Think Different Theory

How to Become the Person You Need to Be – CYDL Mini Series Pt. 3


In today’s episode, we are on part three of the 6-day mini-series, “Design Your Dream Life” and I’m going to talk about the most important shift that I made in my life that allowed me to actually create my dream life.

We are going to dive into my you must kill the old version of yourself if you want any chance at achieving the goals that make up your dream life.


No matter how hard I tried, I just wasn’t getting traction in certain areas of my life and with certain habits. I started asking successful people about their secrets to achieving their goals, and their answers led to a realization that changed everything.

Here are the key topics discussed in this episode:

  • What I learned from the world’s best (01:15)
  • Why it’s hard to achieve goals in as your current self (6:00)
  • The video that brought clarity on how to kill my old self (8:05)
  • The whiteboard exercise to envision the future (10:11)
  • How to map out the person you must become (13:16)
  • The questions you must know about your future self (16:21)
  • How to get rid of distractions (19:10)
  • Killing your old self to get what you want in life (23:00)


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March 8, 2019


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There are so many people out there that miss this and that they don’t understand this because nobody is talking about it. And I recently did a presentation on this to about 200 people. And afterward, so many people came up to me and said, “This was the missing piece”. This was the thing that they didn’t realize. And it had nothing to do with funnels, or offers, or making money, or anything like that, but it’s the crux and the core of being successful, and what you have to do to get where it is that you want to get.

(0:32)  You are now entering a new paradigm. So here’s my issue. I wanted to find the answers to life’s biggest questions, things like how do I become happy and live with purpose? How do I make more money doing what I love and what does it mean to be truly successful in all areas of life. My name is Josh Forti @joshforti on Instagram and I asked life’s biggest questions and share the answers with you. My goal is to help you find purpose happiness and open your mind to new realms.

(1:00)   The possibility by helping you think differently about everything you do know and understand on this podcast we think different we dream bigger and we live in a world without minutes This is a new paradigm. Welcome to The Think Different Theory.

(1:17)  What’s going on guys?  Welcome back to another episode of The Think Different Theory. My name is Josh Forti and we are on episode number 35.  Welcome back to the program. Excited for today because today’s episode we get to go through something that I’m very passionate about. It’s one of my favorite things to talk about and discuss and quite frankly, it’s that thing that nobody’s really talking about. A lot of times when people say that it’s like oh yeah no one’s really talking about it, it’s like the cliche saying but in all reality a lot of people that I talked to that are at a very high level – seven-figure, multi seven-figure, eight-figure earners – people that have been able to go out and create their dream business…

(2:00)  Excuse me, create their dream life. They’re the ones that talk about this in like their inner circles. And they’re the ones that talk about this with their students. But, nobody’s putting out content about this. Nobody’s talking about this particular thing and putting it out there. Because quite frankly, it’s not as sexy as some of the other things, but it really is that secret sauce. I believe it. It really is that thing that all great entrepreneurs and all great successful people have and have done to get where they’re at. And what’s interesting is some people don’t even recognize or realize that this is the thing that they went through the process, that they went through to get there. Some people do and just don’t talk about it. Some people do and like they don’t understand it. And once you understand this, no matter who you are, no matter where you’re at, if you go through this process, and you do this for your life, and what you do, you’re going to be able to come out the other side and really truly designed that dream life of yours. And really, truly designed that dream business that dream career, that dream hobby, whatever that thing is that you’re trying to create right now…

(3:00)  when it comes to building and creating your dream life. So, we’re right now we’re on day three of our mini-series we started a couple of days ago. And we talked about in the first series, we talked about why it’s so important to believe and why you should believe that this is possible. Because belief is at the core of everything that we do. We have to believe it’s possible or else we can’t actually make it happen. And I talked about why you should believe that it’s possible and the changes in our society, in our culture, the way we learn, the way we buy, that it makes this possible, the internet and why that makes it possible, and also that you have everything within you. And so that was very, very important. And then the next thing that we talked about in day number two of it was we talked about creating the clarity of the immediate and then the clarity of the long term vision. And we talked about how it’s so important to have that clarity and if you don’t have the clarity of what you want to do, why you should try new things and really give yourself permission to try new things because that’s so important as well – giving yourself permission to go try different things and…

