WHAT IS THIS EPISODE ABOUT?
In this episode, I’m going to talk about struggles and failures, and how to embrace the fact that they help us become better by pushing us to ask the right questions. Nobody likes failure, we hate it when we fail, but by the end of this episode, I truly believe that I will have helped you shift your perspective of failure.
WHY SHOULD I LISTEN?
I will talk about how I learned to enjoy my struggles and find positivity in them, because in the end, doing that enabled me to learn so much more than I could have ever learned, and it totally changed my life for the better.
Here are the key topics discussed in this episode:
- Struggle, failure and not being ahead in life (02:05)
- Failure is where you learn (03:44)
- Shifting our view of failure and struggle (06:05)
- Asking the questions that matter (07:44)
- Emotions affect our decision-making processes (10:04)
- Dealing with failures and setbacks well (14:02)
- Even when you’re failing, you’re winning (14:48)
WHERE CAN I LEARN MORE?
Be sure to follow me on the below platforms:
WHEN DID IT AIR?
May 24, 2019
Be sure to follow me on Instagram @joshforti
You can find the transcripts and more at www.thinkdifferenttheory.com/68
Additional Resources: Principles by Ray Dalio
You can find this episode plus all the previous episode here.
Be sure to grab a copy of The Mindshift Playbook here
If you haven’t already, please rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts!
The Transcript Is Auto Generated And May Contain Spelling And Grammar Errors
00:00 Stop hating it and wishing that it didn’t happen because that is where you learn more than anywhere else. When you’re struggling, when you’ve failed, when you’re down, when things aren’t going well. That is when you learn to ask the right questions. That is where you learn more than anything else, and if you can learn to get through that wealth, you can learn to struggle well, if you can learn to reflect and ask the right questions during that time, it will completely change your life forever.
00:30 You are now entering a new paradigm.
00:34 So, here’s my issue. I wanted to find the answers to life’s biggest questions. Things like, how do I become happy and live with purpose? How do I make more money doing what I love, and what does it mean to be truly successful in all areas of life? My name is Josh Forti, @JoshForti on Instagram, and I ask life’s biggest questions and share the answers with you. My goal is to help you find purpose, happiness, and open your mind to new realms of possibility by helping you think differently about everything you do, know, and understand. On this podcast, we think different, we dream bigger, and we live in a world without limits. This is a new paradigm. Welcome to The Think Different Theory.
01:15 What’s up guys? Welcome back to another episode of The Think Different Theory. My name is Josh Forti welcome back to another episode. I think this one is dropping on a Friday. So, happy Friday, going into the weekend here. And, I want to talk to you about a concept that… I’m going to be honest with you. I… I really didn’t learn until recently, and I’m still learning it, but the more I dive into learning about mindset and learning about, you know, everything that we’ve talked about recently, the more I’m diving into all these different pieces, I’m learning the importance of this piece right here. I’m learning the importance that this part of life plays, and how much you can learn from it, and how it will radically transform your life when you take a radically different approach than everybody else to this particular piece. And… and that’s what we’re going to talk about here today.
02:05 Talking about struggle, talking about failure, and talking about not being ahead in life. Like, when you’re down in the dirt. And I want to talk about that in more detail here, because I hope to radically transform your view of failure. We all heard inspirational stories, you know, about this, but I really want to help you take a different approach because when I did this, and when I started doing this, when I continue to do these things on a daily basis, it really changed my life. So anyway, welcome back to the program. Thanks so much for being here. I hope you have a great weekend going in. I hope you had a great week so far. I, the last couple of podcast episodes were a little bit deep, and definitely thought-provoking for sure. And so this one, I’m going do less like, teaching about parts of brains, and this and that, and just more on just really good sound advice hopefully, and something that I’ve been doing, and… in my life and that has changed my life dramatically.
