WHAT IS THIS EPISODE ABOUT?
In this episode, I talk about the midlife crisis. I share mine, and I talk about how to deal with them.
WHY SHOULD I LISTEN?
I show why it is not necessarily bad to have them, but also when it does become an issue the steps you can take to get past it.
I’ll give you 3 actionable steps to go through and show you how you can apply them to your life. We are all different and have different life situations but these are all things that will apply to life, no matter the situation you are in.
WHERE CAN I LEARN MORE?
Be sure to follow me on the below platforms:
WHEN DID IT AIR?
January 09, 2019
Be sure to follow me on Instagram @joshforti
If you’ve ever had to google signs of having a midlife crisis, let me just stop you right there. You’re having a midlife crisis and here’s the thing, that’s not a bad thing, but here’s where it gets you into trouble. It’s a bad thing when
00:15 You are now entering a new paradigm. So, here was my issue. I wonder to find the answers to life’s biggest questions. Things like how do I become happy and live with purpose? How do I make more money doing what I love and what does it mean to be truly successful in all areas of life? My name is Josh Forty @joshforti on Instagram and I ask life’s biggest questions and share the answers with you. My goal is to help you find purpose, happiness, and open your mind to new realms of possibility by helping you think differently about everything you do know and understand on this podcast. We think different. We dream bigger and we live in a world without minutes. This is a new paradigm. Welcome to the think different.
01:00 What’s up guys? Welcome back to another episode of the think different theory, episode number five, and you have made it through the first week. If you have listened to all five episodes, five consecutive days that they’ve came out. Uh, you deserve a big, huge round of applause. Hit me up once again. Dm On Instagram @joshforti. Make sure to follow me on there. Hit me up, let me know that you’ve listened to all five episodes. I’ll do like, I don’t know, I’m gonna do like a tag, like tagging every single person in an Instagram story or something that listened to all five episodes and we’ll make it a little fun competition there. I think it’d be super cool, but I want to talk today and do a little bit of a um, I don’t know. I’m testing content right now. All right. So I’m trying to kind of see what you like, what you don’t like, what I’m vibing with, right?
01:48 How I best tell my stories, how you best relate to me, how I best relate to you and how I can best make a positive impact on the world. So you know, these early stages of podcasts are just, you know, like I said, the fruit in the first episode, we’re just trying things, but I want to talk about the midlife crisis phase because I went through that not too long ago, I don’t know, six, seven, eight, nine months, I don’t know, sometime in 2018. I don’t remember the exact time and see here’s the thing. I got into this whole entrepreneurship game two or three years ago, about three years ago now and went through, had some success and I remember saying to myself, dude, I’ve got this thing under control. Life, I’ve got you more or less figured out. I’m not going to have a midlife crisis.
02:37 Yeah. All right. So I grew up. Let’s just say that if you have ever had to google signs of a midlife crisis, let me just stop you right there. You’re having a midlife crisis. That’s what I did. So I remember I googled as I was like bawling my eyes out, which that should be a topic for another conversation. Can, should guys be able to cry? And it. Is that cool? Let me just give it all away. Sure. I cry all the time, or actually not all the time, but I cry. All right. I have emotions, but anyway, so I’m sitting there and I’m like crying and of course I’m by myself because Duh, I’m the man and I’m not going to cry around people because I’m just kidding. Um, but, and I’m trying to figure life out and I’m overwhelmed and I don’t know what I want to do with my life.
03:20 And I go to Google and I’m like, signs of a midlife crisis. What is a midlife crisis? Only to figure out very, very quickly. Yeah, that’s what I was having. Even though I was convinced I was never going to have a midlife crisis, I thought I had life figured out and I was gonna go and just own it. I was just going to have it all figured out. So newsflash to you. If you have not had a midlife crisis yet, you’re going to. And if you have a real talk, I feel you on a real level. I get it, but let’s talk about this midlife crisis thing. Okay. It’s, that’s not a bad thing necessarily, right? I think that when you have a midlife crisis or call it whatever you want to have, when you’re questioning your direction in life, your path in life, I think that that’s potentially a good thing and I think it is a good thing because it means that you’re aware that your life has purpose and that you’re aware that you need to be on a path that you’re proud of and you need to be on a path that, uh, you want to be going down.
