Think Different Theory

Objective Thinking: Your Emotions are Creating Confusion

WHAT IS THIS EPISODE ABOUT?

In this episode, I’m going to talk about logic versus emotion, and why people can’t see clearly when they should be able to see clearly, especially when it comes to thinking and decision making. Most of us are able to see clearly but we choose not to because we let emotion get in the way.

WHY SHOULD I LISTEN?

I’m going to teach you how to overcome that through letting go of the emotions and adopting an objective view of yourself so you can get to experience the positive impact that will have on your life and business.

Here are the key topics discussed in this episode:

  • A change in perspective that gave me so much clarity (01:14)
  • Overcoming imposter syndrome and becoming my own student (04:31)
  • Taking the emotion out of it (07:03)
  • Pain shows you where you need improvement (12:26)
  • Taking an objective view on everything in business and life (16:30)
  • The power of being objective (20:26)
  • The most freeing thing that you will ever experience (24:38)

WHERE CAN I LEARN MORE?

Be sure to follow me on the below platforms:

Subscribe to the podcast on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Stitcher.

Instagram @joshforti

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WHEN DID IT AIR?

June 12, 2019

EPISODE LINKS:

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You can find the transcripts and more at www.thinkdifferenttheory.com/76

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If you haven’t already, please rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts!

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

The Transcript Is Auto Generated And May Contain Spelling And Grammar Errors

00:02        Of course, you’re confused and you don’t know what the next steps are, and you don’t know why you can’t get ahead in your business, or in your life, or whatever it is that you’re trying to get ahead in, because you don’t realize that pain is the body’s natural reaction to defending against attacking your emotions. And so, whenever you go and try to remove your emotions from something, your body goes, no pain, pain, pain, because your body doesn’t want you to remove your emotions. But if you remove your emotions, that is when you get the clarity that you need.

00:30          You are now entering a new paradigm.

00:34          So, here’s my issue. I wanted to find the answers to life’s biggest questions. Things like, how do I become happy and live with purpose? How do I make more money doing what I love, and what does it mean to be truly successful in all areas of life? My name is Josh Forti, @JoshForti on Instagram, and I ask life’s biggest questions and share the answers with you. My goal is to help you find purpose, happiness, and open your mind to new realms of possibility by helping you think differently about everything you do, know, and understand. On this podcast, we think different, we dream bigger, and we live in a world without limits. This is a new paradigm. Welcome to The Think Different Theory.

01:14          What’s up guys? Welcome back to another episode of The Think Different Theory. My name is Josh Forti and I want to start off this episode with a story, a story about me actually, and an eye-opening moment that I had about logic versus emotion, and how much clarity I found when my girlfriend actually said one thing to me that really just changed my entire perspective. And the crazy part was, it’s nothing that I didn’t know and it’s nothing that I had not heard before or thought about before, but she said it at the right time, the right place, and it all kind of just hit me, and I was like, “Oh yeah, that’s what I need to do.” And then I went and did that, and it worked, and I was like, “Oh my gosh, how did I not… how did I not see that before, or understand that before.”

02:00          So I’m gonna start with a story because in this episode we’re gonna be talking about logic versus emotion. And when it comes to thinking and decision making, and why people can’t see clearly when they should be able to see clearly. And they actually can see clearly, but they’re choosing not to because they’re letting emotion get in the way. All wrapped up, we’re gonna be talking about thinking objectively today, and the importance of that, and how that will play an incredible role in your life. And how literally when I did one thing, I’m not kidding you, one thing. My entire life changed. And, I know I say that a lot, but I’ve had a lot of life-changing moments in the past, you know, however many months of my life. And this was said to me at the beginning of the year, right around the time that we were struggling to launch our company. Right?

02:45          We weren’t exactly sure who we wanted to target. We weren’t exactly sure who we were going to sell to. We weren’t exactly sure what we were going to sell. All these different things. Right? So I want to take you back to that point. This is back in January and we’re… I’m sitting down with… with my business at the time, Lauren, and we’re going through everything, and we’re trying to figure out, “Okay, we’re going to start this company, and it’s going to be awesome. And, we’re going to, you know, serve all these people, and we have all this talent. We can store it, right? We can put funnels, we can do this, we can do that, we can do all these different things. But we weren’t… like, we weren’t sure… like who we were going to target. We weren’t sure exactly what we were going to sell.

