Think Different Theory

How to Overcome Feeling “Unworthy”

WHAT IS THIS EPISODE ABOUT?

In today’s episode, I’m going to talk about the feeling of unworthiness with regard to making money. This is something that affects a lot of us, myself included, and I’m going to tell you about my own struggle with it and how I overcame it.

WHY SHOULD I LISTEN?

It all begins with the beliefs you’ve formed over time from your life experiences and emotions, and once you believe that you are not capable of making a lot of money, or that it’s wrong to make a lot of money, then that limits you from achieving the success that you have to potential to achieve, but in this episode I will teach you how to create new unlimiting beliefs, so don’t miss it.

Here are the key topics discussed in this episode:

  • Limiting beliefs of money (01:17)
  • Feeling unworthy of making a lot of money (03:50)
  • Self-sabotage (07:02)
  • Overriding limiting beliefs by forming new ones (10:22)
  • The association between beliefs and emotions (13:54)
  • Getting around successful people that are helpful (19:50)
  • Reprogramming yourself and developing a fresh perspective (20:34)

WHERE CAN I LEARN MORE?

Be sure to follow me on the below platforms:

Subscribe to the podcast on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Stitcher.

Instagram @joshforti

Facebook

YouTube

WHEN DID IT AIR?

March 27, 2019

EPISODE LINKS:

Be sure to follow me on Instagram @joshforti

You can find the transcripts and more at www.thinkdifferenttheory.com/43

You can find this episode plus all the previous episode here.

If you haven’t already, please rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts!

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

00:00          You know, you can hear the voices in the back of your head saying “I’m not worth it. I’m not worth $5,000 a month. I’m not worthy of making $10,000 a month.” $20,000 a month seems to be the plateau for a lot of people. And it’s like, “I can’t…, I’m not worthy of making more than $20,000 a month, because that’s a bad thing. Money is evil.” And even though you know it’s not, it’s subconsciously programmed into the back of your head. You can hear your parents’ voices. Ever felt that way?

00:29          You are now entering a new paradigm. So, here’s my issue. I wanted to find the answers to life’s biggest questions. Things like, how do I become happy and live with purpose? How do I make more money doing what I love, and what does it mean to be truly successful in all areas of life? My name is Josh Forti @JoshForti on Instagram, and I ask life’s biggest questions and share the answers with you. My goal is to help you find purpose, happiness, and open your mind to new realms of possibility by helping you think differently about everything you do, know, and understand. On this podcast, we think different, we dream bigger, and we live in a world without limits. This is a new paradigm. Welcome to The Think Different Theory.

01:17          What’s up guys, welcome back to another episode of The Think Different Theory. My name is Josh Forti, and we are on episode number 43. Welcome back to the program. I’m actually going to get pretty real with you here on this episode here today. I want to talk to you about your limiting beliefs of money, my limiting beliefs of money, and the limiting beliefs that I’ve seen from so many people out there that subconsciously, whether they want to believe this or not, they believe that money is a bad thing, or they believe that they’re not worthy of achieving over a certain amount of money per month, or in their lifetime, and it’s a lot of limiting beliefs that I have seen in myself, and the things that I’ve had to get over. I want to go through this in a way, and not just talk about the limiting beliefs themselves, but I want to talk about how beliefs themselves are formed, and what needs to happen in order for you to overcome a belief, because it’s not just a simple just get over it thing, in fact, it’s much deeper than that.

02:22          It’s actually at a scientific-like psychological level between your mind and your body. And, there’s a chemistry that goes on in there, and there’s things that are firing. And when you understand this, a lot more things kind of fall into place. So, I want to kind of tell you my personal story, and hopefully, you guys can relate to this as well, because I think, at least in my experiences, I’ve been talking to a lot of people. I think a lot of people go through something similar to this. When I first got started into entrepreneurship, I had never made more than $2,000 a month. And my paycheck was, after… you know, after I got like taxes taken out or whatever, my paycheck was about $540 a week in my last job, which comes out to about what, $2,160 a month.

03:07          I watched my dad work his absolute butt off my entire life for… you know, not… he didn’t make a million bucks, right? Like, my dad made some decent money, but I watched people around me work way harder than me at the time, and very, very hard, and only make maybe a six figure salary, or an $80,000 salary, or you know, $60,000 salary working hard. And so in my head, I had been programmed my whole life to think that making a lot of money took a lot of work. And so, you know, when I was younger, I was like, “I’m gonna make a lot of money.” Right? And maybe when you were a kid, you thought this too, “I’m gonna make a lot of money. I’m going to go out there, I’m going to build a business. I’m going to chase my dreams, do whatever it was.”