04:24 And so like reality checks and checks to make sure that you’re in, are a good thing. I have them on probably a monthly basis and basically all of midlife crisis is, is a very amplified version of that. When you like realize, holy crap, I’m not actually on the path that I want to go down. What am I doing with my life? I’m freaking out. Ah, we’ve all had them. Okay. It becomes a problem though when you dwell and when you don’t change anything about it. Okay? I cannot tell you how many people I’ve run into. There was this girl I met one time and like probably once every two or three months she would come and just be a mess, come into the friends group and I’m telling you like big, huge midlife crisis, like big crisis every single time. She can probably be like two months and it got worse as time went on, but it was the same stuff and it was the same problems, you know, part of it was like a toxic relationship.
05:24 Part of it was her job, part of it was her college, but stuff that she would go, she’d freak out, she’d have a nervous breakdown, she melt down, she’d freak out, we’ll go for a day or two being super depressed. Then she’d get up and nothing would change. And I looked at her and I was just like, why don’t you just, I don’t know, change something and do something about it. All right. And that’s where people run into issues is because they’re so comfortable in what they’re doing that even though that they might, it might freak them out, they don’t know anything else and they’re really scared to go out and do anything else and they just always view as the unknown as bad or they think that they can’t do something, which is why it’s so important to think different or you got to think different about everything.
06:11 Even if you don’t take an action upon that thinking different, you need to at least be aware of your options and be out there. So when I have a midlife crisis or when I had this particular midlife crisis for me, it lasted like one day was really, really bad, but more or less lasted for like a week. Right. I was going through this time and I don’t know really really know how you measure, like when it starts, when it ends or whatever. But I was kind of going through it. I gotta have this freak out and I really had to take a step back and I went and asked myself once again the question of why I didn’t know I was doing it at the time, but we talked about that earlier in episode two I believe. Um, and I asked myself the question and I went and I actually just made out this game plan of what I was actually going to do because here’s the thing, here’s what this looked like.
07:01 Okay. Tell me if you can relate to this. I wake up and I’m freaking out. I don’t want to get out of bed. I’m super depressed. Unlike, Huh now I didn’t have a job. I can work for myself. So you know, it’s a double-edged sword because I can lay in bed and do nothing all day, which I know sounds awesome and amazing, but let me tell you, when you’re running a company, it’s terrible because stuff starts to pile up. But stuff had been piling up for several days now. I wasn’t being very productive. I opened the fridge and realized that I had basically drank all of my milk and had eaten everything out of it and was on this terrible unhealthy diet and was just freaking out about everything and I was like, I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I don’t know if I’m happy.
07:42 I don’t know where I’m going to find love. I don’t know what I want to do for money. I don’t know if I like what I’m doing for work right now. I don’t have a good relationship with my family and I need to. I haven’t talked to my best friend in a long time. I haven’t really seen any of my friends in a whole while. I’ve done a bunch of stuff that should make me happy, but it’s not things that used to make me happy. Don’t, oh my gosh. What is my life going to be right now? I just need something and let me tell you drugs, kids are not the answer. All right. Now we’ll talk about drugs on a future episode because I have very interesting opinions on drugs, but drugs are not the answer. Especially in a midlife crisis scenario, so what do you do?
08:21 You take a deep breath and you go and then you do it again and you take control of the situation. You get control of your emotions. Listen, there is no harm, no shame in a good all outcry, but once that cries over, get your life together and take control of your emotions. Get a low level head on your shoulders. And for me, the very first thing that I did as I went through this midlife crisis phase was I cleaned. Now you might be like, Yo, Josh, do you have like some obsession with like cleaning? Here’s the thing, I don’t particularly like the act of cleaning. All right? Nothing about like scrubbing a floor or washing dishes or cleaning a toilet, you know, turns me on or gets me like all hyped up and excited to do however, a clean house, clean environment, clean office, clean, whatever brings clarity, brings organization and makes you feel like you have some level of control.
