Think Different Theory

Dealing with Daily Stress


In this episode, I’m going to talk about the widely ignored topic of stress. Stress affects all of us, especially those of us who are passionate about changing the world, because that in itself can be an additional stress to the usual stresses of life like money, raising a family, etc.


Stress can be very difficult to deal with, and anybody with a higher level of responsibility in any area of life is almost always strongly affected. I’m going to talk about my own stresses, the ones that I face on a daily basis, and tell you how I have learned to deal with it to the point where now it doesn’t affect me as much as it used to.

Here are the key topics discussed in this episode:

  • Stress gets all of us (02:00)
  • Fascinating facts and statistics about stress (04:16)
  • My personal experience with stress  (09:44)
  • My formula for dealing with stressful situations (13:01)
  • Looking at things from an objective point of view (17:34)
  • Changing your perspective of stress (21:00)
  • Doing what you can and leaving the rest (24:32)
  • My overwhelmingly decreased stress levels (26:34)


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April 29, 2019


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00:00          Stress can be really difficult to deal with at times. And, especially for those of us that like, have the stress falling directly on our shoulders, that are the decision makers, and you know, as business owners, or entrepreneurs, or you know, project leaders, anybody with larger amounts of responsibility in any area of life, stress can really affect you. And in fact like, stress itself can be stressful, and you’re stressed because there’s more stress. And, I’ve… I’m learning how to deal with it better, and I want to discuss that.

00:31          You are now entering a new paradigm. So, here’s my issue. I wanted to find the answers to life’s biggest questions. Things like, how do I become happy and live with purpose? How do I make more money doing what I love, and what does it mean to be truly successful in all areas of life? My name is Josh Forti, @JoshForti on Instagram, and I ask life’s biggest questions and share the answers with you. My goal is to help you find purpose, happiness, and open your mind to new realms of possibility by helping you think differently about everything you do, know, and understand. On this podcast, we think different, we dream bigger, and we live in a world without limits. This is a new paradigm. Welcome to The Think Different Theory.

01:16          What’s up guys? Welcome back to another episode of The Think Different Theory. My name is Josh Forti. And, let me tell ya, it has been a day today. Whoa! Let’s say, it’s… it’s cloudy, it’s rainy, it’s cold. My Internet went out last night and was just all sorts of jacked up so I didn’t have internet, I was running things off of my hotspot, and then, on my phone, my phone sim card stopped reading. And so, it’s like, when I would look at my phone it would say no Sim card even though that there was a sim card in it. And so, I’ve got no internet. I had no phone with a sim card so I’m like, completely disconnected. So I get my backup phone, like I have a work phone with a hotspot on it. So I’m going and trying to like figure out things and stuff on that.

02:00          And then this morning, I wake up and I have overslept my alarm, because for some reason the sim card missing has like, really jacked things up, the Internet was still like super spotty, and like, didn’t work right. So I’m having to figure out how to hook up my computer to my hotspot to get on an interview. And it has just been a whirlwind of… of things going wrong. One thing after the next, after the next. On top of that, dealing with, you know, running a business and client issues, and things like that. Stress has been a big part of really this past week, but you know, just life in general, stress can really get to you at times. And, I think it’s one of those things that a lot of people maybe avoid talking about, or they’re like, “Oh, stress is a good thing. It means you got… you know, means you’re being successful”, or yadda, yadda, yadda.

02:47          But I want to talk about how I’ve learned to deal with stress, and how I’m kind of going through dealing with stress, and some of the things that I’ve learned, because quite frankly, I have a lot more reasons now to be stressed, but I’m a lot less stressed than I ever have been in the business realm and the business side of things. And, when I do get stressed like it might be very, very intense, but it’s for a very short period of time, because I’m able to identify things, and just kind of breathe and really… really get things under control a lot better than I used to be able to. So, I want to talk about that. Welcome back to the program today. I’m very excited to dive in as always. I mean, this is one of my passions. This quite frankly… this podcast is my biggest passion.