03:50          What the problem was, is when I got to building my dreams, I ran into the biggest roadblock of them all. And it wasn’t a roadblock of information. It wasn’t a roadblock of not knowing what to sell, or how to sell it. It was a roadblock that said, I am not worthy. It was a roadblock that in the back of my mind, if I made a lot of money, I was evil, and I could hear my parents’, or my grandparents’ voices in the back of my head going, “You’re chasing money. That’s evil. That’s wrong. You can’t do that.” And I would get to these points, and you know, at the beginning I felt guilty of even making like, you know, charging $500 for my services. And, you know, that was at the beginning. I was like, “No one’s going to pay me $500, I’m not worthy of $500.”

04:39          And I remember very clearly sitting there, on my bed in my apartment. I lived in Fort Wayne, Indiana, and on Abby Drive 2… I can’t remember my address, but it’s like 2425 or something that, Abby Drive. And, it’s a one bedroom, and I remember sitting in my bedroom, on the phone with this guy who was kind of mentoring me, and he’s like, “Dude, charge more.” And I remember literally sitting there listening to him on the phone and thinking, “I am not worth it. I don’t deserve that much money.” And it was like $500. And so, I like got to this point where I was like going through, and I was telling myself all these limiting beliefs, and eventually, you know, I overcame those, but I didn’t understand how, because all of a sudden, one day I woke up and I was like, making like $3,000 a month.

05:28          And I was like, “Wow, that’s $1,000 more a month than I used to be making.” And then, you know, six months later, or a year later, I was making like $10,000 a month. And then like, sometime early-ish last year, probably…, I don’t remember the exact time-frame, I was cruising along, making about $20,000 a month. And I got stuck there. And so many entrepreneurs do, alright? So many entrepreneurs self-sabotage themselves, from making more money than $10,000 a month, or $20,000 a month, or there’s some…, there’s something and it tends to seem, in my experience, it tends to happen about that $20,000 a month mark, where they self-sabotage and they can never get over it. And I was there, and I was there for the longest time, and I remember watching so many different videos trying to figure out how he’s going to get over it.

06:12          And I thought it was…, you know, maybe if I started Facebook ads or maybe if I, you know, had a better offer, a better product, and no matter what I tried, I couldn’t get over this like hump. And I was like, “Well, how do I…, how was I able to get from $2,000 a month to where I’m at now? Like, how was I initially able to overcome that belief? What happened in my life that allowed me to remove this limiting belief that money was bad, from $500 to a thousand, and then from a thousand to $3000, and then from $3000 to $5000, and $5,000 to $10,000, and then $10,000 to $20,000, but now I’m stuck here. What’s happened before?” Because every single time I would make more money. I remember like…, I was like maybe March, April of last year, I don’t know. We were like, I was off to like a really good start.

07:02          Like that month, in the first like a week, I had made $20,000, and I was like, “I’m going to crush it. I’m finally going to make…, you know, have my first like $60,000 or $70,000 a month. I remember like doing that, and I’m like, “I’m going to crush it.” And you know how much money I made that month? Like $23,000. I self-sabotaged. I couldn’t get over it. And I was like, “How? Like, what’s going on?” And what’s interesting is, I actually started to study the psychology that happens when you like in your brain, that goes on during this time, and how beliefs are made. Because what I realized was, the limiting beliefs that I was having, the things that were going on, why I was self-sabotaging, was a belief issue.

07:45          And I was like, “Well, how do I overcome the false belief that making more than $20,000 a month is a bad thing?” I couldn’t figure out how to solve that issue. And then I started studying how beliefs were formed, and I started studying like, what actually goes on in your mind? And this is about the time that I had my nervous breakdown in life, and that I…, you know, like went through and started studying like psycho-cybernetics and mindset stuff, and you know, through this entire path and eventually it led to quantum physics and all this other stuff, right? And so, I started studying this, and what was fascinating to me, is I learned how beliefs are actually formed. Now, just because you have a belief, does not make that belief true. We all know that, right? We know, some of us in our own lives know that like, “I know that this like, that this belief isn’t true, but I believe it down there.” Money is a perfect example. I know it’s not wrong to make over $20,000 a month, but I know it’s there. And what we have to remember, is that, as I started studying this, beliefs are like energy saving shortcuts in modelling and kind of predicting our environment. So basically, when we form a belief, our brain goes and says, okay, “We had this experience happen.” Alright? So, “This experience happened and we felt certain emotions.” And this is key. Okay? Emotions play a huge role in this. And so your brain forms this pattern or this belief through the emotions that take place during a certain circumstance. And then it forms that belief, and your mind, your brain, literally sends out, like chemicals, like little things in your body. I don’t know what they’re called.