09:30 So next time you’re having that freak out moment, whether it’s a full out nervous breakdown, midlife crisis or not. First thing you should do is get in a state of organization at least is what I do. Maybe you’re different, but I have found this to be true for everyone. In fact, I have a numerous number of or a couple different training programs that I’ve put out for differences. We have several hundred people go through and buy them, but the first, the first module I talk all about mindset. I start each module with each course, with the mindset module, and I talked about this. You’ve got to get organized. You cannot accelerate your life forward if your life isn’t clean. All right, you got to be organized. So I go through, I make my bed. I’d make sure my closet’s organized, I vacuum, I clean the dishes, I go through, I just get my life and as organized possible, especially like clean laundry and clean counters, like if you can’t put your stuff down and not be sticky or whatever, and I cleaned floors.
10:34 Make sure your life is organized. Okay? So I went through, I did this, I sit down, I go, okay. At least now I have taken control of the things that I can immediately control my environment. If you’re in a bad environment, get out of that bad environment. You can’t think if there’s drama and negativity around. All right? Get out of that and take control that. Okay? Boom. That’s the first thing. Okay, so you’ve gone through. I did this. The second thing that I realized as I went through this midlife crisis, after I go through and I wake up and I freak out and uh, I actually, I went to the store and refilled my fridge with some good things to eat, but basically I controlled my environment and I got to that point. I took a breath and I go, okay, why am I freaking out his life falling apart or is it not?
11:22 And I just went through this whole process and I was like, I started asking myself the question, am I like, okay, am I sick? Am I dying? No, nothing urgent. Okay, cool. So why am I freaking out? And for me, and maybe this is the case for you is because I wanted to have my life planned out. I wanted to know what, what happen next? I was scared of the uncertainty. I was scared that I was going to make the wrong decision in life. I was scared that I was going to go down the wrong path. I was scared that I wasn’t gonna. I wasn’t gonna wake up one day and not be happy or not make the amount of money that I wanted to do or all these different things. And then I realized something. I’m 24 years old about to be 25 February first.
11:56 Shout out to a Grant Cardone for putting on the 10 x growth con on my birthday. Be Down in Miami. That’d be sweet. Anyway, I’m 24 years old. I don’t have to have it all figured out and I think this is a thing that we really miss. I think this is something that’s really, really important. We assume that at 18, 22, 28, 30, we’ve got to have all of our life figured out. The reality of the matter is that you’re going to live 80 years, 90 years, 70 years, like a long time. When you’re 25 years old, you have lived more or less speaking. Let’s say you live to 80, you’ve lived less than one third of your life. You’ll figure out life when you’re 80. All right there. You can sit back and ponder and reflect and all that, but right now you’re in the best health of your life.
12:52 You’re in the best shape of your life. You’re in the prime of your life. The years of twenties, teens, twenties, even early thirties now is the time to be going out there and trying things. Now is the time when it’s totally okay to make mistakes. Now is the time when if you don’t have life all figured out, that’s fine because you’re just figuring out what you want to do. You have the ability to go and travel and learn and do and test. Why would you pick one thing if you’re not certain about it? Why would you just go and take a risk and a chance on one specific thing that doing nothing and like just settling for the first thing that comes. It’s like the biggest risk ever because then you risk being unhappy for the rest of your life. You don’t know what else is out there and so I think for me specifically and for a lot of people that I’ve talked to, the reason that they have these midlife crisis is and the reason that they freak out and they keep coming back to them is number one, they’re trying to solve them without being organized.
13:50 Can I get your life organized? But number two is that they think that they have to have their whole entire life figured out and you don’t. And number three, they don’t actually change anything about it. Going back to the story about my friend, she never changed anything. She constantly kept getting stressed out. She thought she had have life figured out. She’s like, this is what I’m going to do, but is stressing me out. I’m like, well, why would you keep doing that? Is stressing you out because she’s like, because that’s what I want to do with my life. I’m like, well, are you sure? Because it seems to be causing stress and this particular person wanted to be a therapist and she was going off and trying to chase this or whatever and I’m like, well you see you’re going down this route and I just don’t think that this is actually making you happy or what you actually want to do because when I like ask you about like, you know, your dreams are this or whatever, like the things that you tell me make you happy are this other thing and you’re not, no, this is what I want to do.