03:17          We weren’t sure what the market wanted. We were doing all these different things and we were taken stabs at something and we weren’t seeing success. We weren’t making headway. And a couple of weeks had gone by and we’re still trying to figure everything out. And I remember I was sitting there and I sat down with my girlfriend, her name is Leah, and we sat there and we’re talking back and forth and I was like, yeah, like I just don’t get it. Like I’m so, I’m so talented. I know that I know my stuff. I know I can sell, I know we can build funnels, I know we can do social media. I know Lauren could write stories and I know we could help all these different types of people and we can create offers and we know how to do this. And I’ve started and I’ve learned, but for some reason I can’t figure all these pieces here and I don’t know what to target here.

03:51          And I’m just not sure about this. I’m just not sure about that. And it’s this whole imposter syndrome, right? I can do it for somebody else. And I told her that, I said, anybody I can go and I can sit down with them and I can look at their social media and I can tell them exactly what’s wrong with it. Anybody. I can train to go and start a Facebook group or start a business or create an offer or sell something and I can go through this entire process of everything. And I said, I’ve taken multiple people from zero to six figures. I’ve taken dozens and dozens and dozens of people to from zero to five and zero to multi five figures. We’ve helped hundreds and thousands of people go and grow followers on Instagram and Facebook. And I said, I’ve been able to figure out all these things, but for some reason I can’t do it for my own fricking life.

04:31          Why can’t I go? Why can’t I go figure that out? And she looks at me and there was a pause and she just goes, so go become your student. And I’m like, what? What do you mean? She goes, go and become your own student. Treat yourself like you are a student. And I’m like, well, well, okay, but like, and she said, no, just do it. Take emotion out of it and go and become your, your student. And I thought about this for a long time. I was like, wow, that’s actually a really good idea. I don’t know how, I hadn’t thought of it before and I’m sure like I had, but it never had just hit me in that way because here’s the thing, and what I would do is every single time that I would go and I would do something for a student, and every single time that I would go and say like, oh, that’s what you need to do here.

05:19          When I would look at it at myself in that same way or that same area on myself, I would use emotion to kind of justify and go, oh, well I’m too busy for that. Or, Oh, I’m doing this over here. I’m doing this over here. And I would never actually go fix that problem. And I would just excuse it as, oh, I know what I’m doing. Oh, I know what I’m doing. Oh, I know what I’m doing. And I would get emotional and I would get defensive. Why? Because I was emotionally invested into myself. I was afraid to go where it hurt. I was afraid to go and look at the negative sides of my business and have my life. Of course I could do it for somebody else because I wasn’t the person that was really going and being critiqued. I wasn’t the one that was having to go through that pain and I was the one that is giving that pain and really helping that person.

06:03          But when someone would do it, to me that’s painful. It’s really painful to have somebody tell you you’re doing something wrong. It’s really painful to have someone show you where you need to correct and go and do all these things. It’s really painful to have someone point out like, hey, you’re a mess here, here and here, and here’s where you need it fixed. But it’s even more painful and way, way, way harder to admit it to yourself. It’s way harder to admit that you’ve done things wrong. It’s way harder to admit that you’ve got these things. Do they need to be fixed? And so as I sat there and I thought about this, I went, okay, I need to become my own student. Well, what’s the first thing that I tell my students before I rip them apart and destroy everything? You know that they bill and go and rebuild it from the bottom up.

06:47          I always tell them, I say, listen, don’t take this personally. We’re here to help. This is constructive feedback. You’ve done a lot of awesome things. Everything that I’m about to tell you does not make you a bad person. Take the emotion out of it and I want you just to listen and then go and do this and it will work. And I sat back and I started to do that to myself and I immediately put up walls and I was like, ah, well, but I’ll get to that here. I can stay here. And I went, nope. I’ve got to bring down that emotion. I’ve got a break, take my emotion out of it. And that’s when everything started to click for me. So about this time, continuing on with the story, I started really diving in more and more to Sam Ovens. As you guys know, we’ve done some Sam Ovens coaching and got his programs and all of that.

