Think Different Theory

The Other Side Makes You Smarter

WHAT IS THIS EPISODE ABOUT?

In this episode, I’m going to talk about how important it is to appreciate other people’s views and beliefs whenever we are having an argument or debate about a topic that we are passionate about. Seeing the other side of an argument that you believe in, does not make you weak, and I used to think that it did, but it actually makes you smarter, and it makes you a more well-rounded person.

WHY SHOULD I LISTEN?

Taking the time to listen to a differing opinion ensures that you can have an intelligent conversation with people, and enables you to convince them of what you believe.

Here are the key topics discussed in this episode:

  • How we change in life is important (02:07)
  • Reading books can positively impact your life (06:52)
  • Pride diminishes your ability to appreciate other people’s views  (11:28)
  • Accommodating other people’s beliefs (17:26)

WHERE CAN I LEARN MORE?

Be sure to follow me on the below platforms:

Subscribe to the podcast on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Stitcher.

Instagram @joshforti

Facebook

YouTube

WHEN DID IT AIR?

May 3, 2019

EPISODE LINKS:

Be sure to follow me on Instagram @joshforti

You can find the transcripts and more at www.thinkdifferenttheory.com/59

You can find this episode plus all the previous episode here.

Be sure to grab a copy of The Mindshift Playbook here

If you haven’t already, please rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts!

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

00:00          Seeing the other side of an argument that you believe in, does not make you weak, and I used to think that it did, but it actually makes you smarter, and it makes you a more well-rounded person, and it makes you be able to have an intelligent conversation with someone. Like, how the heck do you expect somebody else to see your side of the argument if you’re not willing to actually genuinely take the time to try to understand them? All these people are out there trying to convince other people of what they believe, without first going out there and listening to their side of things.

00:36          You are now entering a new paradigm. So, here’s my issue. I wanted to find the answers to life’s biggest questions. Things like, how do I become happy and live with purpose? How do I make more money doing what I love, and what does it mean to be truly successful in all areas of life? My name is Josh Forti, @JoshForti on Instagram, and I ask life’s biggest questions and share the answers with you. My goal is to help you find purpose, happiness, and open your mind to new realms of possibility by helping you think differently about everything you do, know, and understand. On this podcast, we think different, we dream bigger, and we live in a world without limits. This is a new paradigm. Welcome to The Think Different Theory.

01:17          What’s up guys? Welcome back to another episode of The Think Different Theory. My name is Josh Forti and we’re on episode number 59, which is super exciting. And, I want to talk in this episode a little bit about my past self, and some of the things that I used to believe that now, as I look back, and not only do I not believe them anymore, some of them are actually truly embarrassing, because, for those of you that know me, or knew me growing up, you know that my life has drastically, dramatically changed over the past… really over the past like, three or four years, but definitely over the past 10 years or so. And, as I sit here, it’s funny, I’m getting ready this… this week. Let me start with this. Some things don’t change. Alright? And, one of the things that haven’t changed, is that there are certain things, very few things, but certain things that I just geek out and get excited for.

02:07          And one of the things that I’m very excited for is later this week, End Game, the Marvel movie comes out, and I had been geeking out over it all week. And, I like… I watched the Infinity War movie again from start to finish, and I hardly ever watch movies twice. And I’ve watched so many theories and catchup YouTube clips, or whatever. And so, as I was filming and making this episode, I was thinking of all the things that have changed in my life, but I was also realizing that some things never change. Right? And I’m… there are certain movies and Marvel movies, particularly Iron Man, have always been that one type of movie that just grabs my attention, and I’m like, “Oh my gosh, this is amazing.” And, it’s been awesome, but diving into the purpose of this episode, which is what has changed, and how much we change in life, and while… and why it’s so important, I believe, not to get cocky, not to get arrogant, and not to really… you know, make… make broad, sweeping definite statements in life, because it can come back to bite you or embarrass you, and you know, things in the past.