(4:00)  experiment and test and being okay with not just focusing on one thing right now or not knowing what you want to do, but experimenting and trying and following through on things until you find the thing that you ultimately want to do. And now today, I really want to talk about actually going and designing your dream life and becoming the person that you need to become in order to do that. Now, as we dive into this, I have a question.  Have you ever tried to do something and you’ve ever gone and been like, today’s the day I’m going to go and build my funnel or today’s the day I’m going to go and wake up on time and today’s the day I’m going to start working out every single day, five days a week or today’s the day that I’m going to go and whatever start this diet, start doing whatever it is and maybe last today, maybe last week but you always fall off you always are not able to complete and follow through kinda like that New Year’s resolution. You make them but you’re never actually able to follow through with them and you get really frustrated with yourself.

(5:00)  And you’re like, maybe I’m just not the person that’s capable of doing that. Or I don’t know what it’s going to take. But I feel lost. Have you ever felt that way? You ever felt like “Ahhhhh”?

(5:09)  This is the time and you keep telling yourself that over and over, over again. This is the day, this is the day. And you maybe you’ve done it for weeks. Maybe you’ve done it for years. Who knows how long you’ve done it, but you’ve tried to set so many goals and you’ve never been able to follow through with them. You ever felt that way? Well, guess what, I felt that way as well. In fact, I’ve started and tried so many different things that I was never able to follow through with. And I remember as I look back on my story, and I go back to the time where I had just sold my business to my business partner. I was out on my own. There was an entire year there where I tried to start and stop new things. And I just couldn’t do it. It would last for a week. It would last for a month. But I always defaulted to either not doing the things that I wanted to do or doing the things that I didn’t want to do. And this was a really hard process for me because I felt like I was just running in circles and I felt like it can never get ahead. I felt like…

(6:00)   You know, unless something changes, I’m always going to be this person. And I couldn’t even imagine like, you’re not doing those things in my life like I wanted to. I wanted to be able to go and, you know, stop doing the bad habits and the things that I didn’t want to do and start doing successful habits. But I didn’t even know what that looked like. And I didn’t even know if it was possible for me to achieve that. I literally like I believe that it wasn’t possible for me at times, because I had tried so many different ways and so hard and I was never able to follow through. And so I was on this journey of trying to figure this out. I started studying what it meant to be successful, and how successful people think, and how successful people act. And one of the things that I noticed was so many people were out there saying, hey, you’ve got to study successful people and you’ve got to live the life that they’re living or do the habits that they’re doing. If they’re waking up early, you should be waking up early. If they’re investing their money in one place, you should be looking at that as well. Like all those different things and like having the habits of successful people.

(7:00)   But nobody was talking about the fact that they had to become that person and that’s not how they always were. And so as I would go out, and I would study an interview and talk to these successful people, I would ask them, like, what are you doing on a daily basis, you know, they would all tell me like the certain things and different things that they were doing. But I started to recognize that in their story, when I actually listened to it, that’s not the person that they were when they got started. In fact, almost all of them that I actually talked to and listen to, as I traveled around the country. And as I really started studying this, as I went through, and I would fly to Las Vegas, and I would fly to Miami. And I literally remember like, sitting in and either casino/ hotel lobbies, or, you know, out in a big conference room lobbies and I would be asking these successful people like, how did you become this? What were you like before this? What was that process? What did it look like for you? And I noticed that so many of them didn’t start out the way they were, but most of them started out just like me. And so this was very interesting to me.