03:33          In fact, I was on… I was on an interview this morning, talking about, well it was a podcast interview, and I was talking about podcasting, and I was talking about The Think Different Theory. And, one of the questions that the guy asked, he was like, “Hey, you know, Josh. How do you… you know, like how do you balance and manage time with your podcast, and your business, like, you know, figuring that whole thing out.” I’m like, “Quite frankly, I’m just excited about my podcast. This is just my passion project, and I just love doing this. And, while yes, there are definitely things in work that go into it to make sure that the good quality stuff and the best quality product goes out, and in this case, you know, podcasts, I love doing it, and I’m truly excited every single day that I get to do podcast episodes, to actually put these things out, because it’s something that I’m passionate about.

04:16          So I know I start a lot of these episodes out with, “I’m so excited to dive into today.” I’m actually genuinely excited. There’s only been… I don’t even think there’s ever been an episode where I haven’t been just super pumped to dive into everything, and really get my thoughts out there, and everything. So, anyway, let’s dive in. I’m actually really excited about this. And, we got some really cool facts and some really cool statistics for you to… I don’t know if I want to call them cool. They’re actually kind of saddening, but some interesting statistics and facts to share with you about stress. So, one of the things that I like to do before episodes is really dive in, and do actual research on the things I’m talking about, not just spewing things off the top of my head, because the purpose of this podcast is me asking questions, and sharing answers with you, not just sharing hypothesis with you, or just my thoughts.

05:01          Sometimes I do that, but I really want to be grounded in facts. So doing a little bit of research on stress, and I came across an article by the American Institute of Stress. And what’s interesting is, there are actually different types of stress. So there’s acute stress, which would be like, the fight or flight stress. The body prepares to defend itself. It takes about 90 minutes for the metabolism to return to normal once that… you know, stress is over. So like, that’s like it’s…, you know, the self-defense… defense mechanism of stress. Then there’s like chronic stress, which is the cost of daily living, like bills, kids, job, et cetera. And, a lot of people tend to like kind of ignore that and push it down. And then there is, I’m going to call it stress, or eustress. I actually don’t know how to pronounce it.

05:51          So I’m going to call it eustress, which is the stress in daily life, that has positive connotations, such as marriage, a promotion, a baby, winning money, new friends, graduation, like good stress, right? Like, “Oh my gosh, I’m so stressed out because I got all these responsibilities to do.” But all the responsibilities are good things. There’s that type of stress. And then there’s distress, which is the negative connotations, such as divorce, or punishment, or injury, or negative feelings or… you know, financial problems and things of that nature. So, there are the different types of stress that… you know, that are out there. Primarily though, in this conversation, I’m going to be talking about… not acute stress, not the fight or flight stress, but the stress in our daily lives that comes with bills, and kids, and jobs, some of it with promotions and stuff, but more like, the financials and the stress of daily life in business, and responsibility-based stress, and the stress that we feel on a daily basis, and the kind of common stress that we refer to when we say, “Oh, I’m so stressed out.”

06:48          So, anyway, I want to dive into some statistics here before I really dive into my thoughts on this, and my findings on the research here. I want to base it off of something so that you guys know, “Okay. People are actually stressed out and this is the actual statistical numbers based from the American Institute of Stress on what is going on here. Alright? So let’s dive into… alright, so top causes of stress in the US. Alright? The number one cause of stress in the US is job pressure. Number two is money. Number three is health.

07:25          Number four is relationships. Number five is poor nutrition, number six is media overload. And, number seven is sleep deprivation. Alright? So, the inability to… you know, really sleep well. So, and lack of sleep therein. Now, here is where these things get interesting because I think we all probably could have guessed that job, money, health, relationships, media, social media, porn and church, and stuff like that, cause stress. But I was fascinated by the number of people that actually deal with stress on a daily basis, that it says. So, according to this article, 77% of people regularly experience physical symptoms caused by stress. So that means 77% of people, 77 out of a hundred regularly on a consistent basis actually experience physical symptoms, not just like, “Oh, like I’m constantly….”, like actually physically are stressed out due to stress. Now, 73% so almost the exact same number, but only 4% less, regularly experience psychological symptoms caused by stress.

08:42          So they’re actually psychologically affected by stress. So like, their decision making, and the way that they think, their psychological human nature, is affected by stress. 33% of people. So, what is that? A third? A third of people, one in three say they feel as though they are living with extreme stress, and 50% or 48% of people feel that their stress has increased over the past five years. Thank you, social media. And 76% cited money and work as the leading cause of their stress. And, last but not least, 48% of people say, so roughly half, one in two, people say that they lie awake at night due to stress. So, obviously, stress is a big part of our society. It’s a big part of what a lot of people deal with. So I think this is something that really needs to be addressed. And when I read these statistics, this is when I was like, “Okay, I definitely need to do a podcast episode on it.