03:11          So, there’s… I’m going to get kinda… kinda open up a little bit in this episode, and kind of get real and… you know, maybe down the road, this episode, I don’t know, maybe it can hurt me with that… hopefully not, you know, I’m just always someone that likes to be open and honest, and transparent about things and… you know, and really share my beliefs on things. So, obviously, growing up, I grew up in a very conservative household. My, you know, my parents who I love to death, you know, they always would try their best, I believe, raised us and at least in my younger years, in a very, very conservative way, a very conservative way.

03:43          And, so I went from ultra uber conservative to where I am now, which isn’t quite as conservative in any sense of the word, I would say, as I used to be. And I will say that a lot of the beliefs that I had growing up, that came from those conservative teachings actually weren’t the same beliefs that my parents had, and actually, you know, did not accurately reflect them. These were freestanding opinions and actions upon which I did, but a couple of the things that… and actually want to touch on one, which I can’t wait for the episode to come out about this. We’re going to talk about it at a later time, but one of them is actually climate change. And so, I’m going to start with that one because I think it’s easy, but it’s fascinating to me as I’ve gone through my life, and as I’ve… as I’ve grown and learned new things, I will look back at my life and I’ll go, “How… how drastically different did my life look back five years ago, eight years ago, then it does now? How much have I learned? How much have I matured?”

04:40          And so a lot of the things that I’m anti right now, or a lot of things that I… you know, say now, I try to really do a lot of research on it before taking a definite stand on something and definitely putting it out there as a belief or a truth of mine, and it’s also one of the reasons that I am very much in search of truth, and in search for how to make decisions and beliefs, because of how much my beliefs have changed over the past several years of my life, and throughout my life. But, starting with this whole climate change one, I remember, you know, back… I grew up on a farm, and so, you know, naturally, you know, living out on the farm, one of the things that… a lot of country people do, is make fun of environmentalist’s.

05:21          We have a lot of fun, or had a lot of fun making fun of environmentalists, and I was the one that, you know, the, the guy that wanted the big truck, diesel engine, smokestacks, getting 12 miles to the gallon, with… you know, a switch that I could switch on, so that it just rolled smoke, and I was… you know, the type of person that on that on Earth Day I would post pictures or I would, you know, go out and like saw down trees, and be like, “Happy Earth Day”, you know, like just totally mocking the environment, not thinking that climate change was real, or that you know, that our effects on the earth are… you know, making a difference in any sort, that the earth basically just has unlimited resources. And I would mock that. And while this might seem crazy to some people, or you know, maybe some people listening might be like, “Alright Josh, don’t go on an environmentalist rant”, but I’m serious and we’re going to get into that… you know, at a later time. Earth Day just pass, which is kind of cool.

06:09          But… we’ll get into that at a later episode, cause I want to do one on climate change and environmentalist, and stuff, but back then I really didn’t believe in any of that. I really didn’t believe that the fact that we produced so much gas and oil, and so much… you know, plastic products, and the way we just polluted the air. I really didn’t believe any of those things mattered, or made a difference. And now as I grow up, and as I look at those things, I go, “Oh my gosh, this is so crazy to me, because if we don’t make a difference, I think it’s going to be huge, and have lasting impacts on us.” And so, you know, that for me was a big eye opener when I started to realize that. And one of the other things that, you know, I think for me, it was one of those like, big eye-opening moments, for me, was reading books. As simple as… and crazy as that sounds.

06:52          You might be like, “Wait, Josh. Reading books. You didn’t like to read books.” Like, I made fun of people that read books. I was like, “Reading books is a waste of time. Reading and learning.” I’m like, “Just go out and do, take action”, yadda yadda. And, you know, it wasn’t until probably within the last year or so, that I started reading books, that I realized how much reading books can actually change someone’s life, and how much they changed my life, and how much I have learned through that. And, you know, just huge, huge breakthrough that I’ve had with different books that I’ve read, and studying, but I remember, you know, literally saying that I wanted to make it through life without ever read a book, and that the only book I’d ever read is the Bible, and just… you know, bashing on people that wrote books, that wasted time reading books and, you know, just go out there and do, and learn, and that’s the fastest way.

