. Especially around people that used to be your friends. People used to be very close to you people you’d be able to trust not having those things anymore. It hurts, it is hard. But you’ve got to do it. And you’ve got to be okay with it.
And get to that place in your life. So you are able to let go move on and be refreshed because you can’t let those things tie you down. And you can never get where you want to be in life. And I recognize that my own life as well I can ever get where I want to be if I have dirt and things in the past that are holding me back or things that I’m ignoring that need to be taken care of. Both in life and in business and really in all areas of your life.
So I just wanted to hop on here with all these thoughts were fresh as we were going through as I was going through these things and thinking about them. And you know, having to go through and take care of some of these things that you know have come up that you know as I’ve gone through and you know working in the business owner relationships of surface or things or messages that have come up and I’m like, I going to go take care of that. Going to go take care of that got it you got to make sure that I’ve done everything that I can out that super painful. I got a reply to that email up. He’s not going to like the way I’m going to reply to this. But I going to hold firm here can’t go out of my way and kind of take things seriously, even if that means the relationship is going to change. Always, always, always, always do what’s right; always do what’s right. There’s never a time when it’s okay to not do the right thing.
Always do the right thing and always do the next right thing; then you’re going to live a much more stress-free life or guilt-free life and a much more fulfilled life. Even if there’s some stress that does ultimately come with that, you know, in the immediate it’s going to pay off dividends and leaps and bounds and tenfold and a hundredfold in the long run.
So just want to get on here say that and document it. I really hope this helps somebody and that that this resonates with you. It’s hard it is not easy, and it’s something that you do as you mature and have to go through doesn’t make you a bad person. We all are learning and going through life.
All right, if this helps you let me know the DM let me know if this resonated with you. I really hope that it does and I’m going to get back to it here, but you know thank you guys so much for listening. Thank you guys so much for you know subscribing, and you’re rating interviews, and podcasts just mean the world to me so much so thank you thank you thank you for that.
As always hustle-hustle; God bless. Do not be afraid to think differently because those of us that think differently will change the world and with that act differently as well. Don’t just think it – act it, do it and actually follow through with what you said you were going to do. All right. I love you all, and I will see you on the next episode.
Take it easy fam. Peace.