07:28          And Sam Ovens talks about the importance of viewing everything objectively. Now here’s the thing that sounds all fine and dandy. Good. In fact, it sounds very simple. It doesn’t even sound that powerful. Like, alright, view it as an innocent bystander. Oh, what are the market trends doing? Oh, what is this doing? And so when I started listening to this, I started realizing, wow, I need to start taking an objective view on the market. Because in Sam oven’s consulting accelerator, like that’s what he’s talking about, taking an objective view on the market and not being emotionally attached to your products or to this do that and all this stuff. And I was like, yeah, I gotta take an objective view on the market and all that stuff. And then one day as Lee and I were having that conversation and she goes and she says, Josh, become your own student.

08:08          I started doing that process and I started realizing I was putting up walls because I didn’t want to deal with that pain. And then I would remember back, Oh man, Sam oven says we need to go into the painful areas. And he talks about the importance of that. I’m like, Oh man, okay, that makes sense. This is the pain that he’s talking about, the uncomfortable situations we have to be okay with. And then all of a sudden as I was doing this process and as I became my own student, it clicked for me and I went, oh my gosh, I not only have to take an objective view on the market, I have to take an objective view on myself. I have to view myself and my life as an outsider. I have to look at my business as an outsider, as an objective bystander.

08:51          Why? Because emotion gets into the way of, you know what the definition of objective is? The debt, the dictionary definition, a person or their judgment not influenced by personal feelings or opinions in considering and representing facts. Murray, that again, a person or their judgment. So in this case, you the person or the observer not influenced by personal feelings or opinions when considering and representing facts. So what happens? We go through and someone comes and says, oh, well, Josh, you do x poorly. Whatever that thing is, or insert your name there. I can come to you and I can say, Hey, insert your name here. Your social media sucks right now. You, what are you gonna do? You’re gonna immediately get defensive. Whoa, throw up walls. Go. How dare you say this sucks? Well, guess what? Everybody on the outside that knows anything about what they’re talking about could look at your social media and go, yeah, it sucks, but guess what?

09:54          You’re emotionally involved. You’re emotionally attached. So what are you going to do? You’re going to get defensive. You’re going to block them all out and you’re going to defend it. You’re going to go, no, it doesn’t. This is my social media. Why? Because it’s painful to admit that that sucks and that’s normal. That is a normal human tendency and that is okay. But Ego and emotion and ego state stems right out of emotion is blocking you from being able to see reality and see facts and your ego and emotion is going to defend itself literally by putting up pain sensors to say, nope, don’t you dare go here. That’s painful. That is the body, the emotional part of your brain’s natural defense mechanism against things that it doesn’t want to hear or see. Okay, so now you’ve got this pain, you got this emotion. You’re like, ah, well if you’re doing that in all areas of your life, anytime someone is trying to critique it, guess what?

10:53          You’re never going to be able to see things clearly. So what happens? Well, people get stuck in their entrepreneurship journey or their journey to success, whatever that looks like, whether it’s entrepreneurship or college or marriage or like whatever it is, they get emotionally attached to their viewpoint, right? And so they get emotionally tested her viewpoint and then someone else comes along and tries to critique them or tries to go and show them, hey, this is what you should be doing. And they put up a defense mechanism of wall and so they can’t see it. And because if they tried to see it, just because they try to see it themselves doesn’t mean the pain is not going to be there. Right? Like for example, and you’ve got a cut on your arm and somebody else comes along and touches it, it’s going to be painful right now if you come along and touch it, it is still going to be painful.

11:41          It doesn’t magically not be painful just because you’re the one that’s touching it. Right. Exactly. The same thing is true here. So we get frustrated and we wonder, well, why am I not making more sales in my business? Why am I not better at soccer? Why am I not better up music? Why am I not getting better grades? Why am I not, you know, having a better relationship with my wife or my husband? Why am I not growing more followers on social media? Why am I not blank? You fill in the blank for whatever it is. Well, guess what? You ever gone and ask a bunch of people what they think about you, your strengths and your weaknesses and you get answers that you never even thought about or realized. Yeah, it’s a great exercise. That’s the same concept because you’ve got to, you got to go and they have an objective view of you.