14:41 Like, okay, I have it all figured out. This what I’m gonna do this, this, this, this, this, and I’m super stressed out about it, but it’s going to be good. And then three months later, six months later, a year later, same thing, just like, I just don’t get it. Why? Why are you trying to put your life in a box? You haven’t tried other things. That was the only thing she had ever wanted to do. The only thing she had ever known. And I actually asked her, has this ever made you happy? Like he has this thing ever, not been a point of stress in your life ever, and she’s like, no, but I know that once I do x, once I graduate, once I forget what the exact things were, then it’ll become less stressful and I’m like, well, I just, I just don’t know if that’s the case and she was so unwilling to go out and try different things, explore different options or even make a change in her approach.
15:25 So he was so set on the same thing and we get so set on, I have to finish college in four years. We get so set on I have to build a million dollar business in a year. We get so set on, I must do x in this timeframe. Why says who? And listen, goal setting is very, very important. I’m not saying don’t set goals, however I am saying that when you’re freaking out, a lot of times you can avoid that and you can go and you can analyze and just go, okay, well is this what I actually want? Or can I try something new? Don’t be afraid to try something new. Don’t be afraid to go out and they try different things and that’s what I did. And so I still had my business, but I decided to switch things up at that time. I went and bought a motorcycle again shortly after this, you know, I, I don’t know, a couple months went by or whatever, but I bought a motorcycle after this and I was like, man, I want to get, you know, get back on there and, and, and, and try that again and kind of see if that will help relieve some of my stress and oh man, I want to go.
16:26 And I wanted to try some of these clients over here. And I tried that and I was like, Oh man, I would, I would really love to do this in my free time. And I started watching like documentaries on things that used to think and I like doing those different things. And I was like, Oh man, I could do these different things in these things interest me. And I started to figure out and be okay with being in this stage of exploring what I liked and exploring what I wanted to do and being okay with not having the next step of my life figured out and just testing. I’m in my twenties. Most of you that are listening probably are too, right? Or around the age when all of this is still possible. It’s a lot harder to do these things when you’re 50. Okay.
17:06 Still be done. No, no excuse if you’re 50 years old listening to this. I’m looking at you. No excuses, but it’s a lot harder. It’s a much easier to go out and test and travel and go, listen, I used to be super duper duper anti, like going broke to chase your dreams. Money was a really big driving factor for me. I was like, why would you go and travel the world and blow all your money on that when you could go and become a, you know, like invest your money and do this and do that and be smart with this and get ahead and build a business. Until I realized that you learn so ridiculously much by doing things, by traveling, by seeing a different perspective, by trying new things, going different places, being around different people and so a lot of my friends, they want to travel and they’re scared to like, why don’t have the money?
17:54 Well, figuring out a way to come up with the money and then just go do it. I have a friend, she’s one of my best friends in the entire world. Her name is Lauren and at age 19, I believe she booked a one-way ticket to Australia. She knew no one over there, had no job lined up, had I think like a thousand bucks to her name and did it. She was having a midlife crisis and just went, got over to Australia, freaked out, panicked, but just kept going. Tried different things. She to this day, you can ask her best decisions you’ve ever made. It forced her to get creative, to learn new things and she’s gone on. Here’s the deal. Most people are afraid to do that and what I have found is that the people that are afraid to do that more times than not are closed minded and the people that go and take that risk are more openminded and are more likely to actually ultimately succeed in the future.
18:53 Here’s why I am not saying that going over and like just because you don’t want to go travel the world or take a risk or whatever that you’re dumb or you know, super close minded or that you’re a bad person or not going to succeed or whatever, but what I’m saying is when you are willing to go and take a risk and be okay with the unknown and to go out there and just learn and explore, especially when you’re young, you learn during that process how to adapt. You learn during that process how to make things happen. You learn to go and try and different things and listen. When you go and do that, you’re probably gonna have a midlife crisis over there too. You’re probably gonna be like, oh my gosh, I’m broke, but because you’ve learned how to adapt and learn how different people interact, you now can figure out and have a better understanding of what you actually want to do with your life.
