WHAT IS THIS EPISODE ABOUT?
In this episode, I’m going to talk about the two types of unsuccessful people, which I discovered from watching and talking with hundreds of people at a certain bar.
WHY SHOULD I LISTEN?
My discovery was further solidified by a recent interaction I had with my best friend when I went home to visit friends and family, and I share all my findings with you so you can figure out where you are at and how you can move towards the direction you are supposed to be in, if you’re not already in it.
It’s going to be a life-changing eye-opener, so don’t miss it.
Here are the key topics discussed in this episode:
- The adventurous journey of discovery (01:16)
- The two types of unsuccessful people (02:46)
- The things that hold people back from achieving their goals and dreams (05:28)
- The lack of self confidence and belief in oneself (08:34)
- The four things that drive humans (16:43)
- Inspiring people to do what they love (21:24)
- You have everything you need inside you to be successful (24:01)
WHERE CAN I LEARN MORE?
Be sure to follow me on the below platforms:
WHEN DID IT AIR?
April 10, 2019
Be sure to follow me on Instagram @joshforti
You can find the transcripts and more at www.thinkdifferenttheory.com/49
You can find this episode plus all the previous episode here.
If you haven’t already, please rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts!
00:00 There’s only two types of people that are not successful. And, I was having a conversation over the weekend with one of my best friends in the whole world, and it was…, it was really a life changing conversation, and I thought about it, cause it was a long conversation. I thought about it for a long time afterwards, and I compared it to conversations that I had had with other people that were similar, and it made me realize a lot about human nature, and why certain people are not successful, and just human nature in general. And I want to share that with you on this episode.
00:36 You are now entering a new paradigm.
00:36 So, here’s my issue. I wanted to find the answers to life’s biggest questions. Things like, how do I become happy and live with purpose? How do I make more money doing what I love, and what does it mean to be truly successful in all areas of life? My name is Josh Forti, @JoshForti on Instagram, and I ask life’s biggest questions and share the answers with you. My goal is to help you find purpose, happiness, and open your mind to new realms of possibility by helping you think differently about everything you do, know, and understand. On this podcast, we think different, we dream bigger, and we live in a world without limits. This is a new paradigm. Welcome to The Think Different Theory.
01:16 What’s up guys? Welcome back to another episode of The Think Different Theory. My name is Josh Forti, and we are on episode number 49, and I just got back from a week of traveling. I actually went home over the weekend, or late last week, and hung out with family and friends, and we had all sorts of adventures. In fact, if you’re not following me on Instagram, you missed it all up…, missed all the adventures, but if you are, you’ll know that we had all sorts of fun. I was pretty much off social media, but I kind of shared some highlights. We drove…, my friend of mine is…, it’s crazy. I actually went home because one of my friends wrecked his car, and like caused like a big huge four car pile up. And then his brother burnt down his house the next day. And, so that was like a crazy, crazy scenario that what happened there.
02:08 And so I was out there helping with that. And then, we ended up driving like, three hours in one direction to buy a new car for my buddy. And, it turns out that we didn’t even get the car. And so we’re like, what the heck? We’re three hours in one direction, let’s make something of it. So then we went to the casino and played some blackjack, and started betting, I don’t know, gambled a couple of hundred bucks, or whatever. And I was up, I was up like 300 bucks at one point, which I don’t gamble a whole lot. So for me, that’s like a lot of money. Woohoo. Yeah. But then I ended up like walking away after 200 bucks up, and then my friends convinced me to go back and drop a hundred on a blackjack table, and I lost. And so, anyway. Crazy eventful weekend.
02:46 We had a lot of fun, and I learned a lot. And so, welcome back to the program here. I’m very excited for this episode, because I’m going to be sharing with you, what I learned through a very long conversation with my best friend in the whole world, on this trip, because I was with them. And, I don’t actually know if I have permission to use my best friend’s name. And so, he’s more low key, low profile, kind of low key, or whatnot. So for the sake of this podcast, we’re going to call him Jordan, but I had a conversation with him, that really just…, just put a lot of things into…, kind of gave me a new perspective on unsuccessful people monetarily, like from a monetary perspective, and the different types of people that are out there, and why people don’t actually achieve success in their life.