09:44          Now, I kind of want to shift gears here and bring this back around to maybe my personal story, and my personal life, so that you guys can kind of… you know, know what I deal with stress out with on a daily basis, because I deal with stress as well, and I’ve gotten way better at it, but I will tell you, the most stressful times in my life, have come through business. And, you know, it’s also the most exciting things in my life have come through the business. And so it’s one of those things where it’s like, well, seems to me that you can’t have one without the other. And I don’t think that’s necessarily the case. And obviously, I think that in any area of life, anything that you’re committed to, anything that you put a lot of focus on, naturally speaking, you’re going to have times when you’re stressed out and when things are not going well and that’s inevitable.

10:28          But how we choose to react to said stress, how we choose to deal with that stress, that we can control. And I remember, gosh, I mean I’ve been stressed out a lot. There was, you know, times in my life where I was working literally 18 to 20 hours a day, seven days a week. And that’s not being sarcastic. That’s not even exaggerating in the slightest. A lot of people were like, “Oh maybe we have to work 18 hours a day.” You know, like literally I worked two full time jobs and I lived on a farm. I worked know one job, 40 hour a week job and then you know, another one 60 or 70 hours a week. Sometimes I would come back and I would sleep for three hours a night, five nights a week and for six hours a night the other two nights a week.

11:09          And it was just, it was awful and I was very, very stressed out during that time and I’ve been very stressed out with client work and I find myself now being very stressed out about things when I don’t come at it from the right perspective. And I really believe that perspective brings a lot to distress scenario and that there’s a formula that I follow that when I follow it, things become significantly less stressful and much, much easier to deal with. See stress and the problems that cause stress are oftentimes inevitable. Like, there are certain things that just are the way that they are, and they cause stress, and they’re going to cause stress if we continue to let them cause stress. However, we can’t maybe change what has happened but we absolutely 100% can control how we respond to them. And I think that, that for me, has been a really big realization because oftentimes I’d get stressed, and I would get all mad.

12:04          And, this is before I even had control. I used to really like, just get really mad about things for no reason. And so, when I would do that like, my stress would go up because then I’d be getting mad, and I was mad at things that I couldn’t control, and then I would get mad at the fact that I was mad, and it would just be… it was all sorts of bad. And, my stress levels were through the roof. And when I realized that a lot of the stress that was happening in my life was due to the fact that I was reacting to things poorly, oh my gosh, like my entire life changed. And so, I kind of want to walk through that process with you here, because once I shifted the way I reacted to things, my stress often went down. And once I shifted that, then I was able to kind of, I don’t know how I want to say it, like I don’t want to say like, predict when stress was going to happen, but I was able to prepare myself better to deal with stressful situations before they ever happened, and I was able to set myself up for success in a stressful situation.

13:01          So, I want to talk about kind of the…. the formula here that I do, and the process that I go through to dealing with every situation, especially situations that are stressful, to diffuse as much stress as possible, and to come at it in a way that eliminates the stress as quickly as possible. Alright? So, let’s dive into that. The first thing is that I just go and I take a big deep breath, and I remove myself from the situation, and I actually mean this, like this has helped me so much. If I’m super stressed out about things, or like I’m… I’m freaking out, or I get on the phone and I’m like, wanting to yell at someone, or I’m wanting… it’s like, aaargh, right? The first thing I do is I go, “Stop, put my phone down.” If I’m sitting in my chair, I’ll oftentimes stand up.

13:50          If I’m in a room with… in my whiteboard, I like, I’ll walk out and I’ll get in a place like removing myself from that stressful energy, and go to a place where it’s like, “Okay, less stressful energy here.” And I just go, “Okay.” And sometimes I’ll do that two or three times, and sometimes I’ll need a full like a minute, but I just go and I just, “Okay.” Alright, let’s go. And like, I come at it with a very clear level head now, because I’ve allowed my thoughts to kind of settle. I’ve allowed my emotions to kind of work their way out of my system and go, “Alright?” And I re-enter that situation. I re-enter my…my thought process with a much more clear head, and I’m not letting my emotions, and the stress get the best of me. Right? So that’s the first thing. I really, really believe in the power of just breathing.

