Think Different Theory

How to Become Friends with Successful People


In this episode, I’m going to talk about how to network properly. Everybody talks about the importance of building your network and networking with people, but very few people actually know how to do it.


It’s actually not that hard, but there is a process behind it, and I will teach you how to do it all effectively.

Here are the key topics discussed in this episode:

  • How to properly reach out to influencers (04:42)
  • The three part process of networking (09:20)
  • Being intentional about the people you network with (10:59)
  • Having a genuine interest and expecting nothing in return (14:01)


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June 5, 2019


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The Transcript Is Auto Generated And May Contain Spelling And Grammar Errors

00:03          Everybody talks about the importance of building your network, and networking with people, but very few people actually know how to do it, and I do, and I can say that, because I’ve gotten Grant Cardone to add me back on Snapchat, and promote my Instagram course during the first 10X Growth Con. I’ve gotten Gary Vaynerchuk to follow me back on Twitter, and to put me all over social media. I’ve gotten invited to Russell Brunson’s private viral event parties and I’m one of his top affiliates. Networking is not actually that hard, and I want to show you how to do it. Most people just do it so wrong.

00:31          You are now entering a new paradigm. So, here’s my issue. I wanted to find the answers to life’s biggest questions. Things like, how do I become happy and live with purpose? How do I make more money doing what I love, and what does it mean to be truly successful in all areas of life? My name is Josh Forti, @JoshForti on Instagram, and I ask life’s biggest questions and share the answers with you. My goal is to help you find purpose, happiness, and open your mind to new realms of possibility by helping you think differently about everything you do, know, and understand. On this podcast, we think different, we dream bigger, and we live in a world without limits. This is a new paradigm. Welcome to The Think Different Theory.

00:36          What’s up guys? Welcome back to another episode of The Think Different Theory. My name is Josh Forti, and I guess I got to start you off… with this episode with a little bit of humor. I want to read through some of the requests that I get on a daily basis to connect with me. Now, I want to kind of set the tone here. I get dozens of requests, like message requests per week, on both Instagram and Facebook. And some of them that come through are just so mind blowing. And, I’m trying not to like, I don’t want to read off some of these that are just so bad, but like some of them I just have to read off to you, because I want to talk today about the importance of networking, and how to network properly. And some people are just so bad at it, it’s just so bad.

01:19          So, I want to read to you some of… these actual messages that I get on a daily basis, for this. Now, keep in mind, I charge a minimum, a minimum of $500 an hour to consult with things. Right? Like, and that is just because the demand is there, people have paid it for me in the past, and I value my time. I don’t want to do like one-off coaching, one-off consulting, so I charge between $500 and a thousand dollars on average, to consult with me. And, I have told people, over and over and over again like I… I don’t really just sit on coach… coaching and consulting calls, like I do it if there’s a specific reason for it, and I also have… a pretty like, I’m not trying to be like, arrogant or boastful or anything, but I have a pretty well known audience on Facebook, or like message out on Facebook.

02:04          I got 15,000 people that follow my personal profile, I have 27,000 on Instagram and growing. So, it’s pretty obvious that like a lot of people are messaging me, and I just want to read some of these off to you, because then we’re going to dive into how to network properly and not do this. So here’s one, I’m not going to read any names for privacy reasons, obviously. I’m going to edit a couple of the wordings in here just to keep, once again, people’s information privately, but these are actual messages. “Hi Josh. I hope you’re doing well. I am in need of suggestion for targeting, and for an audience. It is a drive campaign related to education. What demographics, interests and behaviors should be applied? Target locations are North America, Canada, Australia and Malaysia. Can you please guide me through this targeting process?” Like, what? What?