02:54 That hopefully, can help you as well. Alright, so let’s dive in. So, one of the things that I used to absolutely hate, and I mean absolutely hate was failure, being down, struggling and things not working out. I mean, when I first started I just thought that was the worst. In fact, I thought that if I failed, or if something didn’t go my way, or something that happened that wasn’t expected, or that set me back, or anything like that, I viewed it as a failure and I viewed it as… I thought people would look… look at me weird or that they wouldn’t trust me anymore, or that obviously, I did something wrong or like that I was doing something, you know, like that I was supposed to be doing, like something happened that shouldn’t have, that was causing me to be there, and I was just super, super bummed up, and I thought that these… these failures or these setbacks that I’m going to refer to them as, I’m just going to refer to them kind of universally here as setbacks.
03:44 I thought that the… the bad times and the setbacks were bad things. And, you know, some people I would talk to would be like, “Hey, you know, this is where you learn. You get to keep back up.” And we’ve all heard the cliche sayings of like, “You… it’s only failing if you quit.” And like, “Failure is where you learn”, and yada, yada, like, yes, okay, we’ve all heard those things, but I didn’t understand that. And, quite frankly, I just kind of all thought that those were, “Oh yeah, motivational quotes, woohoo.” And yes, like as we go through life, and as we look back on the times that we’re down, and you know, where we failed and where we had these setbacks, yes, we can learn a tremendous amount from them, but that was all in the future. Right? It was like, “Well, eventually, one day I’m going to look back at this and laugh, or one day I’m going to look back at this and learn.” Well then, I don’t know about, probably like a month and a half or so ago, maybe… maybe a little bit longer than that.
04:32 I was really thinking about failure and I was really thinking about setbacks and about struggling and struggling well and kind of everything that’s involved with setbacks and how frustrating it has been for me. And for me, part of failing or part of having setbacks was also an identity scared because I didn’t believe that people would like me if I failed. In fact, I had a very deep conversation with this about where I’m sorry about this with Leah, my girlfriend, and I was like, if I lost everything, like would you still love me? Like if I, you know, if this happened, if I failed here with this, like what would you think of me? And of course like of course you would, but, and I knew that, but I needed to hear from her. I started like asking these questions and talking through these things because I’m like, we struggle and setback and failure, those are not easy things.
05:15 It’s something we all struggle with and I wanted to better have an understanding of how to deal with those things well and, and be secure in that. And so I started diving into these topics a little bit more. Well, Dan, one day a thought hit me and I had never thought about it this way ever before. And maybe you have, maybe you haven’t, but this hit me and I was like, oh my Gosh, Huh? I wonder if it’s possible. And I said, what if instead of having to wait a year, six months, 10 years, 20 years, 30 whatever, you know, however they like the time is what if instead of waiting that long, I could do something in my life now or during a setback, during a time of failure where I’m behind and struggling, that would allow me to start learning those life lessons. Now.
06:05 What if I could shift my view of failure and struggle and really learned to enjoy it? Not so much the fat, enjoy the fact that I’m struggling, but I could find like positivity and I could find like learning right now because in my head when I would fail, I’d be like, Oh yeah, we learned a bunch through that failure. Great. But I never really knew how to maximize a failure. And that sounds weird, but hear me out here. Okay. Because everything about this, I’m like, well, there are certain failures that I’m looking back at my life right now and I’m going, Huh man, I wish I would’ve done more of this over in that failure. So I would know more about that here all I wish I really would have thought more on this during that time so that my, my perspective would have been changed.
06:53 I really, I really wished that I could be in that scenario again so that I could wonder what I was thinking during that timeframe or there’s like, you know what I was thinking during that timeframe and then I could, you know, to things, I started looking back and I’m like, well, what if I just did that for every failure moving forward? What if I started treating new failures, new, uh, setbacks? Like, like I want to going back with my old setbacks. And this completely shifted my perspective because what I realized as I studied this is that in times of failure, we often start asking questions that we would not ask before. So during the time when like you are at the bottom, when you’re in desperation, when things are not going well, guess what you’re going to start doing. You’re going to start working harder.