(8:00 )  I was like, Well, how did they go and make that transition and cut out the things and I’m not able to? If that’s the secret, I don’t think I’m capable of doing that. And then as I started this more and more, I realized, or I should say, I found a video by a guy named Sam Ovens. And this is probably the first place that I heard this said, was the concept of killing this old person and becoming a new person. And I thought this was very interesting because all the sudden this idea of me being able to go and achieve these habits are things that I was not capable of doing right now starting to make a little bit more sense. And so he was giving this example of how he had to kill the old version of himself and really become this new person. And he told his story and it felt very similar to mine. He went and he was talking about how, you know, he was struggling with different things like waking up on time, and spending and blowing money and not being able to get ahead and all these things and I’m like, oh my gosh! That sounds like me. And that’s exactly where I was at.

(9:00)   I would literally, you know, have a thousand dollars in my bank account when I would kick into gear and be able to make $5000 or $10,000 or $20,000 right away, and then it would like peak there. And then I would kind of not do any work until it got down low again. And then once it got down to a point I would kick back into gear and make more money again, and then it would get back down low. And it was just a constant cycle. And it was like that in all areas of my life. Some weeks I could be on fire some days, I could be on fire some days, it would just be the worst day ever or the worst week ever. And there was this constant up and down cycle and that related to me that really stuck out and so I started studying what it meant and what he was talking about when he talked about killing this old version of yourself and becoming this new person. And then I heard people like Steve Larson talking about it, and Russell Brunson talking about it and all these different people that were successful as I started asking these questions of like, Hey, did you have to, like become a new person? They all were like, Oh, yeah, totally. Like, I’m not the person that I was. And that’s when it all clicked for me. And I realized that oh my gosh, the person that I am right now is actually not capable…

(10:00)  of achieving the goals and desires that I had and that I want. And so I remember actually watching a video, this was several months after I kind of discovered this. But I watched a video by Alex Becker that explained this really perfectly. And imagine there are two people like side by side on a whiteboard, like just stick figures or whatever, and the person on the left is you. And underneath that person, you have your current goals and desires and aspirations of what you are able to achieve or what you believe you are able to achieve. So maybe like this person, the current you is capable of making $50,000 a year and a job, driving an okay car, having a house with a mortgage and just living a very average life. That’s the only thing that you right now, based on your current habits and current desires and goals and who you are, that’s all you’re capable of achieving. And then underneath the second person, there’s a new set of goals and this new set a goal is your actual goals and ambitions long term like this is what you want to do with your life you want to make

(11:00)  several million dollars, you want to have a successful business, you want to go and travel, you want to do all these different things. But the person you are right now is not capable of achieving that. And that’s actually a very scientific and psychological level. Like, you’re actually not able to. The way your brain is programmed in the way your brain is wired, you’re always going to default back to your current habits, because you actually have to go through and reprogram your mind by really identifying what it is that you want. What was interesting to me was, as I started to study this more, I recognize that you actually had to become a new person, that person on the right-hand side of the whiteboard that is able of accomplishing those goals. So you right now have to die to yourself. You right now have to kill your old habits. I’m going to talk about how we go about doing that. And you have to determine what habits you need to kill and what new habits you need to put into place. And so I became fascinated with this concept that I started studying cybernetics and I started studying quantum physics.

(12:00)  Quantum physics was an amazing eye-opener for me. And if you didn’t listen to that episode and believe it was episode #27, if you go back there, you can check it out. But episode #27, we talked all about just that quantum physics. And I talked about how when you understand that at a very core level, this concept of killing the old self and becoming a new person makes a whole lot more sense, so go back and listen to that episode. Now, once I realized that my eyes are open, I was like, This is so exciting. Now the question was, who is it that I need to become? And so as I had this realization, I remember sitting there going okay, well, who is the person that I need to become? How do I even determine what that person looks like? Who that looks like? What like what is that? What characteristics and quality does that person have? Who are they? What does that person possess that I don’t? How do I become that?