02:44          “Hey Josh.” There’s the next one. “Hey Josh. Not to be creepy or spam your group…” Alright, first off, hello. Right there. It’s like, don’t ever, like come on. You don’t…. You don’t start a message that way. “Hey Josh, not to be creepy or spam your group, but we have automated followup software that I really feel would benefit you and your members. The commissions for group owners are kind of crazy, and I think your group members would love it, and add recurring revenue for you.” Oh my gosh. So you’re going to pitch me your software in your very first… whatever. “Hey Josh. We’ve been connected for a long time on Facebook. I wanted to reach out and catch up with you this week on a quick 15 minute call. This week or the next week. Please let me know your availability.” I’m sure you would like to talk to me for 15 minutes, like God, come on, mind you, I’m a micro-influencer.

03:33          Now imagine all these big influencers, and what they’re getting. It’s just ridiculous. Here’s another one. This one’s great. “Hey Josh. I came across your profile and noticed that you are pretty well presented, and entrepreneurial… entrepreneurially oriented. I have personally found great value in getting to know other entrepreneurs, and sharing our experience on collaborating on win-win scenarios when possible. Is this something that you find valuable doing as well?” No, I don’t think that working is beneficial. Come on, like, oh, these questions are just so like. “Hi Josh. I have been in your entrepreneur group for some time now, and I appreciate the value, but I need to ask you something. Do you do anything with other influencers? I have a fairly low fairly large audience and reach out. I just sent me amazing and reach, and can help give you something that I believe could be very valuable for you. I have a lead generation software that goes in and pulls…”, and I’m not gonna say what it does cause I don’t wanna get anybody in trouble.

04:26          Once again, blatant pitch. First thing, with a link, this one literally has a link in it. Here’s another gun. Trying to make a travel page go viral. Ben added about a month, a month, that’s all they’ve been at it one month and then they’re already like, what the heck? And I’ve only gained 915 followers. I see people gaining 500 K in six months to a year without paying for a growth service. And at my current rate, I’ll be under 6,006 months. How do I build a legit following? This is super frustrating. If you can teach me how to do this right away, we may have a legit and have a legit following. I have no problem throwing some money at you after proven results.

05:04          Oh my gosh. Hey Josh. People I like ended my, or say you’re the guy I should talk to you about Instagram marketing. Let’s talk. Hey, Josh would love to work with you. Hey Josh. Doing a Josh spelled wrong. Hey Josh, doing a virtual summit. These are, I like what? They’re doing, a virtual summit and we’d love to interview you. Here’s some info about the summit. Oh, and by the way, it’s free for the people that sign up, but I mean, I personally, Josh have to pay to be interviewed in this summit in exchange for exposure like, oh my gosh guys, this is an example of how not to reach out to somebody. Keep in mind, I have what may be 100,000 followers on all social media. Now think of someone that has 500,000 a million. Think of the Russell Brunson’s of the world. The grant card owns of the world, the Tai Lopez’s of the world.

05:52          Even some, but even people smaller than that. Think of this deed, Larson’s of the world, the Rachel of the world. How do you get in front of those people? Let me tell you something. It sure as heck is not like that, I don’t think. Well, certainly I have not replied to a single one of those messages and I highly doubt anybody with half a brain or anyone with any level of intelligence would, especially not anybody with any level of success, but yet somehow me with, before I was famous, famous if you want to call it that before I had followers when I first got started, within a year, year and a half or so, I am now friends with people like Rachel Peterson, Stephen Larsen, Steven Larsen and I are good friends and he already talked to anyone and we boxed them texts back and forth on a regular or a somewhat regular basis.

06:36          Uh, James Smiley, like big, big names of people that I am now friends with that are hard to get ahold of and are considered influencers. Gary Vaynerchuk follows me on Twitter. Uh, Grant Cardone added me back on Snapchat and promoting my Instagram course. We’ll mine host ways. Instagram course during the first 10 x growth con, I’ve been invited to almost every single event that click funnels has done and put on as an influencer. How? How does someone like guys, I’m not saying these things to brag and like please understand. I am no one special. I am no one like I, I’m not cooler than anybody and I’m not saying this to brag. I’m pointing this picture to say like how does someone that four years ago was a farm boy four or five years ago was a farm boy, had no experience in marketing, had no experience in the Internet space, had no idea who any of these people were.