03:35 So, we had a very long…, I bet you the conversation was four or five hours long, all in one sitting. And then I thought about that conversation. I’m still thinking about that conversation, and a lot of the points that went into that, and other things that we covered. So I want to share that with you today. And the point of this podcast episode, what we’re going to talk about is, essentially, there’s two reasons why I believe that people do not end up becoming successful. And, as we go through this, I want to set the tone to say like, listen, just because you don’t become monetarily successful, does not mean you’re a bad person, or it doesn’t mean that someone that is monetarily successful is any better than you, or if you are monetarily successful that you’re better than anybody that’s not.
04:17 But I think it’s interesting because, I think there’s a certain percentage of people that are not successful for one reason, and then there’s another percentage of people that are not successful, and they want to be successful, but they will never achieve success. And I want to talk about that type of person more specifically in this episode, but this conversation with my best friend really brought a lot into perspective that this other type of person really does exist, and that they can be happy like that. So we’re gonna dive in. So for those of you that know me, you know that I am pretty obsessed with like psychology, and the way people work, and the way people think, and why people make certain choices, and certain actions in their life, and ultimately why some people choose to be and end up becoming very successful, and other people do not. And that’s something that I’ve really been interested in and obsessed with my whole life. But for me, like, I have always wanted to be successful. I’ve always wanted to go out there and make a lot of money, have a lot of impact, and have a monetary version of success, but also and more importantly, a version of success that is not just monetary, actual success in all areas of my life.
05:28 And so, one of the questions that I ask, which is…, you know, why I do this podcast, and the whole purpose of this, is me asking questions and sharing the answers with you. And so one of the questions that I asked myself is, why do people not become successful? Like what holds them back from ultimately reaching their goals, their dreams, making $1 million or whatever it is that they’re chasing and that they’re after. And, I…, about…, I dunno, probably a year ago now, I started…, probably even longer than that now. I started people watching, and so I would literally go to the bar, and there’s a bar right up the street from where I live, that I love going to, and I would just sit there, and I would just watch people, and I would kind of…, sometimes I was eavesdropping, kind of overhear conversations, and like, kinda hear what they were talking about.
06:13 But I just started studying, how people worked, and how they thought, and how they talked, and where they hung out, and what they did. Now, I don’t drink, so I did this completely sober, the whole time. And, I would do this for days, and days, and weeks, and months on end. I would just go every day. I would go and I would sit there, and I would watch what people came in on the regular, who were regulars, what their actions were, and what they were. And, I started making friends with a lot of the people that would come to the bar. And particularly all of the bartenders, and servers that it…., pretty much all knew me. And, to this day, still know me cause I go there a lot. And what I found fascinating was, a lot of the people that go to this bar, and a lot of the bartenders behind there, would talk about how it would be so nice to be rich, right?
06:58 It would be so nice to have a bunch of money. It would be so nice to be able to travel the world. It’d be so nice to like, go and do all these things. They would talk about their dreams, and their goals, and their ambitions, and…, or they would be complaining about how much they didn’t like their current life. Man, this sucks, this sucks, this sucks, you know, and I heard a lot of complaining even more so from the regulars, and the people that would come in and they would drink their Fridays and Saturday nights away. They would complain a lot. And I found this fascinating, because I’m like, I don’t understand why someone would stay in that position. I don’t understand why someone would go, and they would keep coming to the same bar, spending their money on the same type of alcohol, drinking their life away, complaining about their life, when instead of doing that, they could go be educating themselves, and becoming better at something, and ultimately changing their life for the better, as you know, time went on and continued.