07:44 You’re going to start asking questions cause you’re gonna be like, I need to change right? Freaking now what went wrong? What, what? When you go into your what happened here or whatever year and you’re gonna Start asking questions that you would’ve never asked before. And as you guys know, like the whole thing, different theory is literally based on the concept of asking questions in life and sharing those answers with you, asking the right questions. And I firmly believe that anyone at any area, at any stage of their life simply can get, can get to where ever they want to be in life simply by asking the right questions. And I’m like, well what if I started asking better questions during time of failure? What if I started asking better questions when I was in the middle of a setback? And that’s exactly what I started doing.
08:23 And I realized that my entire life perspective of failures and setbacks changed because now when I enter a failure, when I have a setback, when I lose money or when I don’t get a client, when I thought I was, you know, going to get a client or when I fail on a sales call or when I’m having a fight with someone, you know, like let’s say Leah and I earned an argument or something or you know, I’m talking to my mom and, and she and I are not even like when things are not going well, rather than looking at as a failure or a setback. What if I was like, okay, how can I learn from this? And what questions do I need to be asking right now? And documenting and taking down so that I have a broader perspective of this and more information, what to look back upon and learn from right now as well.
09:07 And so as I started studying setbacks and failures and what goes on in there, I realize that not only during that timeframe are we more likely to ask questions and really seek answers and do a tremendous amount of learning, like so much more so than at any other time. Like when things are going well, let’s just face it, right? Like we don’t ask great questions. Oftentimes when things are going well, when things are going well, we get weak. When things are going well, we get soft. When things are going well, we let things slip because things are going well. But we’re when we’re desperate when we have a failure, when we’re facing failure and we have setbacks, like we’re gonna start asking questions and we’re really gonna stay focused on things. Right? So I realized that, but on the second part of things, I realize that emotions also super, super are like run heavy and run or a run high, I should say in a setback or in a time when you are facing failure because now you have an emotional attachment to that.
10:04 And so I asked myself the question, okay, so if I know that in a, uh, a setback scenario or a failure scenario that I am more likely to ask questions and, and really seek out answers to get me to where I want to be, but also that I am more prone to be emotional during that time. How does a moat or how do emotions affect my decision-making process? Because remember, when you’re thinking in your conscious state of mind, upper brain, lower brain, let’s go back to that, right? And your upper brain consciousness, logical decisions. Subconscious is emotional. When your emotions start getting in the way of things, then it prevents your logical brain, your upper brain to start making logical decisions. And so if I have emotions that are involved in negative emotions and sad emotions and overwhelm emotions that are involved in it, my decision-making process when I’m asking critical questions and when I’m learning a lot, I am typically asking big huge questions in life and big huge questions that are going to get me to the next level in an emotional state.
11:09 And that’s probably not the best state of mind to be asking them in and so I wrote down it and I was like, okay, this is a key factor here because if I am making emotional life decisions or asking big questions about life from an emotional state of mind was not a good thing. I need to be asking those things objective Lee, and really just sitting down and going, okay, I’ve got to be in a good state of mind before I start asking these questions. And so that’s what I’ve learned to do is alright, I’m faced with a setback. I’m going to be emotional. Great, let the emotions go get it out, done. Alright, now it’s time to focus on the good focus on the positivity of, okay, we’ve got this, we’ve got this. Look at things with a very clear level head and start asking the right questions.
11:51 Come at this from a place of logic, objective thinking going, what are the facts, what are the scenarios and what questions do I need to be asking in order to get the most out of this failure? How do I maximize my failure? Because if I can maximize my failure, then when the failure passes, when the setback passes, when I get to the other side, I’m going to have even more information to go off of. My mind is going to be that much more broadened and so now my next failure hopefully is not going to be similar to that first failure because I have learned as much as I possibly could to avoid that failure again in the future. In that setback, a lot of times the reason that we continue to make you know, have failures over and over and over again is because we don’t learn from the first time and it’s like, well, why didn’t you learn from the first time?