07:34          And you know, what’s interesting, is that I… you know, stem a lot of these things, and kind of talk about this later as well. But like, a lot of the… the beliefs that I had stemmed out of my hatred for something, or my disdain for something else. Right? So like, for example, I associated books with the school system and learning, and I associated like learning and the school system with something that was broken, and that had failed me, and that I hated. And so to me like, reading books was basically like, you know, wasting time in the school system. Obviously, that’s… the school books are a very, very limited part of overall books and education as a whole. Right? And so, you know, that was a huge belief that ultimately changed and shifted for me. I remember saying that I thought all debt was a bad thing. Right?

08:20          And I grew up, and money… money mindset that has shifted has been huge. But I remember saying, you know, “When I’m rich and famous someday, I will pay whatever taxes in order to keep my money in cash and not go into debt over…. I’ll never leverage debt, yadda, yadda, yadda, and that anybody that does that is just stupid and what have you.” And now I look at it and I go, “Oh my gosh, like in real estate, and for different business, like debt can be a very, very good thing.” Right? And how my whole entire world has shifted when it comes to money, and how to make money. And… and I used to, you know, mock people that handled or did certain things with money, cause I totally knew back then. Right? Like, I was so super smart. And, the list of these things just keeps going on and on and on, of all these different things that I would think. The way I treat people. Right?

09:06          Like, if I disagreed with someone, and this one is… this is probably honestly the biggest thing in my life that has really shifted for me, is the way that I treat people, and the way that I view people that have a different view of me. When I was growing up, in fact, I would say arguably till the time I was probably 22, maybe even 23 years old, like it was… it’s been fairly recent in the last probably two or three years. Growing up, if you disagreed with me, I mocked you, I made fun of you, I like… I was the biggest Democrat mocker ever. Like I was a Republican, Democrats were wrong, Obama was the devil, yada yada. I mean, that’s like the stupid things that I believed and I was not willing to see the other side of that. I was not willing to see the other side of what could potentially be a different perspective or different point of view.

09:54          And, it really, really hindered me, and really, really hurt me. And for me, as I went and I really like dove into these things, and I kind of started learning about new things, as I got around successful people. And you know, I think my big breakthrough was reading. Right? When I started reading and I realized the power of reading, that’s when I kind of realized, “Holy crap.” Like maybe that… you know, these things that I was bashing, or that I was anti, might have some merit to them, maybe I should like to reevaluate a lot of my beliefs, and you know, then when I started treating… treating people with respect, once again, my entire life changed. And, it’s fascinating… crazy to me, because I remember thinking like, treating people with the respect that, or like, not completely making fun of, and proving my point to someone that disagreed with me, was just like the most ludicrous thought in the world.

10:44          Like why would you waste your time trying to like hear their side of the story? I was clearly right all the time. And, when I started hearing other people’s side of the story, and when I started taking time to honestly take an interest in their side, and honestly try to understand where they were coming from, my entire life changed. And for me, I think the biggest piece for me in this, was in the political realm. Right? For me, I knew that I didn’t know a lot about business and so I was willing to listen to advice, but in the political realm and in the religious realm, it was like, my way or no way. Like clearly if you were a Democrat, you were wrong. Right? Or clearly, if you thought climate change was a real thing, you were… you were an idiot. Right? Like, “Oh my gosh, you have to be dumb for that.”

11:28          And, I never took the time to just listen to the other side. And so, as I really started talking about this, and thinking about this, and as I was preparing for this podcast episode, I thought, “Okay, what was it? What were those things that were causing me to do that? Why was I so… you know, like derailed in these ways? What… what was causing me to… to not… be willing to see the other side? What was causing me to be so rude? What was causing me to, you know, do those things?” And, I boiled it down to a couple of things. And quite frankly, the first one is just hard to swallow. And, it’s hard to swallow for a lot of people, and it’s… I believe, one of the main reasons that most people will never make a change, or have a very, very hard time changing.