07:52 And so, what was interesting was, I started going and I asked once I felt like I had a relationship enough with the people that were there, I started asking them why they were where they were at in life, and why they chose to do the things that they did. Why wouldn’t you go out and…., you know, make more money, or learn how to make more money, or be able to quit your job, or be able to stop doing the things that made you unhappy, and more importantly, go do things that made you happy. And, you know, at first I’d get like, you know, “Well, are you doing that?”, and so obviously, I would…, you know, share with them what kind of look what I did, and how I was doing this and that, you know, this is kind of like, what I like to do is, studying people and learning about people.
08:34 And, you know, a lot of people would make excuses, and a lot of people would…, you know, be like, “Well, you know, F you, blah, blah, blah”, but I ended up talking to quite a few different types of people there, and there was an underlying theme from the people there, that really fascinated me, and that really like, put things into perspective in a way that I had never before experienced in my life, and along my journey. And that was, these people heavily lacked self confidence, and the belief that they could actually go out and achieve success. Now, I’ve always been a very, very self confident person, and this really opened my eyes, because at the beginning, I actually didn’t believe that that was the issue. I actually didn’t believe that self confidence alone was the thing that was holding people back from success, but it was, and the more people I asked, and the more questions that I asked, and the more I tried to figure this out, I was like, “Oh my gosh, these people really just don’t believe in themselves.”
09:40 They don’t believe in their ability to go do that. And it’s like, “Oh, I could never quit drinking”, or, you know, “I’m not that smart. No one would ever pay me money. No one…, no one pays money for what like, what I’m interested in. Oh, there’s no way to make money on that. Oh, you’ve got to be a…, you know, a blog to do that, or I’m not smart enough, or I don’t have the time, or I try that and it doesn’t work”, like, every excuse you could possibly think of in the book. Now, me being me, I would go and I would like, write these answers down, and I kind of analyzed them. And so, as I would start asking these questions more, I was just as blunt with them and I’m like, “Is it really that, or do you just think it’s kind of like a self confidence issue?
10:18 Do you really think that no one is able to do it?” Cause I would give them examples. I’m like, “Look at me. I was able to do it. Look at so, and so”, and I would point out to like, different ones of my friends online, or people that I knew that had done it. And I’d be like, “They were no smarter than you. They actually might have had it worse off than you in some cases. So my question to you is, is it really the fact that you can’t do it, that you don’t think you’re smart enough, or whatever, or is it just a self confidence issue?” And really, it came down to the fact that, so many people were lacking the self confidence to go out and learn something. They made excuses, because it was hard work, but I don’t think that hard work alone was the underlying issue.
11:00 I really truly believe, as I studied these people, that self-confidence, and more of lack thereof was the thing that held these people back. Now, for the longest time, I really truly thought that maybe that was it, that the reason people were not successful, and did not achieve what they wanted to achieve in life, whether it was monetarily, or elsewise, was because, that they just didn’t believe in themselves. That they would just lack self-confidence. And so I kind of had this theory that I’m like, “Well, if you just teach people self-confidence and give them self-confidence in a kind of like, a direction to learn, that anyone would ultimately be able to go out and be successful, and then the entire world would be better, and be successful. And so, I had this thought process and conversation. Now, insert my best friend. We’re going to come back to this scenario in this situation here. So like, don’t erase that from your mind, and I have a point there with that, but I want to shift gears, and I want to talk to you about like, this conversation that I had with my best friend. So, like I said, for the sake of this conversation, we’re going to call him Jordan.
12:07 Jordan is quite possibly the most…, the least motivated…., I use lazy lightly, but like lazy person I know, but yet, we’re really good friends, like best friends, and I’ve known him for longer than pretty much anybody in my life up until this point. For sure, like from a friend zone…, from a friend perspective. And so, he’s also the happiest person I’ve ever met in my life. I’d be like, truly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him sad. And I’ve grilled him before, and I’m like, “Are you just putting on a front? Are you doing this or whatever.” And so like, he doesn’t make a lot of money. He works at like from…, he hops around from kind of like, fast food restaurant to fast food restaurant. He’s really, really, really good at saving money. He’s a…, you know, a penny pinch or whatnot, and has always been able to get by.