07:29          I was a complete nobody several years ago. How does someone like that go and start networking with these massive, massive names and become friends with other influencers and come become friends with people that make millions and millions and millions of dollars? How does one do that? In fact, back in my early Instagram days, I talked all about the importance of networking and damning other pages and getting in touch with them. I became friends with people like Jason Stone and it was able to hang out with him and talk to him and DM him back and forth. He had millions of followers on Instagram at the time. Still does millionaire mentors, his page and other huge, huge influencers. No, I didn’t get every influencer. There’s a lot of people that I’ve reached out to and connected to and all these different things that didn’t play at pay off or haven’t paid off yet.

08:12          I’m not friends with Gary Vaynerchuk. I haven’t become homeys with him yet. I haven’t become homeys with Tai Lopez yet or gotten to know him yet. But they’re on my radar. But like other big name influencers I have been able to, I’ve never paid any money for them. I haven’t paid for their programs. That’s one way to go do it. Like, you know what I mean? Like how did I go and do those things at that level and how, even when I was just getting started with Instagram, I connected with Jason Stone back when I had like 10,000 followers on Instagram. How does one do that? So I’m gonna break down kind of like a three part process of networking and kind of walk you through this because so many people are just doing this wrong. And it’s really not that hard to do, but you have to understand there is a process behind it and influencers get reached out to all the time.

09:01          People reach out to me all the time. So how does one become friends with someone like me? How does someone become friends? Once again, I’m a micro influencer. I’m not trying to put myself on a pedestal. Please don’t think that I’m trying to have this arrogant bighead. I’m practically a nobody in a lot of people’s books, but I know a lot of people and I’ve been able to connect with another perfect example, Cody near the dude’s going to do $60 million this year in e-commerce. He’s a really good friend of mine. He’s a client of mine now and he could have chosen anyone hung out with anyone. There’s no reason that he and I should really be friends, but we are. We’re really good friends in I. I’m going to see him tomorrow. Like I’m flying down there. We’re going to hang out. How does that happen?

09:41          So let’s dive into this process here. But I wanted to set the tone here and the expectation to say, listen, what I’m telling you here might not seem like mind blowing stuff. It’s not because networking with people is not hard because we’re all human beings, but when you actually apply this correctly, it is life changing information. Please understand. I am not saying this stuff or trying to teach you this stuff to put me on a pedestal or think that I’m better than you or any of those things. It’s not the case at all. I’m sharing this with you to help you so that you can go about networking with people the right way. All right, without further ado, let’s dive in. Okay. Step number one, you need to be intentional about the people that you are networking with. All right, so if you’re going out and you’re going to, you know, go try to have a relationship or get on people’s radar.

10:34          Now this is different. Obviously, if you just bump into someone, this, this one doesn’t necessarily apply as much if you just like bumped into someone at an event and happened to become friends with them. But even then, this does apply to a certain extent, but I’m talking about if you’re trying to reach out to people first off you like you need to be intentional about them and you need to be intentional about their world and you need to study them. And I see so many people that go and they’re like, man, it’d be so cool to be friends with X. It’d be so cool to get on so and so’s radar, but it’d be so cool to do this. But they like look at their profile for one second. They send them a message or like, Yo, what up? And then they expect something to happen.

11:09          That’s not how it works. All right? You’ve got to really sit down and be intentional and go, okay, is this someone that I actually want to have a relationship with? Because relationships and networking take commitment. It’s like any form of relationship goes two ways and if you’re going to network with someone and form a relationship with someone, you’ve got to be willing to sacrifice. Okay? And you can’t do it to everyone. It’s impossible to have a relationship with. Absolutely. Everyone out there. Now obviously you could have a relationship with more people. The older you get, the more time goes on because that can happen, but especially at the beginning you’ve got to be intentional and go, okay, can I actually provide value to this person? Is this someone that’s actually going to help me and is I, am I actually going to be able to help them?