12:06          And that is, pride. I had so much pride guys. My pride was just through the roof, and my ego was through the roof, and admitting to someone that you could be wrong, or admitting to someone that the way you’ve acted might not be the correct way to do things, or admitting to even yourself. And that was probably the hardest thing, like admitting it to yourself that, and actually believing that, that you could be wrong, and that you didn’t have all the answers. That was a big ego killer for me. And that was me having to swallow my pride. And it took me a long time to swallow that pride, a long time to get to that space, and go, “Oh my gosh, I might not be right about things. Oh my gosh, I don’t know everything. Oh my gosh like, what I hear one time out of, you know, a TV show, or on the internet, or you know, from a speaker, might not actually be truth. What I think in my head based on my experiences might not be the actual case, and more importantly, the way that I’ve treated people in the past might not be the way that I should have treated them, and I actually have to go through, and I have to apologize, and I have to… you know, say that I was wrong and ask for forgiveness there.

13:19          And that was, that was a really big hard pill for me to swallow. And most people are never actually able to do that. And so, you know, it’s one of those things that every single day I tried to swallow my pride. And when I’m learning something new, I actually genuinely want to see the other side. I want to see all angles. It’s why I have questioned things, everything, including the Bible, which I believe to be perfectly true. I question those things because I’m like, “Okay, I want to make sure that I’m looking at all sides of this. I want to make sure that, you know, I’m seeing the other person’s perspective.”

13:49          And you know, recently on this podcast I did an episode talking about welfare, and the government, and college, and the border, and whatnot. And I invited an open discussion. And when I’m on Facebook and on Instagram, I welcome open discussion, and feedback because I have realized in my life how much my life has changed, and how much through learning, and through growing up, my perceptions and my beliefs have changed. Right? Simply because I learned more. Simply because I have more information now. And so, I feel… you know, I feel bad for all the people that I’ve hurt in the past. And so, I’ve made a commitment to myself to always be open to seeing the other side, even if I’m quite certain, and quite sure, that I am right on something. I always want to at least see the other side. And so, for example, you know, one of the things that, was… was hard for me to… to… and I want to… I want to be careful about this. How do I say this?

14:47          Just because you see the other side of something. Okay, this is actually a really good point that I… I kinda wanna make. Most people think that seeing the other side means that you are admitting that you are wrong, or that you… that means you must make a change, or that you somehow admit defeat or that they are right. And that’s not the case. Seeing the other side simply means that you are open-minded enough, to try to understand where they’re coming from, even if you believe that they’re wrong. And being open-minded to say, “Okay, does what that other side say have like actual, like points that… and reason behind them, and something that I can learn from, or something that I can… you know, maybe shift my belief because it does have truth to it. It doesn’t mean you have to, it simply means you’re open to the idea.

15:42          And so, one of the things that were… this was incredibly hard for me to do, on this particular case. And, it was one of those things where I almost felt like, “Oh my gosh, this is so wrong”, as I was doing it, but once I did it, I understood, even though I vastly still to this day very much disagree with this thing, and I’m going to share it with you in just a second here. It’s one of those things where I am glad that I at least took the time to try to see the other side, and when… when I can have some like, open conversation with someone that believes this way, and not get super defensive, and they don’t freak out at me for disagreeing with them. I enjoy having this conversation and that is the conversation of abortion. So, for those of you that know me, or maybe you don’t, like I am overwhelmingly pro-life.

16:28          Alright, I do not believe in abortion. And, you know, I believe that the only time that abortion is ever okay would be to save the mother. Right? If the mother was going to die, you know, with… with the child. And, you know, I look at that and I go, “Okay. What… what could possibly make someone believe that that is okay?” Like, I believe that life begins at conception, and I believe that… that all life is given by God, and that it is… it is real, and that it needs to be protected and preserved. But I have taken the time to sit down with people, particularly women who are very pro-choice, and that are totally okay with abortion. And I… and I, you know, sit down, and that’s one of those things where like, I’m like, “How the… how could you?” And, you know, in my past life, when I was, you know, 16, 17, 18, 19 years old, I would be the guy that’s just like, “You’re… you know, you’re evil. You’re going to hell. Yeah. You know.”