12:58 He’s a hard worker at the jobs that he has, but then he just likes to sit home, or like get home, zoned out, sit on the couch and watch Netflix, or YouTube, or hang out with his girlfriend. Like that’s it. He has no motivation to go above and beyond. He does exactly what is asked of him. So I don’t want to say he’s lazy, because like, he does show up for work on time, and do a good job, but then he just comes home and clocks out. Now, I have been best friends with him for a while, like before I was successful, and so he watched my come up. He knows it’s possible, and we have extensive conversations, infact, he’s made some investments with me that have paid off, and like, he’s given me money and I’ve doubled his money for him, and like stuff like that.
13:40 And I’ve given it back, and helped them out. But other than that, like he has no motivation, but yet he believes it’s possible. He totally believes that starting an agency is possible, or running Facebook ads can make you money, like all these different things. And overall, he’s a pretty self confident person. Like, I don’t…, you know, talk to him and he’s like, “Well, I can’t do that, you know, I’m not good enough for that.” I’ve never experienced that with him.
14:04 And so I flew home and I had this conversation with him, and we talked about a lot of different things, but one of the things that I really grilled him on, is I said, “Dude, are you…, like are you actually happy? Like are you actually satisfied with this life of going to work, clock in, clock out, come home, sometimes beyond employed and just live off of savings. Go from here to there, and like, is this really all you want to do with your life?” And I grill him, I’m like, “Jordan, come on dude. Like what’s…, like what’s going on?” And he’s like, “Josh like, I’m just not motivated by the things that motivate you.” He goes, “I don’t lack self-confidence. I don’t even lack the drive necessarily. Like when I’m at work to show up.” He goes, “but I’m not…, like, I don’t have the itch.” He calls it the Itch, right? “I don’t have the itch to go out and create something big.” He’s like, “I’m okay with just filling my time here on earth, hanging out with the people that I love to hang out with, making a couple bucks, and as long as I have enough money to put food in my belly, a roof over my head, I’m good.”
15:10 And I’m like, “So what’s your ultimate goal in life?” Right? Like, you know, that’s my big thing. Like, have a big goal, big plan, big vision. He’s like, “Dude, I essentially just want to be like a skinnier version of my dad. You know what I mean?” Like, he’s like, “I’m happy and I am…”, you know, he’s a bigger dude, but he’s like, “I’m happy and I want to have kids, and I want to have a little house, and I would…, you know, prefer not to have any debt”, but above and beyond that, he goes, “As long as my bills are paid, I’m cool dude. I’ll sit around, watch TV, hang out, chill. I’m just not motivated by what motivates you.” And, it was fascinating to me because I’m like, I really truly believe he’s happy. And like, I grew up pretty hard. I ask intense questions about like, “Are you fulfilled? Are you this? Do you think it’s going to run out? Do you think you’re going to have a midlife crisis?”
15:59 And he’s like, “Yeah, I mean, probably. I’ll probably have a midlife crisis at some point, where I’m like gonna like freak out a little bit.” But he goes, “I know myself pretty well, to the point where like, even if I have a midlife crisis, it might be like, ah man, I don’t have a good enough job. Or like, maybe I need to like get married, or you know, maybe it’s time to like start doing the things that I know that I want to do.” But he goes, “Ultimately, the only thing that money would buy me is, you know, maybe I would travel a little bit more, but I’m happy doing what I’m doing right now.” I was fascinated by this, and I was like, “Okay, I wonder if there is a…”, you know, if this is like a trait that certain people have.
16:43 And I found as I started studying this a little bit more, I remember a test that actually I just recently found it. There’s a test…, Tai Lopez is the one that put me on it, but there’s a theory that says, “Humans are essentially driven by one of four things.” Now, I don’t necessarily a hundred percent agree with this, because I do believe that there’s a religion aspect of this, and I think that God, and as someone who’s a Christian myself, I know that I am very, very influenced by my belief system. But for the sake of this, I’m going to…, I’m gonna use these four things, and I’m going to share that with you here for the point of this podcast episode. So Tai Lopez essentially says, “Listen, there’s one of four things that drives people. Money, travel and freedom, sex/relationships, and fame/mastery. Alright?