12:35 Well, why do you think it is? Because a lot of the questions that you’re asking, a lot of decisions that you’re making during that time of failure, you’re doing from a place of emotion, not a place of logic. And so, of course, you’re not going to get everything that you need out of that. Of course you’re going to potentially, you know, fall back into that trap because you didn’t actually learn because you all emotional about it. And I realized this and I went, okay, I got to make a change. I’ve got to shift my perspective. And so when I shifted my perspective from looking at a failure and I sat back as a bad thing, a reason to be emotional and to just ask the questions that are going to make it go away super fast. And I shifted from that and instead I went and said, okay, I’m in this state of failure or setback.
13:16 I’m in this place right now where I’m confused, I’m overwhelmed. And I took the time to let the emotions go, to work through it, to breathe, to take a step back logically and go, thank you that I’m in this spot right now because now I am forced to ask good questions and I’m going to learn more right now than I could possibly learn when things are going well. Because once again, when things are going well, yeah, I mean it’s great, but also like you’re not forced to really dive deep. If you don’t have to take some men’s amount of discipline to learn when things are going super well, so I’m like, well, this is forcing me to have to learn. This is awesome. Now I’m in this state, now I have an entirely new perspective. I’m nobody’s going to choose to like fail so that they can have a better perspective, so you might as well utilize the failures that you have for perspective.
14:02 I’ve got this perspective. What questions do I need to be asking? What questions do I need to be focused on? What do I need to be learning here and how can I do that objectively without letting emotions get involved so that I can maximize this? You need to learn how to struggle and how to deal with failures and setbacks. Well, in radar, Leo’s book that I’m reading right now, his principles book, he talks about, hey, we’re all going to struggle. Everybody struggles. I still struggle and right. Dahlia seem to say he’s still struggle. I still struggle. We all struggle. The goal is not to avoid struggles. The goal is to learn how to struggle. Well, the goal is to learn how to deal with failures and setbacks well, and you do that by asking the right questions. Don’t wish failures would go away. Don’t try to eliminate setbacks, deal with the setbacks and the values that you have in the best way possible so that you can learn the maximum amount.
14:48 And when you do that and when you completely shift mind and you go, oh my gosh, I have an opportunity here to learn more now in this time of failure than anytime when things are going well and you get excited about that, it completely changes your perspective. And like I said, it basically turns it into a win so that you’re always winning. Even when you’re failing, you’re winning because now you’re learning. And that’s the perspective that completely changed my life and radically, radically changed my life and will for you as well. Now, am I always doing this every single time I’m trying, do I fail? I’ve been doing, do I fail hat at looking at it from a positive perspective? Yes. I don’t always get it right. Every single failure that I encounter, I’m not always psyched about, but I’m trying and I’m getting better at it and I’m getting better at it.
15:30 I’m getting better at it, and I continue to try over and over and over again because that’s what life is all about. Continuing continuously getting better and better and better, and I want to encourage you to do that with your failures and with your setbacks. All right. All right guys, that’s all I got for you. Happy weekend. Enjoy your weekend. Like I said, if you’re not listening to this on a weekend, enjoy the rest of your day the rest of your week. I appreciate you. Thank you so much for listening. I would love to hear your thoughts with this on Instagram @JoshForti seriously if you’re not following me on there, I just, I post so much good stuff there and I love your guys’ feedback and hearing back from you more of what you like and don’t like.
16:07 So just hit me up on there. Send me a DM. I’d love to hear from you. All right guys. As I said, I love you all and I will see you on the next episode. Please think different. It will change your life. Take it easy fam piece. Yo, what’s up guys? You’ve been listening to The Think Different Theory with myself, Josh Forti, which I like to call, “A new paradigm of thinking”, and real quick, I got a question for you. Did you like this episode? If you did, I want to ask a huge favor. See, the biggest thing that helps this podcast grow, and that will spread this message of positivity and making the world a better place, is if you leave a review, a rating and subscribe to the podcast. What that does is, it basically tells the platforms that this is out on, that you like my stuff, and that I’m doing something right. So if you could take like three seconds out of your day and subscribe, leave a rating, and a review, I would be forever grateful for you. Also, I want to hear from you. I want to know your feedback, your ideas, and your questions for future episodes. So be sure to hit me up on Instagram in the DM @JoshForti or via email contact@ThinkDifferentTheory.com.