14:46          Alright? So that’s the first step. Second, I go and say, “Alright, I need to look at this from a completely objective point of view.” Now, I’ve talked about this before on the podcast when we talked about, you know, different things, but coming at things from a truly objective point of view, so that you get to have all the facts. See, most of us… and I’m very, very guilty of this in a lot of areas of my life, we don’t actually approach a situation based on fact. We approach the situation based on emotion. Almost everyone does this. Believe me, if you’re, if you do this, so does every other human being on the face of the planet at some point or another in their life? They come out of it from an emotional aspect of things. One of my favorite examples of this, and how this can really, really harm someone, and harm a situation is, there’s…, if you’ve ever seen the Avengers movies, there’s Avengers Infinity War, where Star Lord from Guardians of the Galaxy, and all the other avengers are on planet… I think it’s planet Titan. And, they have Pharanos, the main bad guy, under like control, or like they’re all holding him down, trying to get the glove off of his hand.

16:01          And so you’ve got, the one like weird like wizard lady type mind reader person on Thanos’ head, like trying to like keep him calm and then the rest of them. Dr Strange and you know them all., I’ll try and keep them held down and then Iron Man and Spiderman, are trying to get this guy his glove off and like this is the first time that they’ve had it to where they actually have power. They actually have him under control, and if they lose this battle right here, like the world is screwed. I kept, the universe is essentially, right? Because Thanos is so stinking powerful and Star Lord, this cocky guy, you know, walks up to Thanos and is like trying to figure out where his girlfriend is, where… where you know, Charlotte, his girlfriend is, and he finds out that Thanos kill… has killed this girl.

16:48          And so logically, right? From a logical perspective, if you were to take a step back and look at this, you’d go, “Okay, listen.” You’re about to win the battle that if you lose this battle, the world is going to die. Like half the universe will be destroyed. And, there are about to have the glove off. You have Thanos under control, don’t do anything stupid, wait until the glove is off, wait until you have things where they need to be, and then go and you know, take your vengeance out on Thanos. Wait, you know, two minutes or five minutes or whatever that thing is. But he lets his emotions get the best of him, right? And he goes… and he goes, “You son of a…”, you know, and like just starts punching him. And then they lose control with Dan has Dan was realized that the trying to take off his glove, grabs a glove back, puts it back on and ends up destroying half the universe, and half the people in the whole entire universe die.

17:34          Right? Why? Because Star Lord did not look at things from an objective point of view, from all the facts. He just got so emotional. He let his emotions get the best of him, and he just went all in, and just did things and from an very unsmart perspective. And so, it’s very important that you take a step back and that you look at things from a objective point of view. Do not let your emotions get the best of it. And I love doing this, because it has changed my life so dramatically. No matter if it is a…, you know, if I’m in a fight with someone, or if, you know, like when my mom and I are at odds, or my girlfriend and I are at odds, or my business partner and I are at odds, or I’m at odds with a client, or you know, whether I’m stressed out about a funnel, or I’m stressed out about… anything, like anything in life. I go and I breathe, and then I go, “Okay, what are the facts here?”

18:23          What are the things that, and I categorize them. What are the things that I have control over? What are the things that I don’t have control over and what are the outcomes based on my potential actions moving forward? If I leave it alone and do nothing, what’s the outcome. If I don’t leave it alone, and I do something, what are all the different potential things that I can do and what does that outcome look like or do I even know? And so I list all these things out and I took a very objective view of that because when I do that, all of a sudden now I know whether or not I am being reasonable in my stress, whether or not I am being reasonable in like the the scenario that I’m in right now because a lot of our stress comes from how we react, because we don’t look at things as they are.

19:15          We get emotionally involved or emotionally attached to them, and therefore it causes stress in our life. And this is true with money. This is true with relationships. This is true with business. This is true with food. This is true with your sleeping, like whatever that thing is. And you go, “Okay, here are the facts”, because at the end of the day, you cannot do what you can’t do. You know what I mean? Like, you only have so much control, and when you really take that objective view from it, it really, really super helps. So, first thing, breathe. Second thing, take a very objective view. Third thing, which I kind of touched on here in the second thing is, I make out a list of the scenarios. Like, what’s gonna happen if I do nothing? What’s gonna happen if I do this? What’s gonna happen if I do this? And I make out all of my options. And then, I go and I simply accept that the way things are right at this very moment, are that way.