09:26          It’s like…, it’s like a chemical in your body. It fires and sends it down to your body so that you feel a certain way when a certain thing happens, or when a certain belief pops up, you feel like, “Oh, I know. This means this. I know, that making more than $20,000 a month is evil, because my body feels this way”, because your brain is getting off these like, these chemicals in your body, that’s telling your body to act a certain way. So your brain is like, “Oh, you’ve made $20,000  this month? Great.” Send off all the things in your brain that say, “No more. You’re not worthy. You can’t make any more of that.” And it’s actually like a chemical reaction that goes off in your body. And so I was like, “Okay.” So, my brain believes one thing, and no matter how hard I try in my body to do something different, my brain is like sending off so many chemicals.

10:22          And the more I tried to fight it, the more the brain goes, “No, no, no, no. You can’t like, you don’t get to do this, because this is the belief that you formed.” And so like, your brain and your body try to stay in alignment as much as possible. And so in order to do that, the will power of your body is not enough to overcome the chemicals of the brain, because it just keeps firing them. And so I started realizing this and I was like, “Oh my gosh. How do you…, like how am I ever going to overcome this if my brain is firing off chemicals?” And so then I started studying how belief patterns work. And this was very fascinating, how beliefs are formed and how to override and put in a new belief pattern. Cause as I was sitting there on the couch, last year, on the floor crying, and trying to figure out how I was ever going to make more than $20,000 in a month because I was stuck and I couldn’t get over it.

11:12          And maybe you’ve been there, maybe your number is a thousand a month, or $5,000, or $10,000, whatever that number is. And by the way, feel free to hit me up in the DM on Instagram @JoshForti. I’d love to hear where you guys are at with this, and if this isn’t making sense. But as I sat there, I was like, “Okay, how does a belief work?” Now, I wish I had a longer amount of time to kind of explain it, and maybe I can go into this on a further episode, but essentially, what happens in your brain is when you have…, when you form a belief, a belief is tied to an emotion. Okay? So, something happens and you feel a certain way or a certain emotion in that time when it happens. And then, your brain now registers that as a belief that says, “I experienced this emotion, or I was told this emotion, somehow I felt this way and I tie this belief pattern with this emotion.”

12:12          And then your brain knows, send off the chemicals that make you feel that emotion whenever you think about that. So I go, “Okay, well if that’s how a belief pattern is formed, then how do I change my belief pattern?” And the only way to change a belief pattern, is…, let me be sure I got this right. You’ve got to overwrite the current belief pattern by having a new perspective on a said belief that brings with it a stronger emotion than you currently associate with your current belief pattern. Let me say that again, cause that might have been complicated. Okay? So you’ve got this belief pattern, and let’s say for example, I’m just gonna use the $20,000 a month example. Okay? I make $20,000 a month. I cannot get over that hump. If that’s where you’re at right now, listening to this podcast, you’re like, “Okay, I can’t do this.”

13:14          Let’s say you’re my age, I’m just gonna use me as an example. This was me like, I don’t know, eight months ago, nine months ago, or whatever it was, when I couldn’t get over this $20,000 a month hump, right? I believed that I couldn’t…, I wasn’t worthy of making over $20,000 a month. That was my perspective. That was my belief. In order for that belief to change, I have to have a new perspective. Alright? Now, when you go to a conference when you go to maybe hire a mentor, maybe around some people, and your perspective totally changes, right? And you’re like, “Oh my gosh, I am so worth more.” I mean like, “I could totally make $20,000 a month. This person over here is charging $100,000 for this, this person over here is spending millions, this person here…”, and you just like, get a whole brand new perspective and you’re like, “I can totally do this.”