12:26          You have an emotional view of you. You’re emotionally attached to yourself and so when you go and you make judgments based on you, you naturally come at it from a state of blindness because you don’t want to go and enter the, the painfulness of what an objective you looks like. Now when you go and start taking objective views on a market and start taking objective use on yourself, your entire life changes, but you’re only able to do that if you practice being okay with being in pain a little bit. And as you know, you’ll hear Sam ovens talk about this. You’ll hear other successful people talk about this. Pain is not a bad thing. Pain shows you where you need improvement and so pain often comes, especially in our journey of self development, self improvement business and all that pain like I said, comes as a defense mechanism to protect our ego, to protect our feelings.

13:25          But if we let that down and we take an objective view like I did on my business, then you’re able to go see things clearly for what they actually are. And let me tell you something. The market, the world, the rest of society does not care about your feelings. You know what feelings stem from emotion, not logic. All right, so what does that mean? If you’re looking at things through your lens of emotional attachment, you are not seeing things for how they actually are. You are seeing things through your lens and the best way in the world to get ahead is to look at things not through your lens but through the lens of the rest of the world, the Lens Lens of the rest of society, the rest of your market, the rest of whatever the situation is that you’re dealing with. Why? Because that is what’s actually happening.

14:19          You cannot know what truth is, what actually needs to be informed or like what needs to be fixed and you can’t gather the right data if you’re looking at things through a skewed lens. I’ve used this example before. If you’ve got a pair of glasses on, right? You’re seeing the world through that tint of glass and so if I have glasses on that are tinted to where I see everything red and I go and I look at something and it’s blue but I see it as red because I’m wearing red sunglasses. If I don’t take those red sunglasses off, I am forever going to think that that color is blue. I don’t know that it’s blue and I really truly believe that it’s red. I’m never going to know that it’s blue until I take those sunglasses off and we’ll actually go, oh, that’s red.

15:06          The rest of the world, the rest of society, the rest of the market there said everybody else is going to go. Now that’s clearly blue, but you and your sunglasses are going to be like, nope, that’s red. Same thing is true with your ego. If you’re blinded by your ego, if you’re blinded by your emotion, if you’re blinded by not looking at things objectively, you’re going to forever thing something is one way. And guess what, from your viewpoint, it might be, but that doesn’t make it fact. And so when you take an objective seat in your role of life and you look at your own life as a character in life rather than as a participant. Now I’m not saying that you’re not a participant. I’m not saying don’t go back into your emotional state. And you know, I’m not saying get rid of all emotions like love is a good thing, and having a connection and all those things, that all comes from emotion.

15:52          Not saying emotion is bad, but people want to know why they’re confused. They want to know why there are so upset and they can’t seem to get ahead. They want to know why. They can’t seem to figure things out as because they’re making decisions with logic. So what I started doing is I started treating myself as my own student. So what did I do? I literally acted as us. If I was looking down on myself working in my office and I would talk to myself sometimes it was out loud. I probably sounded like a creep and sometimes it was just in my head, but I’d be like, all right Josh, what should I do? I’d be like, all right, so what’s the next step? What’s the next step that you take people through and you’re going to student? I’d be like, all right, sweet. So that, oh, the next thing is what?

16:30          And that’s all right, Josh. The next thing that you’re gonna do is you’re going to figure out what your market actually wants, but you’re not going to take it. You know you’re not gonna get emotional about it. Just ask them and read the responses back. And so I would go and I would do that and then I’d got it all right, man. And then we’d go back and forth and started taking an objective view on everything in my business. You know what happened in March? Like in January, we made almost no money through actual vivid February we launched, we made a few grand. Just because you know different roles and things like that more. I’m sorry, that was in February. March. We did like $65,000 why? Because anywhere I started looking at things objectively and actually taking my emotions out of the market and just going based off of facts.