11:50          Is this someone that’s worth my time and am I worth time right now? Right, because if they’re not worth your time, like if you’re, I dunno, in the e-commerce space or in the, you know, social media space and you’re trying to become friends with this massive, huge, I don’t know, fitness influencer or that isn’t going to help you in any way, shape or form, it’s going to be kind of be a waste of your time. For example, Logan, Paul, like me and Logan Paul, right now, the reason I haven’t pursued a relationship with Logan Paul, the reason that I haven’t tried to dream 100 the crap out of him yet and try to actually go and do that is because it’s not worth my time right now because it wouldn’t really benefit me and there’s not a whole lot of benefit that I can really bring to him, right?

12:28          So it’s like, alright, that opportunity hasn’t presented itself. I don’t really have any reason to go and have a relationship with that person, so I’m not going to go be intentional about it. So first thing is be intentional. Really think through the process of why do I want to be friends with this person? Why do I actually want to go and build a relationship with this person? Why do I want to network with them? Do I just want to get on their radar so that I can pay the money and become their client? Because most of the time, that’s not the case. That’s it. Pretty easy, right? Most of us want something out of the relationship or want to have a relationship with a person for a specific reason. When you’re intentional, then you’re going to actually sit down and start to learn about them.

13:04          All right, so being intentional is an absolutely fundamental key because moving on to point number two, this is where things are going to get interesting. This is very important. You’ve got to be intentional because number two, you actually have to have a genuine interest in this person. Now, I want, I want you to think about this, okay? How many people, in fact, when’s the last time you reached out to someone and took a genuine interest in their things without any ulterior motive whatsoever? Like you had no desire to try to get something out of them. You had no one’s desire or ulterior motive to pitch them or to set them up or anything like that. When’s the last time you did that? Most people can’t identify that time or identified the person that they did that too, because if they did, they’d probably have a relationship with them.

13:52          Now when you are going and are being intentional about who it is that you’re going to reach out to, when you reach out to them and when you ultimately connect with them, you have to have a genuine interest in them and expect nothing in return. Number two, what I just told you right there, and I’m gonna repeat it, is the number one most important point of all these three points. It just happens to fall in the number two slot. First you’ve got to be intentional. Second, you have to have a genuine interest in the other person with no ulterior motive or expectation of anything. Back when I went and became friends with Steven Larsen, I’m going to tell you this story because he knows about it. I knew Steven Larson was leaving clickfunnels and I knew that he was probably going to be big and I thought, you know what?

14:43          He is someone that I love what he’s doing. I love what he stands for. I’ve had the opportunity to meet him. I know he’s going to be big. I know that is gonna, you know he’s gonna ultimately blow out to be this. Really big person and have lots of influences or whatnot. When I approached my relationship with him, I was intentional about targeting out and singling out him because I was like, I want to have a relationship with him. Why? Because of, and I had my reasons. Right? He’s going to be big. He has a lot of knowledge. There’s a lot of influence. I believe in what he’s doing. I want to be associated with him. I want to learn from him. I want to get into his circle. I want to understand what he’s doing, but then I did the next step as well.

15:20          See, most people will go in, they’ll be like, have all these reasons that I want to be friends with this person. I want to know this person and they’re all selfish. Right? Mine. I had my reasons of wanting to because I knew he was going to be big and there’s a lot of information that I could learn from him, but more importantly I took a genuine interest in him and said, I want to be able to support him on his journey. How can I best do that? This is someone that I can get behind. How can I do that? And you know what, I reached out to Steven and I said, Steven, I want to help you. I took a genuine interest in him and I said, listen, I know that you’re just leaving clickfunnels. If there’s absolutely anything that I can do to help, please let me know.

15:53          Right? And that was how I started the, the conversation. I reached out to him and I congratulated him on his success with click funnels. I congratulated him on, you know, working next to Russell and learning. I was excited for him and I just said, listen man, if there’s anything that I could ever do to let the, to help you, please let me know. I offered to interview him and my Facebook group, I offered him to, you know, do all these different things, anything I could do and you know what? And he’s like, hey man, thanks so much. I really, really appreciate it. And we started a friendship that way. That was basically, I’ll have to go back and look at the first, like the first conversation I had between Steven and I, but that was it. I usually you genuine interested in him and what we were doing.