13:54          And then you go back to your house and guess what? You’re still stuck in your own ways. Why? Because perspective alone is not enough. The perspective has to also have emotion with it, and that emotion has to be stronger than the emotion that you currently associate with the belief. But what you also have to take into remembrance is that, if I’m 25 years old, and I’ve had a belief about money, since I was, let’s say, the first time I had a belief about money was when I was eight years old, and that belief has stayed the same from the time I was eight years old to the time I was 25. I now have 17 years worth of emotion that has been associated with money, in that way, in a negative like, “I’m not worth more than 20,000 a month, or I’m not worth more than, you know, I can’t make money without working for it.”

14:42          Whatever your false belief about this is. And so, that new perspective, you also have to experience that emotion that overrides that one. When you’re fighting against 10, 15, 20 years of this in your brain, and you’re like wired that way. That emotion, one emotion is usually not enough. One experience, unless it is an overwhelming…, and this is why like, trauma in people’s lives, is what usually will bring about change because trauma brings a mass emotion. So like for example, when my brother died, just two weeks ago, alright? There were things in my life that I was struggling with, to understand beliefs that I had that I was trying to get over, that when he died, I no longer struggle with them. And there are different things that I did not use to struggle with, that now I do. Why?

15:29          Because my perspective changed, and not only did my perspective change, my emotion that was associated with that perspective was so strong that it overrode all of the old emotion that I believe uncertain things, some for the good, some for the bad, some things that I used to care about heavily, I don’t give a crap about anymore. And some things that I used to be so certain of, about certain things about love, and God, and this forever, now I question, because, “Oh my gosh, I have had a perspective change and I had an emotional thing.” So there are two parts of this. Alright? There are two parts of understanding. In order for your mindset to change on…, and this case that we’re using here, money, you’ve got to have a money perspective change, and a money emotional change. And then, when your brain experiences that new perspective, and that new emotion, now it goes, “Okay, new emotion that was stronger than it. I feel this way. Now, I’m going to associate this belief pattern with that emotion.”

16:29          So, when I go and I…, you know, think of death, I didn’t have anything to relate that to personally, until my brother died. And now when I think of death, I think, “Oh my God, my brother has died.” And that’s the emotion that I associate with that. Or like, loving people. I associate that differently, or why God does certain things I associate differently. Why? Because my belief changed because my perspective and my emotions changed. And so, when it comes to you making money or not feeling worthy about something, I’m using money because I think it’s a very important topic. It’s something that I very much struggled with, and I look at other entrepreneurs. It’s sad because there are limiting their own beliefs, because their emotions and their perspective on what they’ve been doing has been wired so hard, and your emotions can be tied back to your grandparents, your parents, your brothers, your sisters, your best friends telling you that you’re not good enough, telling you that you’re never going to make it telling you that…, and this was the big one for me, if you make a lot of money, it’s evil.” Right?

17:32          In my head, when I grew up, I grew up without money at all. Like, we were really…, I don’t want to say really poor, poor, but we were like, we didn’t have them have any money. Like we were pretty, pretty poor. And, when I would go and I would look at rich people, rich people in my mind were jerks. Rich people were not caring people, were not loving people. And so, growing up, I had this emotion with that and this association, and in order for me to get over this hump, I had to rewire my mind through emotion and perspective. So how did I do that? For me, the solution, the answer to this was getting around successful people, that were good people, and having an emotional connection with them.

18:16          So for example, when I would go to Masterminds and I would hang out with rich people that were really caring, and that also took a genuine interest in me, all of a sudden, the emotions that I felt around that person started to chip away at the emotions that I had about money growing up. And those things started to override those emotions, so my perspective started to believe, or to change. I had emotions associated with that, and my beliefs started to shift, and I was able to lift that barrier. Right? So these things all are going on back in your mind. So you’ve got to…, and I’m not an expert at overcoming and fixing this yet. I’m still figuring it out, right? I still have my own limiting beliefs about money and about this, and about that. We’re probably going to have our best month ever in business this month. Right? You know, this month we’ve already done just…, it’s awesome.

19:09          We’re working on a contract where it’s a quarter million dollars a month in spend contract. And I was like thinking about this as I was sitting down, I was like, “If you would’ve told me that two years ago I was going to be working on like budgets and things this size, I would be like, you’re crazy.” Why? Because my beliefs were different back then than they are now, because my perspective and my emotional experience, hadn’t shifted yet. And so, what I would encourage you to do is, if you’re struggling with this, if you are like, “Man, I don’t feel worthy. I don’t deserve this.” You’ve got to figure out what emotions that you’ve had, what experiences that you have had, that those negative emotions are tied to, and you’ve got to figure out ways to rewrite those.