17:08          Same thing is true with my life, not just with business. This is true in life. I would get frustrated and mad all of the time. So what happened? I started looking at myself and going, Huh, well Josh, you’re doing x and you know that if you saw anybody else doing x, the result would be y and you’re mad that you’re experiencing why but you’re doing x, so stop doing x. And I’d be like, but I want to do x so bad. I’m like, well, okay, you then you’re going to have this result over here. You have a terrible relationship with your family. Well that’s because of this. You have a terrible relationship with block and I have, you know, had to work through all these different things. But I was blinded because my ego, because my emotion would get the way, and I’d be like, well, I’m not a bad person.

17:51          Didn’t say you were a bad person and just because you struggle, it doesn’t make you a bad person. But my ego, my emotions got in the way. And we’re like, well, if I struggled to hear I’m a bad person, if I don’t do that, I’m a bad person at all. My God, you’re not going to trust me. You’re not going to hurt you and hurt my feelings. You’re gonna not think I’m capable of blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But then I would go and say, all right, if I was my brother, if I was somebody down the street and I watched them walk through this exact same situation, would I look at them and go, you’re a week? Nope. Actually, if I had all the facts and I looked at that, I would be like, no, that’s actually the logical thing that you need to do to get better.

18:33          Huh? I should probably do that. And then I got comfortable with being in pain for a little bit, working through that. And I would take this objective view on every single thing that I did and then guess what? Life started to get better. Taking an objective view on the market, on my life, on everything that I do, and viewing myself as a participant and me standing back and being an observer of my own life, of my own business, of my own you name. It changed my life and my viewpoint more than almost anything else. It’s one of the most important things that has helped me get to this point in my life right now. And so when I went through, even through the terrible death of my brother, right? I mean like that was a really, really hard situation. And yes, I was very, very emotional and I was allowed to be emotional, right?

19:23          But after that grieving was over for the first few days or a week, what did I do? I took a step back and get, okay, right now I’m in pain right now. I don’t want to talk to anyone right now. I feel like the world is against me. I feel like God has abandoned me. I feel like all these different things. Now, let me look at this from an objective standpoint. I’m not saying give up on a motion forever. I’m not saying your emotion is bad. Of course emotion was totally fine to have for me and my brother there, but I took a step back and I went, okay, I need to figure out how to do blah, blah, blah. Right now I don’t feel like this, but I know logically if I stay down this road forever, that would not be good. So what are the logical next steps from an objective point of view?

20:01          I’m going to go back to my emotions in a second, but right now I gotta step out of my emotions. What are the next things that I needed to do? And guess what? I realized that I needed to go to therapy. So I went and went to therapy. I did not want to go to therapy. I thought like my life growing up, I’m like, dude, if you need therapy, you’ve got issues. But I took an objective view and went, hey, I am emotionally unstable right now. I’m dealing with a traumatic loss. I don’t know what my next steps are in life. I’ve got to figure out how to deal with this. I have not studied brain trauma enough to know how to deal with this. I’m going to go seek guidance from someone that does. Yes, I could spend the next six months or a year of my life trying to figure it out myself or I could pay someone 75 bucks or 150 bucks or whatever it is, and I can go learn from them and I can speed up my healing process.

20:43          I can get back onto my feet. That is the power of being objective and when you do that in every single area of your life, on your success journey, in your marriage or your relationship with your girlfriend, boyfriend, with your kids, with your job, with your career, with your, whatever your dream is. If you do that in all areas and you take a step back and go, what is the logical conclusion of what is next? And then you enter your belt body back again, right? You go back to that state and go, that is what I’m going to go do, and you allow yourself to deal with pain. I’ve got to go through some painful stuff. I’ve had to admit to myself, like by no means am I saying this is easy, right? This sucks. I’m going to admit to myself some things about myself and I’m just like, ah, ah, I can’t believe I’m that type of person.

21:33          Ah, I can’t believe I did that in my life. I can’t believe people think that about me. All right? That’s, that’s fact. It’s reality. How do I go fix it? It’s painful, but it’s the most life-changing exercise you can possibly do. Why? Because now you are seeing things clearly. You’re taking your emotions out of it and you’re just looking at the actual fact. If you’re upset on your entrepreneurship journey, it’s because you have not looked at things logically yet. It’s okay to be disappointed that you’re not where you want to be, but it’s not okay to stay there and dwell on it and act like you’re doing the right thing when clearly is not getting you anywhere. Here’s the thing, guys. We know success works. We know that anybody can go get rich. We know that anybody can build a business. We know that there are proper steps to go through and build anything, whether it’s an athlete or a musician, or a business owner, or a teacher, or like whatever.