20:11          And I do that and it’s like, “Well, Josh, you know, oh, you’re all about creating our own reality”, or whatever. Yes, but that’s moving forward. Alright? Like, moving forward, you have a choice on how you’re going to respond to things, but right now in the exact moment that you are living, the way things are right now, are the way things are. And when you can accept that and go, “Okay, this is how things are right now, from an objective point of view, I’m okay with that.” Whether you like… whether you like it or not, you have to accept that. And that gives you so much power moving forward because now you have identified, yes, this is where things are at. Yes, these are my options moving forward. Yes, these things are stressful, but I have the best possible. Like I’m choosing the best possible scenario moving forward.

21:00          Alright? And when you do that, all over sudden, your whole perspective of stress changes. If you’re like, okay, let… let’s say you’re, you know, I’m gonna… I mean use this scenario that, you know, will cause a lot of people stress, money. Okay? So, let’s say you’ve got $35,000 in debt. You are… you know, living more paycheck to paycheck. You’re kind of struggling for money a little bit, or whatever, and you know you got some bills coming up. You could sit around stress and be like, “Oh my gosh, I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I’m like, oh my God, I got kids, I got bills to pay, or I’ve got… you know, college debt coming up, or I’ve got this big task, I got like, whatever.” Like I don’t know how I’m gonna pay for these things. Then you can freak out or you can go, okay, I’ve got 14 days left in the month.

21:40          I’ve got $500 in my bank account. I know I have $700 worth of expenses coming up, and I know I’ve got two weeks to come up with that remaining $200, or whatever that thing is. I’m just making up a scenario here, right? Cause I’ve been in that exact scenario right there. Now, from here on out, what are my options? Reality is, that I have $500. I absolutely have to come up with $700. What are all my options? Lay them all out. Okay. is it stressful? Yes, but what’s my best plan of attack? Cool. This is what I believe my best plan of attack is moving forward. We’ll see if this works, and if it doesn’t, we’ll try something else. Great. I’ve accepted reality for what it is. I’m going to go create the best possible future that I possibly can based on actual objective facts.

22:25          I’m not emotionally attached. I’ve taken a step back, I’ve breathed, I’m level headed, I’m ready to rock and roll, and I’m ready to go with it. And then you move forward, and that’s how you deal with those things. And that’s how I’ve dealt with these things. And when you do that, your whole entire life really, truly changes because now you are in control of your actions, you’re in control of your emotions, you’re in control of everything moving forward. Now, there are times when there’s other people involved, and the other people are crazy, and you cannot control their doing. And sometimes you need to take a step back, and that’s my final piece here, and my final point that I’ve really had to learn how to do, is oftentimes when I’m stressed out, I want to be as involved in the process as possible. Like, I want to be just going drew and like trying everything, and fixing the problems, and you know, and what have you.

23:11          And there are certain times in very stressful situations when you are not the answer, when there’s nothing that you can do to control it. When it is truly a waiting game, or truly based on somebody else’s shoulders, or you know, really out there and it’s like, “You know what? I cannot control this right now, so I’m going to do the best that I can in my life to make sure that I’m doing everything that I can, to diffuse the situation, not have stress, but I know that it’s not entirely up to me, and I look at those situations, and if I do not have to be involved, if I can walk away, I do. Now what do I mean by that? Well, oftentimes in a very stressful situation, if you’re anything like me, you’re a control freak. I’m a control freak. I want to know everything.

23:53          I want to be involved at every step of the way, and I want to know exactly what’s going on. But some of the best things that I’ve ever done is looked at a very stressful situation, looked at it objectively, known that there is nothing that I can possibly do at the situation to change it. And the best thing for me to do is to turn it off right now. To look away from it right now and spend… depending upon the situation, an hour, two hours, a day, a week, a year, like however long that thing is, and go, “You know what? It’s not going to look at it until it comes to me. I can’t be stressed out about it. It’s not mine to deal with right now. I’m not going to stress about it and if I don’t see it, if I don’t think about it, I’m not saying that it’s going to go away.