19:44 Listen, just because you grew up in America in a small town or in the city or wherever and your parents had a nine to five job or maybe they were super successful or whatever, it doesn’t mean you have to follow in that footsteps. You could go live in Africa to hunt and be totally happy. That’s not wrong. Go and do it. So for me, when I went through this midlife crisis stage, I first got organized. I second excepted the fact that this is okay. It’s okay to explore as long as I actually took action upon it and didn’t just sit and dwell. And then number three actually went and did that. I took action, I tried different things. I tried new things and I became very okay with being uncomfortable. I became very okay with not knowing where those next steps are. And in 2019, let me tell you, is going to be the craziest year of my life yet because I’ve been okay with being uncomfortable.
20:34 I am taking the biggest risks of my entire life. Why? Because I want to learn. I’m talking major risks and I can’t wait to share more on the podcast here as time goes on with that, but big, big time risks, big, big time opportunity. And uh, I’m okay with failing. I’m okay with learning. That’s the other big thing is super okay to fail. Failure is part of who you are. Failures make up like your learning processes. You couldn’t learn if you didn’t fail because you have to know both, right and wrong. You have to know the answer and the answer. You have to know what things work and what things don’t. And the only way you do that is by winning and failing and testing and learning and tweaking and going along the way. So next time you’re having a freakout go. This is normal.
21:26 Let me have my freakout moment. Cry Your eyes out school. Freak out for a day. It’s cool. Don’t do anything stupid. Get Control of yourself, organize your whole life, your, you know, your apartment in your office and you know, wherever else you have, if you don’t have an office or an apartment, wherever you’re living and organize it, get a good state of mind and then go, okay, what am I, what can I learn from this? What are the things that I want to explore? What do I want to do with life? What have I learned from the last time that I had my panic attack or, you know, crisis mode and what am I going to change and do moving forward so that I don’t come back and freak out about the same thing. It’s okay to freak out. It was not okay to keep freaking out about the same thing over and over and over again.
22:12 Change it. Do not dwell on it. Alright. Alright. I hope you learned something on this episode. Uh, I, like I said, I’m really trying to just share a lot more of like my journey and these first five, six, seven episodes, uh, I kind of want to give you context and give you some really good value or whatnot. Come January 14th. We have a really big announcement, not necessarily pertaining to the podcast, but I can finally talk about a project that I’ve been working on for so long and I’ve been working on it directly ties into this because combining this episode with episode number two. Okay. Uh, the, asking yourself the question of why I started asking myself the question of why I had in my, you know, my freakout moment, my mit, my midlife crisis, I started figuring out what I wanted to do and I finally, I finally admitted to myself that it was okay for me to chase my dreams and take risk.
23:09 It’s how this podcast got started. That’s step one. Step number two is coming the week of January 14th and that’s when this podcast is going to get really good because you’re going to get an in depth journey of my life, of building what we’re going to unveil that we’re working on in a 20, 19 and beyond and moving forward and what my life is going to look like and I hope to inspire you with that, so don’t be afraid to fail. Don’t be afraid of freak outs if you’re having a midlife crisis. Cool. It’s normal. We all do it. Just own it. Control it, learn from it and go, change it. As always, hustle, hustle, God bless. Do not be afraid to think different because those of us that think different, other ones are going to change the world. I remember when you think different, you’re gonna. Be Misunderstood, so be okay with that and own that. It’s a good thing to have. I love you all and I will see you on the next episode. Take it easy, fam. Peace.
24:08 Yo, what’s up guys? You’ve been listening to the think different theory with myself. Josh 40, which I like to call a new paradigm of thinking, and real quick, I got a question for you. Did you like this episode? If you did, I want to ask a huge favor. See the biggest thing that helps this podcast grow and that will spread this message of positivity and making the world a better place is if you leave a review or rating and subscribe to the podcast. What that does is it basically tells the platforms that this is out on that you liked my stuff and then I’m doing something right, so if you could take like three seconds out of your day and subscribe, leave a rating and review. I will be forever grateful for you. Also, I want to hear from you. I want to know your feedback, your ideas, and your questions for future episodes, so be sure to hit me up on instagram in the DM @joshforti or via email firstname.lastname@example.org