16:29          Guess what? Months go by. I think it was like two months go by and then we see each other again in another event and I was talking about social media or whatnot and he came up to me. He’s like, Josh, you know, you said, uh, there’s any way that I can help or that you could help me with whatever. I need some help on my social media. Now, at the time I was full pledged in social media. I offered courses, I offered a consulting, I offer done for you. I offer law. I could have very easily went to him and said, dude, absolutely 100% let’s get on a call. I’ll pitch you like I’ll go through everything. I’ll quote you a price and get them as a client. I probably could’ve made money off of them, but I didn’t. You know what I did? I remembered our conversation.

17:05          I said, no, I’m going to have a genuine interest in him and see what he’s up to and I’m just going to go and I’m gonna help him. And so you know what I did? I said, yes, Steven, absolutely, I’d love to help you. Let’s get on a call and I’ll see how I can best provide and you know, help you with everything. I just want to see you succeed. Genuinely meant that I genuinely believe that and I genuinely said that still. I’ll ask nothing of him ask for no money, did anything. We got a call, I explained everything to him. Normally I would have made close to $5,000 if I would have done for him what I did to others upfront with a retainer of a profit margin between 1,015 hundred bucks. Stephen worked with me for over six months, so I want to tally this up.

17:47          I would have made six roughly, depending on how you’re looking at 10 to $15,000 in profit. If I would have charged Steve Larson for what I did it to help him with, but I didn’t. I just said, Steve, you know what? I want to help you and I want to go and to have a relationship with you. I just want to learn from you, dude, and I want to see you succeed. I want to see you when I want to be part of your success. And I really mean that. So I’m going to do everything at cost. I’m not going to take a dime. I’m not going to make a dime profit. I just want to help you. And he’s like, dude, thank you so much. I really appreciate that. He was, you know, starting a business or whatever. So I guess what we went through, we had an actual relationship and I did for six months.

18:23          I did not make one single penny off of this guy. In fact, if anything, I lost money because I had to hire an Instagram manager to take care of his account. We launched his Instagram account. We will launch this Facebook group and it has gone on to do amazing, incredible things. But guess what, Steve Larsen is impossible to get ahold of. You can’t go and you know, sense. Even a text or an email or a message on Facebook and expect them to reply. But guess what? Because he was a client of mine, I got to talk to them on an almost weekly basis, turned into a monthly basis after a while, but I got to sit down with them and I’ve got to provide value and I got to provide value and I got to provide value and value in more and more and more. And then guess what?

18:58          Offer lab, I’m sorry, offer. Mine came up his big event and I knew that he was short staffed because I had been talking to them and I learned about him and I knew that he needed a little bit of help. So what do I do? I flew in a day early on my own dime. I went, I helped him set up all the event stuff, pass out water bottles and notebooks, set everything up, stay late at the end of the event, I help tear down like I helped it. Everything that I possibly could. I’m taking a genuine interest in that in him and I really want to see him succeed. And guess what, Steven? Laura and I are great friends now, and if I ever wanted Steven to speak at my event, guess what I could do? I could go and I could ask him to speak.

19:34          Yo, what’s up guys? You’ve been listening to The Think Different Theory with myself, Josh Forti, which I like to call, “A new paradigm of thinking”, and real quick, I got a question for you. Did you like this episode? If you did, I want to ask a huge favor. See, the biggest thing that helps this podcast grow, and that will spread this message of positivity and making the world a better place, is if you leave a review, a rating and subscribe to the podcast. What that does is, it basically tells the platforms that this is out on, that you like my stuff, and that I’m doing something right. So if you could take like three seconds out of your day and subscribe, leave a rating, and a review, I would be forever grateful for you. Also, I want to hear from you. I want to know your feedback, your ideas, and your questions for future episodes. So be sure to hit me up on Instagram in the DM @JoshForti or via email