22:23          There’s a logical step by step process on how to get there. So if you’re not doing something right or you’re not seeing success with it, you can let your ego overtake you. You can get super emotional and you can yell and scream and be confused and be like, I don’t know what’s going on. Ah. Or you can go, hmm, I wonder why that didn’t work. Look at all the facts and if it doesn’t make sense, go, Huh, maybe I’m missing a fact. What do I need to do? And then go back to the market or back to whatever it is that you’re doing and go out there and continue to do it. It is that simple. Now I want to end on this note. It is not easy. It is actually very boring. A lot of times like it might be fascinating and concept, but like when you start doing this over and over and over again, sometimes you’re like, oh my gosh, this is so boring, but you’ll learn so much from it.

23:13          It’s not always a super exciting, thrilling, emotionally charged thing. Why? Because you’re taking all that out of it and you’re just looking at it for what it is, right? You can look at a piano and you could get really emotionally involved in play, beautiful music and would be amazing or whatever, but if you take an objective view at the piano and go, all right, what’s the piano? It’s a piece of wood. It’s some keyboard. There are keys. It’s some strings that some pretty boring stuff, right? But when it all flows together, you create an amazing masterpiece from it, but you can’t create that amazing masterpiece unless you have all the pieces of the piano. Unless you’ve gone through and done the practice with the piano unless you’ve actually gone through and done the steps that it actually takes to get there. The same thing is true in all areas of your life.

23:56          This is not easy, but what I want to recommend to you as we wrap up this episode is the next time you’re facing a difficult situation, remind yourself and say, okay, I’ve got to look at this objectively and then remove yourself from you and act like you’re another person. And if, if you have to make up a name, if you have to be super weird and like talk to yourself, do it, whatever it takes, be like, all right. Or if you have to imagine you what you’re doing in somebody else, maybe you have a brother or a sister or friend and you can be like, all right, if my friend Blah was doing exactly what I was doing right now, what would my advice be to them? Oh Huh, okay. Now why would that be difficult? Because I have this and this and this emotion.

24:38          Cool, so that that, that emotion I have to go, I have to bury. I have to be okay with being in pain. They’re a little bit, I have to be super self-aware, right? It’s painful. It’s hard. It’s not easy. That’s a super, super hard thing to do, but when you go do that, it’s the most freeing thing that you could ever experience and you will get to the end of it and you’ll be like, oh my gosh, that is what I needed to do. That is how I got ahead and you would’ve never noticed those things unless you took an objective view on that. All right guys, that’s all I’ve got for you today. I hope this was helpful as always, hustle, hustle, God bless. Do not be afraid to think different because those of us that think different are going to be the ones that change the world.

25:19          Seriously. It’s, it’s just true. I’m going to leave you with this quote. There is something that I read. It said, getting your life together requires a level of honesty that you can’t even imagine. There’s nothing easy about realizing that you’re the one that’s been holding you back this whole time and that’s the concept of this all. But when you take an objective view and you go, those things do not define me. They are simple actions that I have taken that has led me to here, but they are not me. How do I go and fix them? Nothing is permanent. You can always go and fix it and become the person that you want to become. I love you all and I will see you on the next episode. Take it easy fam. Peace.

26:00          Yo, what’s up guys? You’ve been listening to The Think Different Theory with myself, Josh Forti, which I like to call, “A new paradigm of thinking”, and real quick, I got a question for you. Did you like this episode? If you did, I want to ask a huge favor. See, the biggest thing that helps this podcast grow, and that will spread this message of positivity and making the world a better place, is if you leave a review, a rating and subscribe to the podcast. What that does is, it basically tells the platforms that this is out on, that you like my stuff, and that I’m doing something right. So if you could take like three seconds out of your day and subscribe, leave a rating, and a review, I would be forever grateful for you. Also, I want to hear from you. I want to know your feedback, your ideas, and your questions for future episodes. So be sure to hit me up on Instagram in the DM @JoshForti or via email contact@ThinkDifferentTheory.com.