17:26          I would just scream at them, and laugh at them, and make fun of them, and in mock them, and I would, like how are you supposed to change someone’s opinion that way? How do I expect the person that… you know, I’m mocking or I… that I disagree with? How am I expected… supposed to expect them to even hear what I’m saying, or even come to my side, or understand me, if I’m not willing to sit down and hear their side of things. And so, I sat down and I’ve sat down with several different people on this, and I’ve asked, I’ve said, “Why do you believe that that is okay? Why…. why do you believe this?” And I’ve been very open about it, and while I still disagree with them, I look at that and I go, “Oh, okay. I… I understand better now, at least your thought process.”

18:11          I might disagree with you, but I’m going to treat you with respect, and I would ask that… you know, since I’ve been open to listen to your side, and truly open to it, that you know, you allow me to share why I believe what I believe, and that we have an intelligent open discussion about that, and be willing to see the other side, because it is fascinating to me how much I have learned, in doing those things. And, climate change is one of those things, and like, environmental things, is one of those things where I have really, really shifted my belief by being willing to see the other side. And, abortion is one of those things where I have really tried to see the other side, and not been changed, but I’ve learned through both of them. And so that’s one of the things that, you know, in my life, I just try to open up and see both sides of the issue, because when I do that, I learned so much, and I have a better understanding of people, I have a better understanding of… you know, humans, and the way people think.

19:07          And, you know, ultimately a better understanding of myself, and of, you know, the world around me because it’s… it’s a new perspective, and you know, I encourage everyone to do that and live in such a way that says, “Hey, I’m willing to see the other side, because you don’t want to be the person that’s always mocking the other side thinking that you’re right, only to find out, you know, 20 years, or five years, or 10 years down the road that you were wrong, and have to swallow that pride because most people never do. Most people never swallow that pride. Most people will stick with their ego, not admit that they were wrong, and have to double down on something that, maybe they’ve found out later it’s just not true. So, anyway, I wanted to just leave you with that.

19:44          As you’re going in, I believe this episode’s going to drop on a Friday. So as you’ve been… you know, going in and… and head into the weekend, have an open mind on something. Have a conversation with someone that maybe you’ve never had a conversation with or about before. Right? Like, something that you, maybe something as simple as like, I don’t know, like if you’re like, “Josh, I don’t want to… I don’t want to talk about like deep things.” Great. Have a… have a conversation with someone who’s a New England Patriots’ fan and why the New England Patriots are clearly the best team in the world. Like duh, I mean. This is pretty obvious stuff. No, just kidding, but like have a conversation with someone on like, even little things. Just start to shift your perspective on the little things cause that will eventually get into bigger things, and… you know, I think that that can really change your life, and really broaden your perception on a lot of different things.

20:26          And I know it has for me as well. Alright, guys, that is all I got for you. Thank you so much for listening. If you have not yet, if you’re new here, or if you just haven’t yet, if you could subscribe to the podcast, and then go on iTunes and leave a rating and review, it just… it really helps. I know I say that at the intro and outros of the podcast, but I’m serious. It really, really helps us a lot to be able to go and to rate those. So I would appreciate it. Thank you so much. As always, hustle, hustle, God bless, do not be afraid to think different because those of us that think different are going to be the ones that change the world. I love you all and I will see you on the next episode. Take it easy fam. Peace.

21:06          Yo, what’s up guys? You’ve been listening to The Think Different Theory with myself, Josh Forti, which I like to call, “A new paradigm of thinking”, and real quick, I got a question for you. Did you like this episode? If you did, I want to ask a huge favor. See, the biggest thing that helps this podcast grow, and that will spread this message of positivity and making the world a better place, is if you leave a review, a rating and subscribe to the podcast. What that does is, it basically tells the platforms that this is out on, that you like my stuff, and that I’m doing something right. So if you could take like three seconds out of your day and subscribe, leave a rating, and a review, I would be forever grateful for you. Also, I want to hear from you. I want to know your feedback, your ideas, and your questions for future episodes. So be sure to hit me up on Instagram in the DM @JoshForti or via email contact@ThinkDifferentTheory.com.