17:35 So one of those four things is your dominant, or your overriding thing that drives you. And so essentially, how the test goes, is you compare it to of them. You say, okay, you can not…, you know, have sex or be in a relationship of any sort for the next 10 years, but you would have $100 million. Right? Like a hundred million bucks, or even $1 billion, name it. Just an astronomical amount of money. Which one would you pick? And then you pick the one like, that you would pick it. Then you go to the next one. You say, “Okay, let’s say you take the hundred million bucks.” So you go and say, “Alright. Would you rather have $100 million, and you cannot travel anywhere. You have to stay within a 10 mile radius of your home, or like in your home city, but you’ve got a hundred million bucks or $1 billion, whatever.
18:18 You have all the money in the world, but you can’t leave, or you have enough money to travel and do go wherever you want in the entire world. But that’s it. Like you can never ever be rich. You can only have enough just to go and travel. Which one would you do? And you compare to the two of them. And then, let’s say, you know, you chose the money one again, or whatever the travel one, whichever one you pick. Then you go to the last one, and you say, “Which one would you rather have? Would you rather have…, you know, $100 million? Excuse me. Would you have $100 million?, and no one would ever know you. You could never be famous. You can never be known for anything. Like, you’re an average person. You only have one follower on Instagram. You’re a complete nobody, or $80,000 for the rest of your life.
18:57 $80,000 a year., but you’re super famous. You’re known as the number one person in the world at being the best at one specific thing. And you can pick whatever that was, right? And so you have to pick ultimately which one is your ultimate core driver. And so, I took that test and I actually had my, my, I had multiple, my friends take this test. And what was interesting was, depending upon which one we all chose, we looked at our lives and we look like about around the actions that we were doing in our life. And it actually made sense, like it lined up with how we were choosing to live. And so, the thing that drove my friend Jordan was relationships, right? He’s like, “Dude, the thing that’s most important to me is just relationships. I have a relationship with my girlfriend. I may not with my best friend as long as they’re taking care of, I don’t need anything else. I’m not driven by anything else.”
19:46 And so for me, I came down to like mastery and money, and like impact or whatever. And so for me, ultimately the thing that that drives me more than anything else, it’s like mastery, fame and impact, right? Like I want to impact people and I would choose that over money. But all that being said, I found this fascinating, because I went back and I analyzed, and I compared back to the people at the bar that I would have these conversations with. And I realized that there’s two types of people in this world. Alright? That are not successful. There’s people that are not successful and they’re happy with that. They’ve chosen to be not be successful in a monetary sense or a fame sense because that’s actually what makes them happy. And they know that they’re not driven by it.
20:31 It’s not gonna make them happy and it’s going to make them more miserable, than it could ever bring them happiness. And then there’s a second group of people that are not successful monetarily and fame or however you want to define that simply because their default is to not to be, because they lack self confidence. They doubt themselves, and they never actually go out, and believe in themselves enough, or take risk enough to go out, and have success. And the sad reality is, is that most people are the latter. Most people are not the type of person that can sit around for the rest of their life, and truly be happy without achieving some level of success, but, most people will never achieve what it is that they want, simply because they lack the self confidence to go out and do it. They’re afraid of failure.
21:24 They’re afraid that someone’s going to laugh at them, or they truly honestly believe that it’s not possible. They truly honestly believe that they are not capable of doing it. And it is so sad. And so, my goal is…, with this podcast in life, is to inspire people to go do what they love. And for a while there, I thought that that type of person was my friend Jordan. But in reality, he’s one of the happiest dudes I’ve ever met. Like I aspire some days to be on his level of just like happiness and contentment with life. And so, my goal is to target the people that don’t have the self confidence, that don’t believe that it’s possible, and grab them and say, “You can do this.” And so if you’re that person right now that has not achieved your dreams, I know that there are, you know, that there are people out there that make excuses, that they go, “Well, money won’t make me happy, you know, well fame won’t make me happy. I don’t want to get caught up in that.”