19:50          For me, it was getting around other people that were successful, that had money, and that cared, because now in my mind I go, “Oh my gosh, you can be rich, you can be successful, and you can care. You don’t have to be a jerk.” Right? In my mind, I’m like, “Oh my gosh, that’s a thing?” Because I saw, and I don’t want to give names or whatever, because, you know, I still love the people very dearly, but like, I saw successful rich people that were even close to me, that weren’t that way. And so for you, whatever it is that’s holding you back, do whatever it takes to get around those. Never underestimate the power of association, and of masterminds, of getting around the right type of people, of relationships. This is why your circle is so important. This is why hanging out with the right people is so important.

20:34          And so for me, this limiting belief mindset, what I had to do, is I had to take a step back, and I had to get out of my own head, and I had to look around and go, “Is this…, is this worth it? Am I worth it?” And then I would ask myself that question, and when I took a step back and looked around, I would go, “Oh my gosh, I am worth it. People will pay me for this. I do deserve this because I put in the work. I have worked hard for this. This isn’t evil. This isn’t bad.” But only when I took a step back, only when I’ve shifted my perspective, and the emotions associated with that perspective, only when all those things fell into place, did that start to change for me. And so, I want to encourage you, the next time that you’re struggling with these limiting beliefs, the next time that you’re struggling with making money, or self-sabotaging because you don’t feel like you’re worth it.

21:24          Don’t beat yourself up over that, but instead take a step back and go, “Okay, why do I feel this way? What has happened in my past that has led me to believe this?” And, figure out why you have experienced the emotions that you have. And it’s not easy, but once you start to search, and once you start to identify, and once you start to take action in that direction, that’s when your life will begin to change. It’s not going to happen overnight. There are some beliefs that you have that are so deeply ingrained in you that they’re going to take months, years, sometimes even decades maybe to reprogram fully so that you never struggled with them again, but it’s not going to change at all if you stay right where you’re at. And so start that searching process, start asking yourself the questions, and then do whatever it takes to reprogram that, to get a fresh perspective, and experience emotion in that perspective, because emotion plays such a key role in this. It is the key. It is the answer.

22:33          So like, don’t… How do I say this? Understand that it’s not just willpower that’s going to make a difference, that you’ve got to have a fresh perspective, and you’ve got to rewrite your emotions because when you rewrite your emotions with a fresh perspective, that’s how you rewrite your beliefs. Alright?

22:51          Alright guys, if you have any questions on this, I would love to answer them for you. Hit me up on Instagram @JoshForti and I’d be happy to answer the questions. Hit me up in the DM on there. I hope this helps. This really has helped me, and the more I hang out with successful people, the more I become like them, the more I become okay with making a lot of money, the more I accept that I am worthy of that, and that I can deserve that, because my belief starts to change, and my belief starts to change, because my perspective starts to change, and my perspective changes, and then I have emotions that associate with that, because I’m constantly looking for new perspectives.

23:30          And if I continue to look for new perspectives, it’s virtually impossible that I don’t have emotions associated with that. And when I find ones that are in alignment with where I want to be at, I double down on that so that those emotions can start chipping away at the emotions that I don’t want to have, so that I can start changing the beliefs that I don’t want to have. Alright?

23:51          Alright guys, as always, hustle, hustle. God bless you. Do not be afraid to think different, because those of us that think different are going to be the ones that change the world. Do something kind for someone today. Love someone today. Smile, pay for someone’s gas, pay for someone’s meal. If you can’t do it with money, just smile and help someone. That’s how we make the world a better place. I love you all and I will see you on the next episode. Take it easy fam. Peace.

24:15          Yo, what’s up guys? You’ve been listening to The Think Different Theory with myself, Josh Forti, which I like to call, “A new paradigm of thinking”, and real quick, I got a question for you. Did you like this episode? If you did, I want to ask a huge favor. See, the biggest thing that helps this podcast grow, and that will spread this message of positivity and making the world a better place, is if you leave a review, a rating and subscribe to the podcast. What that does is, it basically tells the platforms that this is out on, that you like my stuff, and that I’m doing something right. So if you could take like three seconds out of your day and subscribe, leave a rating, and a review, I would be forever grateful for you. Also, I want to hear from you. I want to know your feedback, your ideas, and your questions for future episodes. So be sure to hit me up on Instagram in the DM @JoshForti or via email contact@ThinkDifferentTheory.com.