(13:00)  This question constantly rolled around in my head as I started recognizing that I needed to become a new person. And I realized that in order for me to become a new person, I first had to figure out where I currently was at. And with a fascinating thing about this is this is tied in very closely with marketing. And we’ll talk about this next episode with learning skills. But when we do marketing, when we build the business, what we have to do is we need to look at our customer. And we need to ask the question of where are they currently at in their life and in their business? And then where is the desired situation that they want to be? And then what vehicle are we going to use to get them there? Is that a salesman? Is that Facebook ads, is that photography, is that a weight loss program? Like what is it where they currently at? Where’s their desired result, what vehicle they’re going to use to get there? And so I applied a very similar concept to where I was at now, and I recognized in order for me to go anywhere I first have to identify who I am and where I am at in my current life now.

(14:00)  I got brutally honest with myself. And some of you have maybe heard me talk about this before. Maybe you listen to the last episode where I did talk about this on a previous episode, but I got on a piece of paper. And for me, it was a Google Doc, and I started writing down everything about my current life. And I wrote down where I currently live and how much money I have and how much money I make. And my current career, what type of clothes that I wear, what books I read, what music I listen to, what my habits are, what time I wake up, what time I go to bed, who I hang out with, what kind of food that I eat, what do I do on weekends, what does my schedule and my routine look like, what are my biggest fears, what are my biggest struggles, what characteristics do I possess that I don’t want? You know, what traits and habits do I have that I don’t want? And what habits do I wish I had? What are my strengths and list out 5 or 10 different things that I’m really good at and I really crafted this model, this version, on paper of how I was now.

(15:00)  So that if you would have read that off, I would have been like, yeah, that’s me and that accurately describes me. And I got super clear on that. Because now I have a basis to go off of. And I can measure my results now. And in three months from now, six months from now, a year from now, I can get really clear on, okay, how far have I progressed? How much have I gotten done? And so the next thing that I did is I went and I was like, okay, what’s the next step in this process, and most people would recommend Ok, the next thing that you have to do is you have to determine who it is that you need to become, and then go become that person. But I think there’s one more step in there that’s absolutely crucial for success. And I really think that helped me and will help you tremendously as well. And that is before determining the person that you need to become, you first have to determine the life that you want to live and in this episode, this step of the journey now that you’ve gone through and you’ve tested 3 or 4 or 10 or 20 different things and determined what it is that you ultimately want to do now

(16:00)   It’s time for you to actually draw out what your dream life looks like. How many days a week do you want to work? How many hours a day do you want to work? Do you want to have employees? Not have employees? Do you want to travel or not travel? Do you want have an office? Do you want to have kids? Do you want to be really good at surfing? Do you want to be good at the piano? What does your day today day look like? What is your week to week look like? What is your month a month look like? And really design and really craft out all elements of that because now that you got really clear on this. Now, all you have to do in step number 3 is go and become and really lay out the person that fits that lifestyle. See what most people do is they go… Who am I? Who do I want to become? What life do I want to live? But really it’s the reverse. It’s Who am I? What life do I want to live? Who do I need to become in order to fill in that life?

(17:00)  So, we’re sitting here creating our dream life and that’s the next question. So you ask yourself, how much money do you want to be making? How are you going to be making your money? Are you an investor? Do you own a business? Are you a coach? Do you work for a job? Do you have every single element of your dream life so that now you can go out and create that. Then, the final step is to then build and craft out the person that you need to become in order to go live that life now you write out and create the avatar of all right future version of your name here makes ‘X’ number of dollars because that’s the amount of money that you make in your dream life for you need to sustain your dream life. You have this job or career or business. You wear these clothes, you hang out with these people, you read these type of books, you consume this type of content. Your habits look like this, you possess these traits. You don’t have these negative traits that you currently have now, and you really get clear on that person

(18:00)   You make sure that person is the person that is capable of achieving the goals of your dream life. And now, since you have this vision. Now, since you are going out there, and you understand, first off the life that you’re creating, but now, more importantly, the person that you need to become. All the sudden this becomes real and you’re going to have so much more endurance and focus to be able to become that person because you can draw that out and you can visualize that you can put it up on your wall. And what I recommend telling people to do is to make it as real as possible. Really start envisioning and feeling what those things are. Tell friends, tell family, tell your spouse, your husband, your wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, your best friend. Tell people that this is who you’re becoming that this is the life that you’re going to live because when you go and just it’s almost like manifestation but it’s like when you go and tell everyone around you and you start to optimize your life and envision a future where that is already a reality because of the law of quantum physics.