22:20 And they use that as an excuse. And I heard that a lot from people at the bar. They use it as an excuse to get out of trying, when in reality, those things would bring them a lot of fulfillment, and would really make them happy to be able to go and experience and do those things. And so I want to encourage you, if you’re that person right now that struggling, if you’re that person right now, that has not achieved the level of success that you want to achieve, don’t make excuses. Be honest with yourself and understand it’s probably a self confidence issue. Once you fix yourself (that’s why mindset is so important)…, once you fix yourself, once you fix your mindset, and you become self confident and you go, “You know what? I might not know how to do this, but I trust and believe in my ability to figure it out.
23:08 I trust and believe in my ability and have the mindset to say, “I’m not going to quit until I figure it out, because I know it’s possible.” Most people just have not given themselves permission to go and do something, because they don’t believe it’s possible for them. And so whatever your dream is, whatever it is that you ultimately want to achieve in life, if you’re not actually shooting for that right now, I want you to stop, and I want you to go, “You know what? I’m at least acknowledging that it’s possible. I’m at least acknowledging that I am capable. I might not know how. I might not have the self confidence yet, but gosh, dang it, I’m going to go do it. Gosh, Dang it. I’m going to believe that it is possible for me and I’m going to work on my mindset, so that I am competent enough someday, so they do have what it takes, because I know that deep down inside, I do, because I know for you that that is possible.
24:01 Then I know for the dozens and hundreds of people that I talked to at the bar and out at restaurants and out when I’m at events, it’s possible for them as well because you have everything that you need inside of you. There’s two types of people that aren’t successful, some monetarily and fit with famous, successful. Some of them choose that way because it would make them sad, but most of them are not. Most of them are not that way. Most of them just need to believe in themselves and have that confidence. Make sure that you’re not the ladder, and if you are, give yourself permission to go be confident. Go give yourself permission to learn, and at least admit to yourself that you are capable of doing, is because once you admit it, you’re going to go start finding ways on how to do that. Alright.
24:46 Alright guys, I hope this episode was interesting. I hope it was helpful. If it was, hit me up on Instagram, let me know @JoshForti. I’d love to hear your feedback. And, I’m really just trying to bring perspective, and I’m trying to…, you know, maybe you have a best friend that’s that way, you know someone or you have a kid, or a parent, or a friend. They had an uncle that is stuck in a rut, because they don’t have that self confidence. It’s not a skills issue. It’s not a smarts issue. It has nothing to do with that. It all comes down to self confidence, and believing in your ability to actually be able to figure things out. As always, hustle, hustle, God bless. Do not be afraid to think different, because those of us that think different are the ones that change the world. Do something good today. Fill, someone’s take up with gas, buy them food. If you can’t just smile at someone, do something today that makes the world better, and collectively we can make the world a better place. I love you all and I will see you the next episode. Take it easy fam piece.
25:41 Yo, what’s up guys? You’ve been listening to The Think Different Theory with myself, Josh Forti, which I like to call, “A new paradigm of thinking”, and real quick, I got a question for you. Did you like this episode? If you did, I want to ask a huge favor. See, the biggest thing that helps this podcast grow, and that will spread this message of positivity and making the world a better place, is if you leave a review, a rating and subscribe to the podcast. What that does is, it basically tells the platforms that this is out on, that you like my stuff, and that I’m doing something right. So if you could take like three seconds out of your day and subscribe, leave a rating, and a review, I would be forever grateful for you. Also, I want to hear from you. I want to know your feedback, your ideas, and your questions for future episodes. So be sure to hit me up on Instagram in the DM @JoshForti or via email contact@ThinkDifferentTheory.com.