24:32          What I am saying is, I acknowledge that I have done everything that I can, and now I’m leaving it up to…”, and in my case, God, but you know, whatever you believe. I’m just leaving it up to whatever happens happens here, because I’ve done my part and when you do that, yes, that might be a stressful thought right now, but think of what that’s doing. That’s relinquishing and saying, “You know what? I release the power that this stress has over me”, and go, “You know what? What’s going to happen is going to happen. I’ve done everything that I can. It’s up to it now”, and that is such a freeing feeling and it’s so hard to do, and it’s hard to practice, but once you get in the habit of doing that, if you’ve truly done everything that you can do, then you know you’re set, then that’s all you can do.

25:16          And, on the flip side, if you’re supposed to do something and you’re like, “Oh, my gosh, I’m just going to turn it off because I don’t want to deal with it right now. Way too stressful.” No, you’ve got to own up to it. You’ve got to go out there and be like, “Nope, I’m going to take this one step at a time, and I’m going to look at every single step objectively. And, I’m not going to try to bite off the whole piece. I’m not going to try to do 10 steps ahead right now. I’m going to do the next right thing. I’m going to do the next piece, and I’m not going to look 10 steps ahead. I’m not going 50 steps ahead. I’m gonna look one step ahead and go, “That is what I know I need to do right now. Let me deal with that”, and boom, go and do that. And then go, “Okay, what’s the next step?” Boom. Go and do that. I’ve dealt with some really stressful situations. Things where people are looking to me for answers to the tune of five thousand, ten thousand, twenty thousand, forty thousand dollars at a time when I don’t actually control the outcome, I don’t control when things happen. And, they’re looking to me like I do. Well, guess what? I can tell them all day long, you know, “Oh, it’s not me”, yada, yada, yada, but at the end of the day, none of that’s going to help. I go, “Okay, breathe. Look at it objectively. Here are my options. Here’s what I’m going to do. These parts of things are completely out of my control. I got to completely ignore them. These parts of the things I need to be involved with. I need to do my part of it and I’m going to move forward doing the next thing that I know how to do.”

26:34          And when I just focused on that, my stress levels have overwhelmingly decreased, and I’ve been able to let go so many things, and I was able to go, “You know what? Tomorrow’s another day. The world’s not going to end.” As long as you’re not doing stuff illegal, the worst thing that can happen, is that, you got to deal with it tomorrow, and keep moving forward, and you keep moving forward, and you keep moving forward, and you keep moving forward. The world is designed, right now, in modern day America, the world is designed to keep you pretty comfortable. And what I mean by that is like, if you fail in business, you can declare bankruptcy. You know? If you run out of money, like there’s… there are food stamps, which I mean, you… you’d hate to have to go onto those things, but it’s like… if you have half a brain and you know what you’re doing, and you’re willing to work hard, and you’re willing to take responsibility for your actions, America is a pretty good place and developed countries all over the world, because of the Internet, it’s a pretty good place and a pretty good scenario to be in, towards if everything goes wrong, you can still get back up on your feet.

27:31          And that right there should be a very comforting feeling, especially when it comes to dealing with stress. Alright. All right. I know in a little bit long, but I’ve been kind of going along on these episodes. I’ve been getting some feedback back from you guys that you like it. So, you like longer episodes, let me know. Will love to hear from you on Instagram @JoshForti. Hit me up on there and we’ll talk there. Thanks so much for listening. As always, hustle, hustle, God bless. Do not be afraid to think different, because those of us that think different are the ones that change the world. I love you all and I will see you on the next episode. Take it easy fam. Peace.

28:03          Yo, what’s up guys? You’ve been listening to The Think Different Theory with myself, Josh Forti, which I like to call, “A new paradigm of thinking”, and real quick, I got a question for you. Did you like this episode? If you did, I want to ask a huge favor. See, the biggest thing that helps this podcast grow, and that will spread this message of positivity and making the world a better place, is if you leave a review, a rating and subscribe to the podcast. What that does is, it basically tells the platforms that this is out on, that you like my stuff, and that I’m doing something right. So if you could take like three seconds out of your day and subscribe, leave a rating, and a review, I would be forever grateful for you. Also, I want to hear from you. I want to know your feedback, your ideas, and your questions for future episodes. So be sure to hit me up on Instagram in the DM @JoshForti or via email