(19:10)  Which, once again, go back and listen to Episode 27. The universe, the energy of the world is going to come together and allow those things to start happening. And you’re now going to have the focus to go, Okay, I need this next step, and Luna, achieve this next goal. People are watching me, I’m going to make this very real. And then start putting habits in your life to go out and make that a reality and start cutting out distractions in your life and go identify the source of distractions and get rid of them. If you really struggle with watching Netflix, don’t just turn off Netflix, go cancel your Netflix account. If you still get distracted, get rid of your TV. One of the things I really struggled with for a while was social media on my phone. And so not only logged out on social media, I deleted all of social media apps on my phone.

(20:00)   Now on my computer, I’ve got this thing called Self Control where I could lock myself out of websites for designated periods of time. So, there was literally absolutely no way that I could get on social media for 3,4,5,6 hours at a time. I took the distraction and I got rid of it at its core. And I just kept telling myself every single time I had that urge, ‘Hey, no, this is the future self that I’m going to become’. And I put that out there. I stated it out loud. I’ve told people about it, and I optimize my life to actually go and become that person. And that’s step number three in our process is getting very, very clear on first off where you’re at now. Second, the life that you want to live. And third, the person that you need to become in order to achieve those goals and then optimize everything in your life to that. The reason that so many people fail and the reason that so many people are not able to follow through is not that they’re not capable of it.

(21:00) It’s because they don’t even know where it is that they’re going, well they aren’t capable of a capable of it with their current body but they are able to become that person. But the reason that they don’t ever become the person that is capable of it is that they don’t even know where it is that they’re going. And so they’re just trying to become some random person. And when you’re like, I’m gonna go exercise and work out. But there’s no reason behind that there’s no clear goal in your mind and out there in the universe and out there in the energy fields, to make that happen, then you’re never going to be able to follow through because now it’s just a random goal, and there’s no actual purpose behind it. There’s no follow through. There’s no reason to follow through. So really take that and become crystal clear on that. Go back and listen to Episode 27 on why quantum physics is important and how it works and everything of that nature. And this is going to make a lot more sense. So your homework per se are the things that you really want to focus on here and do is write out who you are.

(22:00)   The life that you want to live, and who you have to become to live that life. And take a day, take a week, take some time to really, really think about this. This took me a long time to really identify and craft out. And it might be that way for you as well. And that’s okay. I struggled with it and it constantly evolved for months as I really got more and more clear on who that person was. But when you do this, so many other things are going to fall in line and if you’re like, I don’t know where I want to be yet. I don’t know what that dream life looks like yet. Then carve out and customize, you know, what’s the next month going to look like for you? What specifically do you need to learn in order to figure out what it is that that you need to know to know what your dream life is going to look like and the person that you need to become. Try things and follow through, but always have that clear plan and do whatever it takes to be able to stick through with that by first getting clear, and then eliminating distractions sources. All right? If you have any questions on this whatsoever, please hit me up on Instagram @joshforti if you want more clarification on this.

(23:00)  But this is absolutely crucial. You need to understand that you have to kill the old version of you. You can’t just go and be like, Oh, I’m gonna put it aside for a while or, you know, put it in the backseat. No, you literally have to kill that version and break those habits, and cut yourself off from it and become this new person. So if you’re addicted to Netflix, and the new version of yourself doesn’t watch Netflix, kill it. Get rid of it. Never go back. Never even looked back. Just continue focusing on what it is that you’re doing. Kill the old, become the new around the life that it is that you want to live. Alright guys, as always, hustle, hustle. God bless. Do not be afraid to think different because those of us that think different are going to be the ones that changed the world. I love you all and I will see you on the next episode.

Take it easy fam. Peace.